The WWE-ek: A ‘Mother’ of a Week

michael dworkis looks at the week in WWE and some old WCW footage …

week

This week saw more pushing towards Extreme Rules, and strangely enough, it would be on SmackDown which created potential for The Shield to become champions. More on that in a moment.

First, Damien Sandow is The Genius. Did you hear his version of Randy Orton’s entrance theme?

More Ryback is a monster and Cena is injured. They are pushing the injury angle, so I am beginning to wonder if this will turn into a “Cena beat the odds” angle (again) or if Ryback wins the title, it is marred by the fact Cena competed with an injury. In either case, Ryback vs. Cena is going to headline, although many wonder why the “other” title match is pushed to mid-card?

The “other” title is the World Heavyweight Championship. Ziggler held onto the MITB briefcase until the day after WrestleMania 29, and the entire planet erupted when he finally cashed in and defeated Alberto del Rio for the World Title. Since then, his championship reign has been kept low, yet his feud with the former champion and Jack Swagger has been nothing short of incredible. With the World Championship being decided in a Triple Threat Ladder match at Extreme Rules, you would think that should be main event. Cena is not in the match … so … I am not telling you anything you don’t already know.

Antonio Cesaro is back and better than before. No more stupid yodeling, and whoever came up with that needs to go out for electroshock. The guy is a force and is likely rising fast to be a WWE/World Title contender. He trounced all over Ryder on Raw, but lost to Randy Orton on Main Event. Fine, Orton gets a win on the C-show and Cesaro looks like an iron giant on the A-show. His promo after squashing Ryder was dead-on perfect asking WWE management, “got anyone else?”

SmackDown felt it was lacking in the consistency department, with a number of matches ending by way of DQ. However, we do see Kofi Kingston once again involved against The Shield. Thanks to Kofi, Bryan was saved from another trio beat down. I called it a week or two ago, Kofi may defend the US Title against one member while the other two go for the Tag Team Titles. Perfect opportunity knocking to have the three newcomers sweep the WWE roster and claim championships in a single night. Ryback then nailed Jericho where “the sun don’t shine” to end their main event match.

Probably explains why Cesaro dropped the United States Championship to Kofi in the first place.

Speaking of title-droppers, is Wade Barrett still Intercontinental Champion? I could not be sure because HE KEEPS LOSING! Why. Why does Khali get more airtime with his stupid, ridiculously asinine clown circus of a gimmick while Wade Barrett, a top-notch athlete is a jobber-fodder? He goes through feuds with Orton, The Miz, and Sheamus, only to lose to everybody else?! Oh wait, he beat William Regal. Good for him. Great scriptwriting there boys, have him beat Regal, a guy who had pretty much hit retired-legend status in a less-than-three minute match. Let me go clean my chicken and throw you a bone. Here is a hint. BOOK HIM LIKE AS IF HE IS A CHAMPION! Oh wait … he IS a CHAMPION.

Shows like Main Event and NXT showcase some great talent. Very reminiscent of Velocity and Heat from over a decade ago. Today there are guys like Justin Gabriel and The Usos, while in yesteryear we had Billy Kidman and Paul London soaring around like Pterodactyls.

Jericho came back for nothing. He takes on Fandango in a dancing contest this week on Raw. Way to go Jericho. I wonder who came up with this idea, Jericho or the creative staff? If Jericho did, good for you. If not, you people get paid for this? Sign me up! Oh wait … I did once …

A lot of nostalgia columns on WWE.com lately. General feeling from fans, the company, or both? I won’t complain, I dig nostalgia. You are talking to a guy who DVR’d all of AWA when it was aired on reruns a couple of years ago on various sports-networks. [Editor’s Note: I did as well.]

Batista landed a role in Guardians of the Galaxy. As Grax. Should be entertaining.

The Rock tweeted that he is recovering from his hernia. You hear that? He finally freakin’ admitted it was a goddamn hernia. Pushing intestines back in, major surgery. Acting like his hernia is better than anyone else’s. Go do G.I. Joe 3. Call it the Return of the Ego. If it ever left.

John Morrison occasionally gets some play on WWE.com, but this week he earned a feature column regarding his new fitness exercise program. I am guessing he remains on very good terms with WWE if he ever decides to grace us with his presence. I mean that with sincerity, not sarcasm, because this dude truly earned the moniker of “The Guru of Greatness” and the “Prince of Parkour” as evidenced by his uncanny superhuman in-and-out-of-the-ring abilities. Not going to lie, the guy competed in WWE for nearly a decade and it seems like he just came and went too quickly.

WWE.com put up videos of some embarrassing footage from WCW. Sure, watching Raven and Kanyon go clothes shopping is pretty bad and any footage involving Oklahoma (a very bad, tasteless, and completely disrespectful rip on Jim Ross) is certainly slumber-inducing. Of course nothing was more god-awful than watching Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff “reboot” WCW like a broken NES console. However, a clip with Buff Bagwell sleepwalking through a match with La Parka and his comments afterwards reminded me even the wrestlers know when something is terribly wrong. I only mention this because after watching the videos I searched the internet to see what Buff Bagwell is up to. The guy was one of my favorites back in the good WCW days, and I remained loyal through his time during the bad ones, up to his released from WWE shortly after WCW was acquired by Vince McMahon. Sadly, Bagwell was in a serious accident just a year ago and suffered major injuries requiring long-term care. The good news is he has since made a very fast recovery and talked at length about the incident, as well as his release from WWE back in 2001.

I remember watching way back in the early 1990s where Marcus Bagwell was predominantly a tag team wrestler. As Marcus Bagwell he won the WCW Tag Team Championships with 2 Cold Scorpio, twice with The Patriot, and once more with Scotty Riggs. With The Patriot the duo was called Stars and Stripes, and then once paired with Riggs they were known as The American Males. Bagwell saw success, but never made it to the top. Enter the New World Order. Fot the next few years Bagwell enjoyed singles success as a main eventer, even without holding a major championship. See what good booking can do? After the nWo disbanded, Bagwell won the tag titles a fifth time, paired with the ECW Franchise, Shane Douglas. To be honest, Bagwell had one great career going. Call me nostalgic, but I wish he were still competing today for WWE. Sorry, but TNA would ruin any return chances.

TNA. Some wonder why I am so negative about TNA, Impact Wrestling, The Hogan Show, or whatever they call themselves. Well, I really do not feel a need to explain, when all I can say is: Try to watch a whole episode without changing the channel. I dare you.

Zack Ryder, I want my Cruiserweight Championship match. Come on! Let’s do it! Bring back the championship!!