Film Review: Death Spa

DEATH-SPA_CROP

Previously difficult to find film, Death Spa, has just been released on DVD and Blu-ray. Movie collectors everywhere rejoice! Thanks to Gorgon Video, responsible for the Faces of Death films, we can all nerd out over quality 80’s cheese horror.

Michael (William Bumiller) runs Starbody Health Spa where his brother in law works as the computer programmer for the machines. His wife committed suicide and now her ghost haunts the gym, turning everything , including showers, saunas and even a blender, into weapons. The computers are being blamed for the deaths but Michael knows it’s his wife causing the mischief. Michael has to figure out how to stop the deaths before things get worse and his spa is shut down.

machinesmash

As you can imagine, the film is full of bad acting, bad lines, big hair, tacky outfits and hairy men in short shorts. And what would be an 80’s horror film without dancing and bare breasts? All contribute largely to the stupidity of this awesome movie.

There is a long lull of speculation and boring chatter between the few deaths this film initially provides but the end is full of blood and deaths themselves are pretty damn hilarious. I don’t understand how some of them worked exactly, but they were fun.
How exactly does a weight machine, that requires you to move the parts, create a force so strong that it would break ribs? The guy just didn’t have to push and nothing would happen. I suppose it is just as plausible as an unplugged blender killing someone by eating up their hand or frozen fish eating someone’s throat out.

While the deaths were entertaining, my favorite part of the whole film is the awkward foreplay scene where Michael’s girlfriend Laura (Brenda Bakke) has bandages over her eyes from being injured in the sauna and it seems like Michael is getting off on her injuries. I also got a good laugh over the gift her gave her- a white blouse with huge shoulder pads. There’s nothing sexier than massive shoulders, except perhaps pairing them with blindness.

Random fact: Death Spa was Merrick Butrick’s last film, having died in 1989 of AIDS. You may remember him as Richie from Fright Night Part 2, Dr. David Marcus from Star Trek or Johnny Slash in Square Pegs.

awkwardforeplay

Death Spa was also Karyn Parson’s (Fresh Prince of Bel Air) first film.

While Death Spa isn’t the greatest film in the whole world, it, like Chopping Mall, is just ridiculous enough for any collector to NEED to own. The ending, itself, makes the entire film worth it. Think Carrie meets Final Destination.

If that isn’t enough for you, I’ll raise you Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead, The Devils Rejects).

If that STILL isn’t enough for you, get out of here because you appreciate nothing!

Go buy Death Spa on Blu-ray now.

starbody health spa

Related Articles:

Review: Dan Curtis’ Dracula (Ann Hale)

Review: Contracted (Ann Hale)

Review: Haunter (Ann Hale)

Just a giant nerd in love with horror, 80’s action flicks, Star Wars and Harry Potter. Hit me up on Twitter or Instagram @scarletjupiter to talk horror or just to browse the horror collection.