Remember last week when I said that Scandal got its mojo back? Well, as it turns out, I couldn’t have even begun to realize how true that was. I mean, did you watch this episode? It was INTENSE. When the first commercial break hit around ten minutes in, I suddenly realized I hadn’t been breathing since the episode started. This show has always been something else. And this episode was just what we needed to make us go crazy during the winter hiatus, slowly counting down the days until the last week in February when our dearest cult leader Olivia Pope will return to our TV screens once more.
That’s right — they’re making us wait a whole THREE MONTHS for Scandal to return. I honestly might be in a psych ward by then. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll let me do photo recaps from looney bin. But just in case they don’t — Here is my recap of “A Door Marked Exit,” an all too fitting title for a beyond-words-terrific mid-season finale.
So as we already know, Sally killed her husband. But this episode kicked off dialing back, showing us the moments leading up to the stabbing. And as I already mentioned, it was one of the most intense things I’ve ever seen. Most importantly, it was some of the best video editing I’ve ever seen in my life, TV or film. It was just a masterpiece of a scene.
More importantly, she called Cyrus for help. And she kept murmuring how the Devil got into her like a crazy person. In some more excellent editing, Cyrus went through everything in his head that lead to this point and concluded that HE IS THE DEVIL. But seriously, I don’t think he’s the Devil or anything, but there is a clear and direct path that leads from things he did to this murder happening. And I’m sorry but this asshole kinda deserves his guilt trip. You made your bed, now lie in it. LIE IN IT.
I really hope real politics aren’t exactly like this cause this shit is fucked up!
Meanwhile, Quinn was basically losing her mind. Her plan to get the incriminating tape back from Dad didn’t work out, and at this point she just didn’t know what to do. So she ripped out her own tracker (which we already learned from The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is very painful and bloody) and flushed it down the toilet. And then had lots of sex with Charlie. Cause… I guess there was nothing better to do? I dunno.
And the president totes tricked Dad into a cell by pretending to have information about Mom! This was really cool because… nobody tricks Dad. You go, Fitz! You actually did something right for once.
That’s an actual David Rosen quote. Just FYI. #AbbyAndDavid4Eva
So the brilliant plan involved ^this doctor declaring that this guy (who btw was stabbed like 12 times! Seriously, Sally snapped like woah.) died of a heart attack. Nothing like a little Vice Presidential grief to keep a doctor from actually doing his job. And this is still Cyrus doing bad things. I mean, it’s true, Sally called him for help. But he’s helping her with the intent that she will feel indebted to stay behind Fitz as VP instead of running off and running for President on her own.
And that’s how Cyrus finally snapped. He realized just how good he is at this. He’s the DEVIL. Haha they honestly overused him calling himself the devil a little in this episode, but it’s admittedly nice to see him crack. I wonder if he’ll ever be remorseful…
Oh man, did I love this scene. Fitz tried to get all up in Dad’s face, tried to intimidate him. And Dad got REAL scary and SCREAMED his head off at Fitz about how he’s not a man, he’s a boy. He’s had this cushy life and he gets everything he wants. He doesn’t even really love Olivia, just the idea of what would come from a life with her. It was basically everything I feel about Fitz, except louder and scarier and better articulated. #MonologueOfTheWeek
Mellie went to finish the job that Cyrus started, interrupting Sally’s meeting with her campaign manager to let her know that her and Fitz are there for Sally. I feel like at this point, everyone must know how manipulative Mellie is, but she’s so damn good at it and she’s always so pretty and her hair is always so perfect, that they just allow it to happen anyway.
Can we take a minute here to talk about how amazing of an actress Bellamy Young is? Like, have you seen her in interviews? She’s so perky and bouncy and kind of all over the place. Yet as Mellie she’s so poised, calm, and pristine. Basically what I’m trying to tell you is that I’m in love with her. Okay?? Okay.
Okay, now for some of the meat of the episode. While all other 500 things have been going on (gah, the layers. This show!), Abby, Harrison, and Olivia have been gathering information about Mom, trying to figure out why Dad locked her up for all that time. The conclusion is that Mom is a very bad woman. She sold government secrets and had little remorse for killing people, setting Dad up to kill 300 innocent people by telling him there was a bomb on the plane. He figured out he was set up eventually because it made no sense for Mom to be on the plane with the bomb.
This was such a GAME CHANGER. I mean, I definitely thought Dad was the villain this season. But it turns out Mom is? That’s crazy!
I feel bad for Quinn, you guys. She’s been through so much. And I don’t get why Huck is being so mean to her. I mean, I get it that she betrayed him. But he did tell her he loves her last week. Granted, he did it in the creepiest way possible and while about to pull her teeth out. But this time he acted like he doesn’t care about her at all, which was kind of off to me.
She doesn’t even know what to do with herself anymore. The person she felt closest to literally just told her that he would gladly peel her skin from her body, and her new boyfriend tricked her into an indebted spy life. And she has SO MUCH estrogen. I know, because I’m a woman, too.
Quinn might actually be the most exciting character on the show right now. I never know what that girl is thinking or about to do. And I always NEED to find out. I’m so curious as to where this season is taking her.
I’m not gonna lie — despite my calling Fitz a petulant manchild and completely condoning the scary speech Dad gave him earlier, there is something magnetic about Fitz/Olivia. They have this raw, amazingly sensual chemistry that is off the charts. But I’m also Jake/Olivia. Jake is better for her. And yeah, maybe I’m ridiculously obsessed with Scott Foley and have seen everything he’s ever been in and would like to murder his wife and replace her. Maybe. So I rather enjoyed this goodbye kiss Jake planted on Olivia… Until I realized that’s what it was.
Jake: Goodbye, Olivia.
Me (Yelling at TV): WHAT? WHAT??? No. Nonono. NO. Scott Foley you are not leaving this show, you are NOT!
But he gave her a whole speech. I cried, sloppy tears of Scott Foley loss. This was truly a travesty.
(Side note: Do I use the word travesty too easily? Hahaha, what a silly questions. Of course I don’t.)
So just when we thought Sally was actually getting away with the murder of her hubby, this cool Asian chick who developed the code for the NSA’s cell phone listening software showed up in David’s office and was like BOOM. Here’s some evidence!
NSA secret cell phone recordings can’t possibly be admissible in a court of law though… can they??
I’m not really sure because I don’t watch Law and Order, although I have watched a lot of shows with characters who watch a lot of Law and Order, and those characters have taught me a TON about the American court system. So I’m gonna say no go. But David will be on a witch hunt for real evidence now, cause that’s who David is. I’m just glad he won’t be up against Abby this time. I really like them together. Especially when he says things like, “I’ve put parts of my body inside parts of your body.”
No, wait. I remember now. I really, really didn’t like that.
YES. SCOTT FOLEY IS NOT LEAVING THE SHOW. THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. He’s the new Command of B613. AHHHH so many things. Okay, okay let’s discuss this.
This means that while Fitz had Dad locked up he was scheming to get Jake to replace him as Command. SO SMART. On another hand, I’m nervous about Jake as Command. We’ve seen that Jake has the capacity to do bad things, but I don’t think he’s a bad guy. But really, what even is the point of B613 if not to do super secret spy bad stuff? I guess we’ll find out. I hope we’ll find out. I hate seeing sexy men I’m in love with be evil. It’s a total TRAVESTY. #WordsICanTotallyUseFreely
Another thing to consider here is that Jake is in love with Olivia, and Olivia wants Quinn to be safe. So I’m assuming Quinn will be off the super secret spy hook now. Which is great. But I have serious doubts that after her last interaction with Huck things are going to be just peachy back at the office.
Also what do you think Dad will be like as just a regular dude? Hahaha now that I say that, he’s clearly going to spend the second half of the season trying to murder Jake and take back over. Oh wait. NO. JAKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEE <3
But seriously. If Jake isn’t evil… What does B613 do??
Seriously. Look how tiny that bed is. That’s gotta be a full size, no? Cyrus looks so uncomfortable. Well, that’s a little because he’s the Devil and they’re on the outs. But it’s ALSO because of the size of the bed, thank you very much. Men of their class with their jobs definitely 100% have a king size bed. Sorry I just found that distracting, okay?
Anyway, Cyrus promised James the job of Press Secretary so James wouldn’t leave him. And James promised to stay, but didn’t promise to still love him. Which is fair, because can you really promise that to someone? Especially if that someone is the self-proclaimed devil? I don’t think you can, ladies and gents.
Ugh. So yeah, then we found out Mom is back in America working on some scheming. She is definitely the villain of the season.
This was another STELLAR episode.
And that’s it until the end of February. It is a cruel, cruel world we live in. Truely, madly, deeply.
It’s a TRAVESTY, I tell you! A travesty!