SAME WARNING AS MY PREMIERE AND MID-SEASON REVIEW: READ THIS REVIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS FROM HOUSE OF CARDS SEASON 2. IF YOU DID NOT SEE SEASON 2 YET, TURN ON YOUR TV, LOG IN TO NETFLIX, AND WATCH!! CLOSE THIS REVIEW AND DO IT RIGHT NOW.
Welp, everyone, the inevitable happened: Frank Underwood is now the President of the television United States of America. Let’s be honest here, we all saw it coming. Underwood is a ruthless force to be reckoned with no matter what role he has in government. But the big questions are: What will happen now that Underwood is president? Will his discrepancies be brought to light by the world’s worst journalists (I’m looking at you Lucas and Janine)? Will the USA make amends with the Chinese? Who is Frank’s next kill?
These are all good questions, but we’ll save them for Season 3. In the meantime, let’s dive right in to the crazy unpredictable shit that happened in the last few episodes of Season 2. Unsurprisingly, there’s a lot of it.
THE MEECHUM THREESOME
Okay, I had to bring this up first, because it’s officially the most uncomfortable I’ve ever felt watching television. Seriously, what was that? I mean, I have nothing against threesomes, and I get that it was a part of the Underwoods plan to keep Meechum in check, but it was just so strange. I would have been less uncomfortable if Frank was also drunk (he had one glass of bourbon which most likely did nothing to his blood alcohol content) and if they didn’t just pretend like nothing ever happened for the rest of the season. If Zoe’s subway death didn’t happen, this would be the most shocking scene from Season 2.
CREEPY DOUG FINDS HIMSELF BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE
Rachel finally had enough of Creepy Doug and knocked him dead with a rock. Am I a little relieved? Yes. I felt bad for Rachel and Doug was starting to get really creepy. Even when he was talking to the Xander Feng, Frank, or Seth I was getting wigged out. I won’t miss him in Season 3.
CLAIRE’S INNOCENT VICTIM
The Underwood’s latest victim, Meghan, didn’t die physically, but she sure as hell did emotionally. Poor girl. I really like Claire as a character but Meghan’s life spiraling downward was hard to watch. I’m glad Claire at least showed some remorse for that. Her feeling no sympathy would have been inexcusable.
Someone I forgot to mention in my mid-season recap was Gavin Orsay, the creepy tech terrorist guru who the USA uses to arrest Lucas. Now Gavin and his little guinea pig Cashew are making some big waves, waves that somewhat caused the death of Doug. Will Creepy Orsay and his rodent interfere in Frank’s presidency? I think so, though I hope my prediction is wrong. There are other villains out there I’d rather see take on Frank. If he does wind up attempting to expose Frank, he’ll definitely be the first and next one gone next season.
JACKIE, REMY, AND THE WHIP
I still wish I was writing RIP Remy, but I won’t be surprised if Frank kills him in Season 3. He serves no purpose. At least I can say his relationship with Jackie is done. She deserves so much better than him.
I think I covered all the big moments. Were you as uncomfortable with the Meechum Threesome as I was? What do you think will happen in Season 3? I have been living in no-spoiler land for too long and I’m dying to know your thoughts!