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WWE Monday Night RAW is Talk

RAW features a ton of anti-smoking commercials. A ton.

RAW kicks off with Mick Foley. We know what’s coming. He sheepishly reads off some flashcards. He then loses his mind. Yay! Foley! We get crazy Foley! Foley’s tantrum is interrupted by Stephanie McMahon who predictably fires him. Very loud CM Punk chants are heard.

Sami Zayn comes out to defend Foley, because that will be a great idea. Zayn, as uber-underdog is for some reason compared to Foley, for Steph, calling him similarly stupid, as Samoa Joe arrives to fight. Joe defeats Zayn in a good match. I was happy. Sadly Zayn loses, but at least looks good doing it.

Backstage: Foley jokingly says what Zayn did was stupid, but still noble. Zayn and Foley share an embrace, as Foley begins his walk out of the arena. He stops by Cesaro and Sheamus who thank him and in turn Foley offers praise. He next stop is with Bayley who hugs him, however this teary-eyed moment is ruined forever by Triple H who tells them to “Have A Nice Day.”

Weird possible pre-taped segment, the doctor working on Seth Rollins says the knee has been re-aggravated and “no doctor in America” will clear him. However, he knows Rollins is determined, so if he does show up at Mania, he expects to see him in the hospital right after.

Charlotte defeats Dana Brooke

I didn’t expect the outcome to be any different. Brooke is so sloppy and stale. Charlotte gets the MVP award for selling the unsellable.

Backstage: Stephanie belittles Bayley, informing her of a match against Nia Jax. Should Jax win, the WWE Women’s Championship match at WrestleMania becomes a Fatal-Four Way. Oh, and it is no disqualification.

In a fantastic segment, Chris Jericho is in prime shape as he does a special edition of the Highlight Reel, and busts out some fantastic verbal ballet as he shows us photos of a 12-year-old Kevin Owens and some private twitter conversations. Jericho is just so good here. I would love to cover the whole promo, but words would do no justice. Go find it on YouTube or WWE.com. The segment concludes with Samoa Joe distracting Jericho, allowing Owens to blindside, powerbomb, and destroy The List. Lots of boos.

The Brian Kendrick defeats TJ Perkins

Not a bad match. Weird finish with Perkins almost ref-bumping, Kendrick using it to hit Sliced Bread #2 for the win. Post match, Kendrick reveals Akira Tozawa is stuck in Japan.  Because Kendrick stole his passport from the locker room. But… how did Tozawa GET TO JAPAN if he DIDN’T HAVE HIS PASSPORT!?!?

Backstage: Roman Reigns tells us he imagines the Undertaker lying on his back. Uhhh… I don’t think that came out right.

Nia Jax defeats Bayley

Sadly, the crowd is distracted by morons. First an idiot fan gets ejected, then some unintelligible crowd chants, followed by the Wave, and then a chant of “We Are Awesome.” This was a good match, and for once… oh come on, CM Punk chants again!?!? Nia Jax wins after a good match. I was about to say, I am glad I was at home to watch and not distracted by idiocy.  This means the WWE RAW Women’s Championship match at WrestleMania is now a Fatal-Four Way.

For Women’s History Month, they highlight Mae Young.

Triple H and Michael Cole have an in-ring interview. Triple H really plays to the internet crowd and ridicules the loud fans. Tons of CM Punk chants which he doesn’t even acknowledge. He plays to the crowd repetition of baiting them to want to see Rollins get injured over and over again. In short, Triple H offers a non-sanctioned contract for next week. Towards the end he repeats himself, trying to get a reaction from the crowd, but they are confused, because they want Rollins to face Triple H, but wait… they shouldn’t be cheering what The Game says. They are confused, crowd dies, and this segment ends with more of a whimper than a bang.

Sheamus and Cesaro defeat Gallows, Anderson, Enzo, and Big Cass

So this was supposed to be a 4-on-2 handicap match, Stephanie punishing Cesaro and Sheamus for being pro-Foley. Things go awry fairly quickly when Anderson and Gallows take out their own teammates. This leads to Anderson eating a team-assisted Brough Kick and match over.

Following the loss, Enzo and Cass punish the current Tag Team Champions.

Is it just me, or are the matches shorter than all the promos?

New Day cuts a funny WrestleMania hype promo.

Austin Aries defeats Tony Nese

Dare I say, second best match of the night after Joe vs. Zayn. Aries and Nese made this one good, and that finish, damn.

Post match Neville tries to intimidate A-Double, but fails.

Another bad-ass Emma promo. Followed by video package of the Brock/Goldberg feud.

Main Event: Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Well, not sure if this was intended, but Roman Reigns appears to be in heel mode. Fans seem to think so, as chants of “let’s go Strowman” and “Thank you Strowman” dominate the match. Surprising, no CM Punk chants here. Strowman gets the pops, until Reigns appears to have Strowman ready for a spear, until, thank the dark lord, the gong hits, and The Undertaker is in the ring. Surprisingly, he chokeslams Strowman, but the look of “oh hell” is easily seen, and Taker turns right into a Spear from Reigns. However, The Deadman rises and with a hand-motion, promises revenge. At least it’s what we want to see.

Overall, a strange RAW. Matches weren’t horrible, just short. But I get it, WrestleMania is two weeks away and they have to get in as much drama and hype as possible.

Honestly, the only match I care for is Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens.

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