Monday Night RAW is…Tedious in Grand Rapids

-Love that Bray interrupted a promo package for Extreme Rules. Bray gives another one of his excellent promos, putting fear in the hearts of his competitors at the next Raw PPV. He asks The Big Dog what ruling a yard means to a man that owns the world.

-Roman enters to (edited) boos, starting out looking like a bad ass but then faltering, like usual, under his words. The two almost come to blows before GM Angle, looking like a hot dog in a suit, walks out and pits the two against each other.

-Returning from commercial, Bray and Roman hook up and have a very basic, yet hard hitting match. Nothing amazing but not a bad match. Samoa Joe interrupts mid-match (lots of interruptions tonight) and locks in the Coquina Clutch on Roman and then Bray. THEN Rollins interrupts, backing off Joe as Wyatt hits a Superman Punch. This opening was messy and felt put together at the last minute. And where was Finn?

-Backstage we see The Drifter Elias Samson, who was absolute least favorite wrestler in NXT. However, I loved his ridiculous drifting he’s been doing on Raw. Angle gives him a match with Dean Ambrose.

-Oh joy, Cruiserweight action. Akira Tozawa and Sean Daivari have about a three-minute match, splicing in THE Brian Kendrick backstage for no reason. It legit takes longer for the ring crew to change than ropes than it does for these guys to have a match.

-We get a useless backstage promo with Sasha Banks, Alicia Fox and Noam Dar. K.

-Elias Samson begins to sing in the ring, receiving enough boos to make Roman Reigns jealous. Ambrose interrupts (again, interruptions galore tonight) and the match begins. This just in: Samson still sucks in the ring. That’s saying something, since Ambrose is not all that great either. Then, wouldn’t you know it, WE GET ANOTHER INTERRUPTION as The Miz enters the ring, hits Samson and DQ’s Ambrose. Why? Just why?

-Quick cut backstage to Cass finding Enzo knocked out, his shoe laying comically at his head. Who could it be? When we return from commercial even Enzo doesn’t know. I hope this doesn’t put The Realest Guys in Da Room into another stupid program.

-Though he’s only been in the WWE for about 2 ½ years, I think it’s safe to say Finn Balor has one of the Top 10 best themes of all time. Speaking of greatest of all time, Paul Heyman INTERRUPTS (because of course) and cuts a helluva promo (does he do anything else?) hyping up Brock Lesnar. I’ll be honest, I keep forgetting the Universal Championship exists. God, Brock does not need to be champion. Heyman then hypes Balor as the best in the business today (he’s not wrong) and says he knows a little bit about being Extreme. ECW still gets the biggest pop. Feels me with glee. But not as much as Balor calling out the fact that Lesnar isn’t there because “of course he isn’t.”

-Up next is Balor taking on Karl Anderson. The announcers play up the Bullet Club friendship as Anderson takes his frustration of constantly losing out on Balor. This is a decent match, especially near the end with the ever brilliant Coup de Grace.

-Oh boy, Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox…again. Look, I enjoy both of these women in the ring. They’re both fantastic. But this is a “Divas” level match, not a Woman’s Revolution match. Anyway, Sasha wins.

-Oh God, who’s idea was it to have Kalisto and Apollo Crews do a promo together? What a waste of T.V. time.

-The announcers begin talking about The Golden Truth and Corey Graves says they’re one of the most beloved tag teams today. Milk came out of my nose as I laughed. I wasn’t even drinking milk. However, we go get an old school Goldust promo, circa 1995. Hell yeah!

-Alexa Bliss cuts a killer promo backstage, hyping up a Kendo Stick match with Bayley. I’m pretty stoked to see this one, actually.

-Remember back in ’97 when Triple H brought out a sign that read “Who Booked This Crap”? That’s how I feel about Crews/Kalisto. At least the Salida del Sol is a great move.

-FINALLY! Matt Hardy and Sheamus put on an awesome match, a smart back and forth affair between two veterans. With some distractions outside from Jeff and Cesaro, Matt hit the Twist of Fate to earn the right to choose the stipulation for their Tag Title match at Extreme Rules. The Hardy Boyz picked…a Steel Cage Match. That should be awesome.

-Oh look, the Cruiserweights are allowed to have a decent match on Raw! Austin Aries and Tony Nese have a solid match, showing off both men’s skills. Aries takes the win with the Last Chancery. After the match, Neville attacks Nese for the loss.

-Alexa and Mickie up next and wow, these two were beating the crap out of each other. Mickie is a top-notch performer and she is incredible at putting over younger talent. Both women looked great here, with Bliss picking up the W. Bayley comes down to save Mickie from a Kendo Stick beating but Bliss beautifully retreats. Excellent heel work here.

-So someone messed up and played Seth Rollins’ theme instead of Samoa Joe’s. I’m going to count Joe’s theme hitting as ANOTHER INTERRUPTION because why not? If Michael Cole can run jokes into the ground, so can I. Anyway, main event time. Remember when Rollins and Reigns hated each other? I sound like a Member Berry. The main event, pitting Rollins and Reigns vs. Joe and Wyatt was pretty good. A lot of back and forth action and all four men looked great. Joe was especially vicious here and I was surprised to see him get the win over Rollins.

-This Raw was tedious to get through. ‘Nuff said.

Bill Bodkin is the Owner, Editor-in-Chief and Co-Founder of Pop-Break. Most importantly, however, he is the proud father of a beautiful daughter, Sophie. He is beyond excited that Pop-Break will be seven years old in 2016 as this site has come a long, long way from the day he launched in it in his bachelor pad at the Jersey Shore. He currently works as a project manager in the telecom world, and is a freelance writer for NJ.com. He is a graduate of Rutgers University with a degree in Journalism & English. Follow him on Twitter: @BodkinWrites