“Everybody just keep drinking…it’ll be over soon.”
-Sean “Diddy” Combs, 2014 Golden Globes
I know it’s the real “cool” thing to say these days, but the next person who tells me the Golden Globes are just as important as the Oscars, please stop. Enough already. This ceremony is watching celebrities get drunk. It’s a damn reality show.
Here are some of the highlights from the 71st Annual Golden Globes!
–Emma Thompson presents while holding a pair of heels…and a glass of alcohol
–Seth Myers before reading Andy Samberg’s win: “Best Night Ever.” Yeah, real professional, Seth
–Sean Combs and Globe winning composer Alex Ebert reminiscing while on stage.
–Jacqueline Bisset giving the worst awards speech I’ve ever seen in my life.
For the absolute mess that this ceremony was though, they did make some good decisions on the actual awards, so I’ll give them props for that. But, please…stop comparing this to the Academy Awards.
Before we get to the awards, just a few other quick Globe observations…
The Hosts (Tina Fey and Amy Poehler):
Solid job all around, but their opening monologue left a lot to be desired.
Poehler: “A very good evening to everyone here in the room, and to all the women and gay men watching at home.”
Really? Yeah, never heard that joke at an award ceremony. Come on.
Other random observations…
–I’m not one to play E! Fashion Police, but Paula Patton’s dress looked like 10 Gremlins crawled on her back and stomped all over her body.
–People I’d like to see host an award show: Jim Carrey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Melissa McCarthy, Matt Damon.
Okay, enough on the ceremony…onto the awards!
Best Motion Picture – Drama: 12 Years A Slave, Captain Phillips, Gravity, Philomena, Rush
Winner: 12 Years A Slave
Reaction: No surprise here. Didn’t really care for this category, but I’m fine with the pick. Johnny Depp presented this award, and he looked like he didn’t want to be there at all. Maybe he felt The Lone Ranger got snubbed?
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama: Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine), Sandra Bullock (Gravity), Judi Dench (Philomena), Emma Thompson (Saving Mr. Banks), Kate Winslet (Labor Day)
Winner: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Reaction: The most boring race all year. Blanchett will win everything…the end.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama: Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years A Slave), Idris Elba (Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom), Tom Hanks (Captain Phillips), Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club), Robert Redford (All Is Lost)
Winner: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Reaction: AWESOME WIN! A legit upset, but totally deserving. Yeah, he was probably a little tipsy, but a solid speech. Congrats to McConaughey on a great 2013 in general.
Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical: American Hustle, Her, Inside Llewyn Davis, Nebraska, The Wolf of Wall Street
Winner: American Hustle
Reaction: All these movies were deserving, congrats to American Hustle.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical: Amy Adams (American Hustle), Julie Delpy (Before Midnight), Greta Gerwig (Francis Ha), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Enough Said), Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)
Winner: Amy Adams, American Hustle
Reaction: A no-brainer here, and probably my favorite acceptance speech of the night.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical: Christian Bale (American Hustle), Bruce Dern (Nebraska), Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street), Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis), Joaquin Phoenix (Her)
Winner: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Reaction: Classy speech. Succinct. Well said. I hope he wins the Oscar.
Best Animated Feature Film: The Croods, Despicable Me 2, Frozen
Best Foreign Language Film: Blue is the Warmest Color (France), The Great Beauty (Italy), The Hunt (Denmark), The Past (Iran), The Wind Rises (Japan)
Winner: The Great Beauty (Italy)
Reaction: Haven’t seen this, but a really short acceptance speech, so good for them.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role – Motion Picture: Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine), Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle), Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years A Slave), Julia Roberts (August: Osage County), June Squibb (Nebraska)
Winner: Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Reaction: What else can you say about Jennifer Lawrence at this point? She did the whole “I’m nervous, can’t believe I just won” thing, but with her, I actually believe it. Or maybe she’s just that good of an actress, I don’t know. She’s got a legit chance at the Oscar, and while deserving, I think this win was more about the Hollywood Foreign Press.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role – Motion Picture: Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips), Daniel Bruhl (Rush), Bradley Cooper (American Hustle), Michael Fassbender (12 Years A Slave), Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Winner: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Reaction: I felt like the crowd went the most crazy for this win, and deservedly so. Fassbender will give him a run for his money at Oscar time, but Leto is the clear front runner.
Best Director – Motion Picture: Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity), Paul Greengrass (Captain Phillips), Steve McQueen (12 Years A Slave), Alexander Payne (Nebraska), David O. Russell (American Hustle)
Winner: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Reaction: I’m not Gravity’s biggest fan, but I don’t have a problem with Cuaron winning this award. It will be a tight race between him and McQueen come Oscar time.
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture: Spike Jonze (Her), Bob Nelson (Nebraska), Jeff Pope & Steve Coogan (Philomena), John Ridley (12 Years A Slave), Eric Warren Singer & David O. Russell (American Hustle)
Winner: Spike Jonze, Her
Best Original Score – Motion Picture: Alex Ebert (All Is Lost), Alex Heffes (Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom), Steven Price (Gravity), John Williams (The Book Thief), Hans Zimmer (12 Years A Slave)
Winner: Alex Ebert, All Is Lost
Reaction: Not expecting that one, but this was my favorite score out of all the nominees.
Best Original Song – Motion Picture: “Atlas,” Coldplay (The Hunger Games: Catching Fire), “Let It Go,” Kristen Anderson Lopez & Robert Lopez (Frozen), “Ordinary Love,” U2 (Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom), “Please Mr. Kennedy,” Justin Timberlake, Oscar Isaac, Adam Sackler, T-Bone Burnett (Inside Llewyn Davis), “Sweeter Than Fiction,” Taylor Swift (One Chance)
Winner: “Ordinary Love,” U2 (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)
Reaction: Really? This song over Frozen and Inside Llewyn Davis? Ladies and Gentlemen…The Hollywood Foreign Press.