No, let’s not. Let’s talk about Fergal “Prince” Devitt.
Haha, his name is Fergal. But not “ha ha” is his incredible arsenal of wrestling ability. Have you seen this guy? Go on YouTube and you will not be disappointed. Seems to be a real thing, WWE is snatching up the top tier indy talent all over the world and sending them to the NXT training camp. It is a joke, do they need to go to NXT? No, but yes. No, because Devitt and KENTA already know how to compete, but they do not know how it works in a WWE ring for a WWE production. That is where the training will be. More to come on Price Devitt this week and the not-so-subtle announcement SpikeTV is canceling TNA Impact Wrestling. So, wow, a big week in sports-entertainment indeed.
Moving onto tonight!
John Cena starts off cutting an extremely intense promo which is interrupted by The Rabbi of Wrestling himself, Paul Heyman. You can’t even hear him introduce himself, the live crowd in Houston, Texas is losing their minds. Brock Lesnar owes his career to Paul Heyman. Once again, Heyman cuts an eloquent promo, almost an abbreviated version of last week’s glorious gospel. Cena, to his credit, fires back with might have been the best promo in months. Cena did not resort to his usual hype the crowd “I love WWE” shtick, but actually gave the perception of speaking his mind and speaking how he truly feels about wrestling against Lesnar. What got even more interesting, is how Cesaro interrupts, hugging a surprised Paul Heyman. Cesaro informing us all, although he and Heyman are no longer partners, he will defend Heyman any day of the week. Cesaro taunts Cena, accusing him of being nothing more than a billboard with Kmart sneakers and fools people into thinking he can wrestle, because he can’t. Cena snaps and the impromptu match is on.
Cesaro mauls Cena, and does outclass Cena in the wrestling department. This was the match for Cesaro. You know what I am talking about. We have the mid-card guy, not sure where he is going, and then gets a match with the top star in WWE. Cesaro pulled out everything in his arsenal. The over-the-top-rope super-duper-plex. Yes, that is what I call it. Cesaro hit some massive slams and even took Cena around with the Big Swing. Cena picked up the win after an Attitude Adjustment off the top rope. The match was incredible. Cesaro was the MVP for sure, and Cena, while winning, put on a hell of a show himself. Kudos to both.
Backstage: Stephanie does not want to confront Brie Bella, while Triple H consoles her. Randy Orton interrupts, and demands a title shot against Cena. The Game is not in the mood, tells Orton to focus on Roman Reigns instead. Orton is displeased, whines, and says he doesn’t like him anymore.
In the ring, Triple H trolls the live crowd while Stephanie is in tears. After the COO finished ripping into the people who pay for tickets, they invite Brie to the ring to settle things so Steph does not have to go back to jail. Instead, Chris Jericho arrives to mock the situation, even bringing back his ten-year-old jab originally reserved for Steph, being a filthy, disgusting, brutal, bottom-feeding, trash bag ho. The Game changes the tune to Bray Wyatt, and informs Jericho he gets another match with the cult leader at SummerSlam, while tonight, his opponent is the guy who just waffles Jericho with his briefcase, Seth Rollins. Solid segment, WWE is on a roll tonight.
The trio of Dolph Ziggler and The Usos defeat the unit of The Miz, Ryback, and Curtis Axel. Interesting during the match, the snazzy suited Xavier Woods with Kofi Kingston and Big E. Langston watch from backstage, but after commercial, they are now at ringside. Kinda wondering why Ryback has a big heart on his ring gear. Ziggler scores the Zig Zag on Ryback for the win, but Miz celebrates since his face remains unscarred. I wonder if at some point, they regurgitate Cody Rhodes’ old gimmick where he got punched in the face and then wore a mask and handed out paper bags. Woods and his crew stood by and watched, so we are still unclear as to what their intentions are, but I imagine inevitably it will be a collective heel-turn, a first for Kofi Kingston.
Well, I am finally sold on Bo Dallas, just in time for him to get his first loss in WWE, but it is to R-Truth in a two minute nothing, where Truth rolls him up after a pre-emptive victory lap around the ring. Dallas loses his marbles and plants Truth with a double-underhook DDT, shades of Mick Foley. JBL laments “the streak is dead.”
Rusev in the ring with Lana, and I really am beginning to dislike her now saying “shut… up!” as an opener to her promo. It is not horrible, because she then goes into another well worded promo putting down the United States, and of course, puts over Vladimir Koslo… I mean, Putin. She then degrades the American flag and puts over the Russian colors. She calls Obama a puppet. Wow. But just to hurt both sides, she also takes a shot at George W. Bush. Interrupting to a huge ovation is Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger. Sounds like Colter calls her a Bolshevik twithead. Colter cuts a beautiful, incredible promo, and I have to say, probably a better promo than any politician. He talks about what it means to be an American, the soliders who serve and protect our country… Just incredible folks. Wow. “We the People” chants echoed. Swagger and Rusev brawl, and the Real American emerges on top.
This has been a very solid show tonight. Very solid. One of the best of the summer.
Damien Sandow comes out in a NASA space suit. Michael Cole says “Houston, we have a problem” and three seconds later, Sandow says the same thing. Cole, you idiot. He cuts a funny promo, which is then interrupted by the Exotic Express. I thought Adam Rose was relegated to promoting fast food. I gotta say, Sandow dressing up as a spaceman just so he could say “Houston, we have a problem” because they are live in Houston is dedication. Rose picks up the fast win, could not tell you how, because I blinked.
We were supposed to get Roman Reigns vs. Kane, except Randy Orton rushes down to join the fight. After a short brawl, Reigns blasts Orton in the face with the Superman Punch, but it allows Kane to plant the former Shield member with a big Chokeslam. The next five minutes are spent with Orton beating up Reigns, with an RKO through the announce table as the exclamation mark. Meh.
The show slightly slants towards the filler side as Layla and Summer Rae accompany Diego to the ring for his match with Fandango. El Torito is having a little too much fun. Diego wins following a fancy flip-over rollup. Fandango gets gored by the little bull.
Backstage: Steph looks for Brie, but finds Nikki. The busty Bella tells Steph how it’s unusual for someone like her to eat a plate of crap, but wonders how she likes it. Oh snap!
Natalya and Naomi defeat Cameron and Alicia Fox. Decent match, Cameron needs to go away.
Fantastic backstage segment with Goldust and Stardust. They are getting closer to finding the Cosmic Key, and Starry believes the answer lies within Wolf-359. It’s a Star Trek reference in case you didn’t get it. The Rhodes boys are hysterical, and my wife thinks I ought to be committed. I just worry this might turn into some sort of hype for Guardians of the Galaxy or something of that sort.
Chris Jericho and Seth Rollins picked up the pace with a fantastic bout. Fast paced, even, and boy did Seth Rollins get to flex his arsenal on Y2J, who also put Rollins through the ringer. Back and forth, no clear dominator, until Rollins jumped off the top and right into a smash hit of a Codebreaker. Before Y2J could gain the win, the familiar interruption of The Wyatts rang out, and all three family members appeared when the lights came on to administer a brutal beatdown which the rock star was unable to withstand.
Stephanie McMahon comes out to the ring, crying, saying how her kids are teased in camp and waaah waaaah waaaah. Brie Bella comes out from the crowd to confront Steph and goes right to drop the b**** word. Steph demands Brie drop “the charges” against her. Brie is defiant, and we start to see Steph lose the crying act and revert back to her “business” mode, offering incentives, except Brie has a demand of her own, to be rehired. Steph balks, but Brie threatens again and Steph concedes. Brie also asks for a match at SummerSlam, and Steph agrees without asking against who. Oops. Brie wants to face Steph. Ha Ha! Did not see this coming! They go back and forth, and Brie each time says “see you in court.” Steph cries again, and this segment had gone beyond the long point. Oh hell… this is the main event. It’s 11pm. Crap in a hat. Stephanie slaps the crap out of Brie and a catfight ensues. Jamie Noble, Fit Finlay, Joey Mercury and Dean Malenko are sent down by Triple H to break this up. So let’s see, referees break up big brawls, and wrestling legends break up catfights. Got it. The show concludes with, I think, are chants of “Jamie Noble” or maybe “this is awful” or perhaps “this is awesome” but I am seriously doubting the latter.
So. Wow. RAW started off really strong, but tapered off by the third hour. Honestly, I felt like the hours got mixed up, hour three should have been hour two. Ah well, not really terrible. All in all a very solid show and huge build for SummerSlam. I approve.
Coming up this week, the signing of Prince Devitt and the possible demise of TNA Impact.