Bold Box Office Predictions: October 23-25, 2015
Notable Openings This Weekend: The Last Witch Hunter, Steve Jobs, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, Jem and the Holograms, Rock the Kasbah.
I’m sorry, is this a January weekend? Are you serious with this garbage? There’s a lot opening, but it all looks horrendous, aside from Steve Jobs. It’s like in Fantasy Football when someone tries to offer you four terrible players for one great one. I don’t want the terrible players! There are way too many wide releases this weekend, so we need to end the introduction right now. Let’s start with the only good offering.
Steve Jobs finally opens nationwide after a couple strong showings in limited release. This movie advertises itself. Big name director, big name screenwriter, talented cast, a biopic everyone can latch onto and Oscar potential all over the place. Even though it’s still below 2,500 screens, this has real potential to over perform. The only thing hurting it as that Ashton Kutcher disaster that opened a while back. There’s no association between the two other than subject matter, but the bad taste of another recent Jobs movie might scare some away. This should have been released later in the year to capitalize on Oscar buzz, but it’s still in a strong position.
When Vin Diesel isn’t in a Fast and Furious movie, they don’t open great. I don’t count Guardians of the Galaxy, in which he did a voiceover. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t the reason that movie blew up. The Last Witch Hunter looks absolutely atrocious. Every time I see the trailer I get a Legend of Hercules boredom vibe (shudder). I don’t like to speak ill of a movie I haven’t seen, but I’m sorry, I wouldn’t shed a tear if this bombed. Vin Diesel looks like a cool guy to hang out with, but can we please stop pretending this guy is a talented actor? Great. The guy loves comic books. Whoopty-doo. Cut me a break.
If you’re still that guy who gets all excited about Paranormal Activity and the allure of a found footage movie, I can’t help you. Leave me alone. These movies have benefited from the low production costs since the beginning. Please let this be the one that finally catches up to them. YOU’RE BEING SWINDLED! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, STOP! YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO GET ANSWERS! STOP GOING!
We’ve still got two other films to discuss, for the love of Moses! These next two are the only newbies that are doubtful to make the top five though. I love Bill Murray. You love Bill Murray. We all love Bill Murray. But just like St. Vincent last year, why does Murray keep picking these mediocre forgettable comedies? This looks like standard fare, and Murray is so much better than this.
And finally, it’s Jem and the Holograms. I guess this was a big ’80s cartoon? I don’t know. From everything I gather it has nothing to do with the original cartoon. This has barely been marketed and seems destined for a one and done weekend of people even mentioning it. What else do you want me to say about this? It’s Jem and the Holograms.
HOW WILL IT ALL BREAK DOWN…
This is between The Last Witch Hunter and Steve Jobs. Even though The Last Witch Hunter opens in a significantly greater number of theaters, I’m going to be bold and have faith in America. The Last Witch Hunter will flop, and ticket sales will go to the smarter film. Come on, America! Make me proud! We can do this!
1. Steve Jobs — $18.5 Million
2. The Last Witch Hunter — $16 Million
3. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension — $12.5 Million
4. Goosebumps — $12 Million
5. The Martian — $11.5 Million
Daniel Cohen is the Film Editor for Pop-Break. Aside from reviews, Daniel does a weekly box office predictions column, and also contributes monthly Top Tens and Op-Ed’s on all things film. Daniel is a graduate of Bates College with a degree in English, and also studied Screenwriting at UCLA. He can also be read on www.movieshenanigans.com. His movie crush is Jessica Rabbit. Follow him on Twitter @dcohenwriter.