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‘THE NOT SO GREAT ESCAPE’ PLOT:

Ramona (Soni Nicole Bringas) isn’t too happy about her new school, so Jackson (Michael Campion) tries to break her out, leading to a parenting riff between D.J. (Candace Cameron Bure) and Kimmy (Andrea Barber).

This was the first Fuller House with no classic cameos, and it was easily the worst episode thus far. That’s alarming. Yeah, this was a rough one. It was also another example of the show having no clue what it wants to be. After the previous episode showed us the three gals partying it up at a night club, this one went super family friendly. That’s right, we get the exciting storyline of Max (Elias Harger) picking out a new puppy! O…M…F…G. In fact, let’s start there.

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I’ve been very critical of this character from the get go. Nothing against the actor, but could the writers give a little more of an effort here? I understand his role is to be the cute, lovable kid, but one of his lines in this episode was “I said doggie doodie.” I’ve certainly been more forgiving of this show than other critics, but what the hell am I supposed to do with lines like that? Cut me a break, here. Not only was this episode filled with hackneyed lines, it degraded itself to the lowest common denominator with cheap gags and skunk humor. I don’t want to be the guy who craps all over Full House, but the writers are leaving me no choice. For crying out loud, give me something to work with!

Everything fells flat. There was a recurring bit where Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) got annoyed at Tommy for constantly looking up at the ceiling. It wasn’t funny. She also used baby Tommy to pick up a guy at the café. A time honored premise that can certainly work, but it was like this part of the script was written on a scribbled out napkin.

Full House Recycled Storyline Alert! Stephanie used a baby to pick up a date. Jesse did the same thing with Michelle in season one, and it was also a lot funnier.

They tried to build a brother/sister relationship between Kimmy’s daughter, Ramona, and Jackson, but it was undersold. The young actors did alright, but there wasn’t much written, much like everything else. The one saving grace of this episode was the parenting split between D.J. and Kimmy. This wasn’t half bad, and was built off of what we already know about these characters.

This was the first opportunity not to rely on a classic character, and they failed miserably. After seeing this episode, I’m not going to lie and pretend like I’m not terrified at the prospect of nine more episodes of Fuller House. This was an all time low in lazy comedy writing. The puppy storyline was so bad, I may never want to look at a puppy again. I went there.

Rating: 3 “Cut it Outs!” out of 10

Daniel Cohen is the hard-boiled Film Editor for the Pop Break. Besides reviews, Daniel writes box office predictions, Gotham reviews and Oscar coverage. He can also be found on the Breakcast. If Daniel was sprayed by Scarecrow's fear toxin, it would be watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on a non-stop loop.