The WWE-ek: Memorial Day Edition

michael dworkis is off the chain …

week

Wade Barrett is a three time Intercontinental Champion. His first two reigns came at the defeat of Kofi Kingston, his third, defeating The Miz a day after losing it at the WrestleMania pre-show.

Right now, and I mean, right this very moment, now, the former bare-knuckle brawler is the most losing Intercontinental Champion since, I do not even know, since Jeff Jarrett’s first title reign? Dean Douglas? Hakushi as a face? Why does he even have the belt if all he is scripted to do is lose and lose, and then host a pre-show, then lose some more, then do a movie, lose again, lose a pre-show… I just lost my train of thought.

Go back in time for a moment, to an era where Wade Barrett was main eventing for nearly a year, wins over both John C-nuts and Randy Boreton. Remember the Nexus, or the Corre? Two stables which dominated WWE programming for well over a year with Mr. Barrett at the helm. His mic skills are superb and his wrestling ability in the ring is uncanny, a rare combination of a sophisticated brawler (see Bruiser Brody and Stan “The Lariat” Hansen), a mat-based technician (see Curt Hennig and Dean Malenko), as well as a variable high impact athlete (British Bulldog and Owen Hart). Quite frankly, the only other wrestlers I have seen with this very same amalgamation of abilities are William Regal and Dave “Fit” Finlay.

If all this is true, and for the few years in-between the past and present Barrett headlined the undercard either as Intercontinental Champion or challenger in a main event match, why on Earth is he a losing champion? One might think a titleholder, regardless of the type of belt worn, would be featured and prominently as a top star. However, given the track record of WWE and their treatment of the undercard, and the undercard titles, there is a very good reason. Santino Marella, one of the resident town idiots was Intercontinental Champion in 2008, but more recently as the worst United States Champion in recent history until thankfully losing the title to the respectable and upper-class Antonio Cesaro. The point is, Santino was a joke before holding the title, a joke during his title reign, and a joke afterwards. He serves as the comedy portion of the show. Yes, having won the U.S. title in the first place was part of the “even an underdog can win” storyline, but the novelty lost its flavor very fast. The United States title was a joke, because of the person holding it.

Zack Ryder was a U.S. titleholder as well, but he was believable as champion. Until a very disasterous storyline took effect where e was essentially crippled, cheated on by his girlfriend, and then while crippled was made to defend (and lose) the title to a healthy Jack Swagger.

So now the United States Championship is a respected championship once more, being held by the likes of Cesaro, Kingston and now Ambrose, while the Intercontinental Championship is now the equivalent of the European Championship? Then put the title on The Great Khali for all I care. If a guy like Wade Barrett has the title, then the titleholder should dictate the terms for the belt. Give it to Santino, and make it the Comedy Championship. When a guy like Barrett has it, take it seriously. Cesaro as U.S. champ made the title serious, so why not Barrett? Why is he a losing joke?

Unless a storyline will develop, then I got nothing. For whatever reason, Wade Barrett is the new Jim Powers. Once a big star, now fodder for others. The IC title, seems to mean nothing.

Oh, so onto the rest of the week. WWE is getting better at recycling. Recycling is a good thing, but sometimes too much becomes a bad thing.

Cody Rhodes as a weird Ravishing Rick Rude = A strange but entertainingly good thing.

CM Punk walking off Raw in a similar fashion to the Shawn Michaels “I lost my smile” gimmick = Debatable.

Damien Sandow as the modern-day Genius = Good thing.

Triple H collapsing during a match with Curtis Axel just like Shawn Michaels collapsing in a match with Owen Hart = Bad Thing.

Raw closed with Triple H clearly out of breath and in dire need of an inhaler during his match with Curtis Axel (formerly Michael McGillicutty or formerly Joe Hennig). Had I been in attendance, I would have gladly allowed The Game to take, use, and subsequently keep my inhaler. This gets over one or both of the following points: Triple H is old and needs to retire, or fighting Brock Lesnar can induce an asthma attack. The truth is irrelevant, because Axel just stood there like a nobody as camera and attention focused on the wheezing Helmsley. Hopefully, the easily manipulated minds of wrestling fans will forget the incident ever happened, and the next time Axel will compete, will be in a headlining match and attention will be directed to where it should, on him.

Where-oh-where is CM Punk? Likely rehabbing an injury. Leave him be. We want him 100% when he returns. Do not rush Punk, get healthy first, entertain second.

SmackDown was a show for the aged. This is not a typo. No idea the purpose for any matches which took place, except to once again tease a break-up of Team Hell No (because that is what happens when you lose titles in WWE, you get split up), and what seems to be the new team of Orton and Sheamus who might be next in line for the Tag Team Championships. I guess we all forgot Bryan and Kane still get a rematch, and the other established teams The Colons, The Usos, The Quebecers, The Prime Time Players, The Pop-Break Duders (Dworkis & Bodkin with Manager Tammy Lynn Sytch… in our dreams… well, mine. Minus Bodkin. I do not need that image. Great. Now I do. My eyes. Hurt. Pain. Help.) and Team Rhodes Scholars.

With this disturbing portrayal of how a column comes to a grinding halt, I leave you all in wonder and disbelief, hoping for a bright future and a better tomorrow… for Wade Barrett.