Jersey Shore Season 2: They’re In Miami Trick (Sorry Miami)

sue returns with a look at the return of the most notorious show on tv….fist pump!

Season 2 of MTV’s infamous Jersey Shore started off with both a bang and a whimper, if that is at all possible. The bang involved the return of the essentially useless Angelina, who left Seaside Heights last season after minimal time spent in the shore house. Obviously seeing the error of her ways (and the fact that, as a result of her early departure, she had become the least bankable Jersey Shore cast member) Angelina decided to “give it another shot” in Miami. Her inexplicable attitude, acting as though she were God’s gift, and the fact that she trashed talked about other cast members in the interim, have made her a much hated member of the South Beach household. Given the fact that none of these people seemed at all skilled at civil and calm resolution of issues, it is of no surprise that a screaming match ensues in the first episode (nor that physical violence is depicted in the season’s preview).

What is also glaringly clear: Mike “the Situation’s” comment from Season 1 that she (Angelina) “lose 5-10 lbs and we’ll talk” was not taken lightly. In fact, it is quite clear that both Angelina and Sammi “Sweetheart” have both taken up the celebrity diet that befalls most reality show “stars”. Whether you like her thin or voluptuous, one thing is true about Angelina: J-Woww was right, she does have a pancake ass.

Season 2’s whimper comes in the form of the oh-so high school romantic drama still bubbling between Sammi and Ronnie. How she can claim to be “in love” with a person who’s laugh makes me believe there is nothing but cotton candy and gummy bears where his brain should be, is simply beyond me. His dance moves alone are enough to make any sane girl run for cover. The fact that Sammi “realizes” only half-way through their first night in Miami that living with the douche-lord that you’ve just broken up with is not a good idea makes me question the honesty of this storyline. Did she not see this coming or did the idea of a free vacay in Miami blur her vision? Hmmm…..

In honor both of Jersey Shore, and of the season finale of Bravo’s Watch What Happens, I’m giving you my Mazel and Jackhole of the week:

Mazel: Here’s to Pauly D/The Situation and J-Woww/Snooki for portraying what I believe to be honest friendships spawned from mutual appreciations of GTL and “gorillas.” If the show were comprised of just these four, there would be no drama and MTV would probably make no money (but also save money because, hey, no bail…) I truly believe these people are self-aware and simply embrace all that their trash-tastic personalities have done for them…

Which brings me to my Jackhole of the Week: MTV/America for making these losers believe they are worth $30K per episode. Seriously? These champions of mediocrity and deplorable behavior want to make $30K for abandoning reason, intelligence, class and tact….and we’ve let them get this way. Much like I blame Cleveland for turning LeBron into what he’s become, I blame the U.S. for turning 8 caricatures of Italian(?) youth into entitled chodes.

In closing, yes I will continue to watch Jersey Shore. Though I deplore the money they make acting like uncontrollable, hedonistic animals with little morals or ethics, it makes for good TV. On another, lighter note: J-Woww, I’ve seen you in magazines. You can be pretty. Please, tone down the outfits, run a comb through your extensions…you make $30K an episode, hire a stylist/hair/makeup person. Please.

Founded in September 2009, The Pop Break is a digital pop culture magazine that covers film, music, television, video games, books and comics books and professional wrestling.

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