nick porcaro is a human being and does not approve of Weezy’s latest …
Somewhere along the way people stopped saying “no” to Lil Wayne.
It’s hard to believe nowadays but there was a time when this was a good thing. Back when Weezy was hungry enough to put effort into his rhymes, his unhinged avant-garde kick lent a distinct flavor to the colossal pile of solo tracks and guest appearances he dropped in that magical period from 2006–2009. But then 2008’s Tha Carter III went platinum in a week, mostly off the momentum of its pop crossover single “Lollipop”, and all bets were off. Over time Weezy took more interest in sipping syrup, attempting to play guitar, messing around with Auto-Tune and endlessly proclaiming his prowess in the bedroom than surprising us.
The last time poor Dwayne Carter sounded relevant was on 2009’s No Ceilings mixtape, where he laid waste to the hottest beats of the year and shamed pretty much all of the artists involved. 2011‘s Tha Carter IV, on the other hand, was far too forgettable to count as an entry in the storied Carter album series. As if to demonstrate Wayne’s diminishing credibility, the album featured not one but two songs consisting entirely of guest verses. You can’t entirely blame him: the prospect of 2013 Weezy holding his own next to Nas or Tech N9ne or Andre 3000 is laughable.
Upon listening to the self-proclaimed Martian’s latest release, I Am Not a Human Being II only confirms what Weezy himself warned in August: he doesn’t give a shit about rap anymore. The sheer dearth of lyrical inspiration on display here is enough to prove he’d much rather be skateboarding, or having sex, or getting fucked up, or doing damn near anything than spending time in a recording studio. The nadir of an already embarrassing album has to be “Beat the Shit”, anchored by a poor man’s Skrillex beat and this completely disposable chorus:
Beat the shit out of that pussy-ass nigga
Bitch-ass, ho-ass, pussy ass-nigga
It’s like listening to a real life version of Tyler, the Creator’s Lil B parody Young Nigga. Only this guy’s rich and famous enough for album art by Kanye West and production by some of the hottest beatmakers in the game (and Soulja Boy). Yes, not only does Mr. “Crank That” drop an early candidate for Worst Verse of the Year on “Trigger Finger”, he also lends a snoozer of a beat to “Wowzers.” When you’re turning to Soulja Boy for album filler, your career is at a new low.
Sure enough, I Am Not a Human Being II sets the bar for “phoning it in” in 2013. Minimalist album art posing as sophisticated design? Check. Mindless mantras repeated ad nauseum in place of memorable hooks? Check. Token pop single with singing by Drake or Future? Double check; both are featured on Top 10 hit “Love Me.” The only track even close to a surprise is the Limp Bizkit-aping album closer, “Hello”, sounding completely out of place among the prior fourteen songs. Even then this track sounds like a reject from 2010’s disastrous Rebirth. (Scratch that earlier thought … when you’re ripping off Limp Bizkit your career is at a new low.)
It’s pointless to discuss this album much further. If you’ve heard rap radio in the past few years you know what it sounds like, which means you already know if it’s worth a listen or not. If, however, you haven’t figured it out by now, here’s a little hint. When it comes to new Lil Wayne albums, just say no.