Written by Logan J. Fowler and Justin Matchick
Release Date: June 23rd, 2017
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Hopkins (the voices of) Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, John Goodman
Director: Michael Bay (Transformers 1-4, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor)
Pre-Trailer Thoughts: I’m someone who actually enjoyed the first and third Transformers movies. I hated Revenge of the Fallen, and I had no desire to check out Age of Extinction. Truth be told, this franchise went on way too long, but here we are with another incoming summer and another Transformers film at the ready. Supposedly this is Michael Bay’s last time being associated with the franchise as a director, and maybe that’s a good thing. I think these movies could use some fresh blood if they decide to keep “rolling out.” -LJF
Pre-Trailer Thoughts: The Transformers films are some of the loudest, dumbest, and most headache inducing movies ever made. The soul-crushing realization that some of the best actors working today (Stanley Tucci, John Turturro, Frances McDormand) have somehow been blackmailed into starring in them is only matched by the disgust felt when discovering their racist and misogynistic undertones coupled with a disturbing amount of product placement. Their continued financial success is a condemnation of the human race as a whole. I’m not a fan. – JTM
Rate the Trailer: 1 out of 5. This just looks like more of the same. Slow motion, big robot battles, and a super serious tone even though these movies are based on toys. The presence of Anthony Hopkins is interesting but this series has found a way to get really good actors despite the context. Blah. The trailer also tries to paints Optimus Prime as a villain but we all know he’ll be the good guy at the end again. -LJF
Rate the Trailer: 2 out of 5. Not only have they somehow managed to wrangle Anthony Hopkins into this mess, but they also managed to ruin The Flaming Lips’ “Do You Realize” with an awful cover that mishandles the recent trend of using slower versions of pop songs in trailers. An absurdly overwrought series gets even more absurd this time around with the implication that the Transformers bots have had a hand in shaping human history and participating in major wars. Despite only brief flashes of action, you can already tell from the way it’s cut that this will be more of the same indecipherable scenes of robots you cant tell apart smashing into one another. – JTM
Theater, Rent, No Thanks, Undecided? No Thanks. I am not interested whatsoever. That’s all that really needs to be said. -LJF
Theater, Rent, No Thanks, Undecided? No Thanks. Even if my ticket was free I wouldn’t want to sit through another one of these movies for nearly 3 hours. – JTM