The WWE-ek: WWE…Still Crazy!

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I’m really getting tired of seeing photos of people posting their toy versions of Optimus Prime riding Grimlock. Yeah yeah yeah, we saw in the Transformers 4 teaser, he is riding atop a giant dinosaur, who we all assume to be Grimlock. Since then, my Facebook and Twitter feeds have been clogged with people posting photos with their toys, and of course my friends, most of whom have little knowledge of Transformers, but fully aware I do, have to barrage me with emails or worse, tagging me in these photos saying “Hey look at this!” As if to say, “Hey! You’re a Transformers guy, you MUST be interested in seeing this!”

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No, I am not interested in seeing what may be yet another blasphemous display of complete ruination by Michael Bay.

You know what I’m interested in? A complete Grand Maximus. Or how about a Dai Atlas? That’s what I want.

You know what else I want? Sanity. The world of wrestling as we know it has gone batshit crazy. During the main event of RAW you could clearly hear chants for CM Punk. Clearly. That says something, doesn’t it? We still have yet to have any acknowledgement from WWE Management or from Punk himself as to what on Cybertron happened. Perhaps WWE is keeping this quiet until issues are smoothed out or a resolution is reached. Until it happens, the fans are going to going to continue to fan the flames with internet rumors and wild guessing speculation.

Titus O’Neal made his long-awaited heel turn, giving Darren Young a good thrashing and has since made mincemeat of Zack Ryder. Good job. To be honest, I had expected Young to be the one to go heel as fans seemed to be all over Titus, but a heel turn is just as good to showcase his serious side. Titus is incredible on the microphone, and despite being an early elimination during his run as an NXT competitor, I knew and I believe others knew he would be destined for big things. Titus has the appearance and both in-ring ability and good skills on the mic. Putting him with a guy like Paul Heyman would certainly elevate his stock, a hell of a lot higher than the failed experiment with Curtis Axel. Difference, is Titus can talk on the mic. He has this, sports-player tone to him, like a football player, which I think is something WWE can certainly capitalize on. The best thing about Titus, is his ability to be diverse in character. We have seen serious, we have seen funny, and we have seen his sarcastic side. Remember his run as Rufus “Pancake” Patterson? Freaking hysterical.

Until then, I guess we have to call him Titus O’Heel.

Every week Michael Cole conducts a “serious” interview with Triple H regarding the state of affairs in WWE. This week Cole grilled him about Kane and Randy Orton. Forget Kane, this gimmick is going nowhere. Kane had a chance to be himself but it seems WWE is going back to the drawing board as Kane will soon revert back to the Big Red Monster again. As for Randy Orton, this WWE.com segment only further proved how worthless he is as a champion. Triple H talks about how Orton has no confidence and needs to prove to himself he is worthy of being a champion. Uhm, hello? He IS the WWE Champion! The Game further buries the storyline by comparing Randy Orton to a child who needs to be shown how to run with the big boys. This is terrible in every facet imaginable. This is not the first time Orton has been a main tier champion, yet they act like it is. Orton has beaten the best WWE has to offer, yet he continues to act like a spoiled brat, who never wants to defend the title, and throws a temper tantrum when he feels he has been disrespected. WWE has made a poor choice of character gimmick for Orton, but of course as I have said from the start, they could have told him to “be himself” and that takes care of that.

To end the segment, Triple H “threatens” Michael Cole slightly off-camera, in an effort to spoof real-life events from a couple weeks ago, where Representative Michael Grimm of Staten Island threatened NY1 Reporter Michael Scotto off-camera with some vulgarities and a promise to hurl him off a bridge. Way to go WWE. Way to go.

We learn on this Monday Night RAW, the champ goes one-on-one with John Cena. Whoopie. That will surely drive up ratings… for another channel. Plus, Betty White is guest host.

Here comes more disaster. They finally introduce NXT Diva, Emma, to the WWE Universe by way of Santino picking someone from the crowd to compete in a dance contest. She can’t dance for crap, which was probably the point, but this is no way to garner any interest from the fans. Bad move WWE. If she’s talented, then let her show why she’s talented. I do wonder why they don’t bring Paige up. She can be a Diva-ass-kicker.

Speaking of ass-kicking, the Steel Cage match between The Rhodes and The New Age Outlaws? The NAO certainly still has it, and I wonder how far into next month Cody knocked himself after his incredible top-of-the-cage moonsault. The match was incredible, I truly hope this is not the end of The Rhodes Brothers, they make a great team. I am wondering if this means the Usos will finally get their long long long overdue shot at the WWE Tag Team Championships. One duo who probably will not, The Real Americans. Seems Jack Swagger is on the outs with Zeb Colter favoring the man who earned a spot in the Elimination Chamber, Antonio Cesaro. I hope Swagger does not split off, it may not bode well for his career.

Alberto del Rio and Batista have a confrontation. Blah, Blah. They’ll have a match at Chamber. Del Rio must really enjoy having gone from World Champion to jobber fodder.

The feud between The Wyatts and The Shield is picking up, and it looks like the big clash is headed for Elimination Chamber. Both squads looks strong, laying waste to their random assortment of opponents in six-man tag action. Poor Dolph Ziggler. More tension between Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns while Seth Rollins tries to be peacemaker. The post-match promos by opposing teams are very well done and since all six involved are great promo cutters, it serves to fuel the hype for this big clash of the stables. To be honest, I would have loved to see this feud go all the way to WrestleMania 30, but it does seem WWE wants John Cena to put over Bray Wyatt. No complaints there. It is curious though, it is WrestleMania 30, and for the past few years Cena has always been in the concluding main event title match, yet this year WWE appears to not continue the trend. Perhaps John Cena is no longer their poster boy?

Poster boy? Daniel Bryan. Yes. He gets a pounding on by Kane at the conclusion of RAW. Bryan is going to face off against Kane at some point, and I hope to Primus it is not at WrestleMania 30.

Could you imagine? If the final match is Batista vs. Orton? The crowd will do nothing but boo, or just get up and leave? I really wonder what is up the sleeve of WWE Creative right now. Vince is not stupid. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are the guys the WWE fans want to see. Put them in a match with each other! Even better, make it a triple threat with the Undertaker! YEAH! Let’s get crazy! Because we all know, Ryback vs. Goldberg is a GREAT idea… #facepalm

Related Articles:

Review: Monday Night RAW – February 3, 2014 (Bill Bodkin)

The WWE-ek: The Punk and Bryan Fall-Out (Michael Dworkis)

Review: Elimination Chamber 2013 (Michael Dworkis)

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