Forget Last Year’s Reboot — We Need Ghostbusters 3
None of you probably remember this, but exactly one year ago today (July 15th to be exact), Sony released their rebooted version of Ghostbusters, otherwise known as the infamous “all female Ghostbusters.” The last thing I want to do is revisit that ridiculous controversy. Oy vey. Unless you reside in the scummiest parts of the internet, anyone with half a brain knows had the same script been given to men, dogs, cats, fish, talking pillows, whatever, we would have gotten the same forgettable, inane movie. At least the cast made it watchable. This was always about how terrible an idea it was to reboot Ghostbusters. It never should have happened.
As I’ve talked about ad nauseam with our fearless leader at The Pop Break, we didn’t need another Ghostbusters. Could a reboot have been good? Sure. At the end of the day though, nobody wanted it.
If there was going to be another Ghostbusters movie, it should have been in the same continuity as the original series. The talk of Ghostbusters III got so exhausting though, we reached a point where the franchise should have just been laid to rest, especially after the sad passing of Harold Ramis.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on this though, and as much as I believed in that sentiment at the time, I’ve done a complete turnaround:
I want another Ghostbusters movie.
Yes. I’ve changed my mind, and the reason is because I don’t want Ghostbusters to go out like this. I don’t want this franchise to be remembered for an over blown controversy that resulted in a completely indifferent movie. I fear years from now when Ghostbusters gets brought up in a conversation, people won’t be talking about the 1984 original. They’ll be saying:
“Oh yeah, remember when everybody freaked out about that reboot?”
We can’t have that. That’s why we need another Ghostbusters. Sony can thank me later, but not only am I going to give them exactly what this movie should be, I’m going to cast it for them. For the love of Gozer the Gozerian, let’s do this right!
Strap on the proton packs – Here’s what’s required for another Ghostbusters try:
Go Back to The Original Continuity
This is the first and most important rule that must be followed:
DON’T DO ANOTHER REBOOT!
This NEEDS to be Ghostbusters III. It should literally be titled Ghostbusters III. Yes. That’s right. Not only that, Sony needs to be very CLEAR in their press release that this falls in the same continuity after Ghostbusters II. They also need to 100% confirm that the last Ghostbusters movie has absolutely nothing to do with this. It’s gone. Over. Done. The End.
Here’s the basic premise: After battling another biblical threat at the beginning of the movie, the Ghostbusters are clearly getting too old for this s**t. This can set up for a lot of comedy early on. The Ghostbusters agree that they need to train newbies. There you go. It’s a perfect bridge. You still have the original Ghostbusters playing a prominent role, but they are clearly turning it over to a new generation.
How to Deal with Getting the Original Cast Back
We all know Harold Ramis can’t be a part of this, although Egon would certainly be mentioned. Otherwise, you plot out a story that involves the following people:
Dan Aykroyd. Bill Murray. Ernie Hudson. Rick Moranis. Annie Potts. Sigourney Weaver.
And to avoid all the Bill Murray drama we got last time, you make it very clear:
“Bill. This is our story. Are you in, or out?”
If he says no, or is too wishy washy (give him a deadline), you immediately move on. That’s it. This is the approach you use for all the original actors. If they like the pitch, great. If not, you move on without them. DON’T DILLY DALLY!
Let’s assume at the very least we get Aykroyd and Hudson on board. Ideally, we’d want more original cast members, but with a great script, this can still be pulled off with only two links from the original.
The New Cast
This is it. My picks for the new Ghostbusters are…
I wanted to mention her first because she will be the oldest among the new cast. This would be a character who’s already been working with the Ghostbusters. Sure, you could make her related to one of the Ghostbusters, like a cousin or something, but it’s not necessary.
After seeing The House, Amy Poehler reminded me of just how brilliant a comedic force she can be. The image of her holding that blow torch in The House inspired me to write this whole piece.
I see Poehler as an Egon type, but with the propensity to be a little whacky and unhinged. She can easily spew out the science babble as the understated dork, but when times get tough, she can go off the reservation. She’ll be an important leader to the new, younger Ghostbusters.
This might be an on the nose pick, but I don’t care. Quite simply, Jonah Hill is one of the most talented people working in Hollywood right now. He makes comedy look easy. His manic, deranged performance in The Wolf of Wall Street is right there with Leonardo DiCaprio. It doesn’t get better than that.
At the end of the day though, Jonah Hill is just really damn funny. I see Hill as the Ray Stantz of the group – the over excited goofball who becomes the real heart of the team. He can easily play science geek, but the idea of busting ghosts is thrilling to him. This is probably a guy who idealized the Ghostbusters growing up and built his whole life around that.
If you get Sigourney Weaver on board, why not just make him Oscar Barrett? What the hell.
With Poehler and Hill covering the eccentric scientist roles, you need a guy like Glover to balance it out. I see Glover as a Venkman/Winston combo. He can definitely have that dry wit, but is also the everyman, ala Winston. There’s no doubt he’d get annoyed by the overzealous nature of Jonah Hill or Amy Poehler, but I could also see him deliver lines like:
“This job is definitely not worth $11,500 a year!”
Donald Glover fits Ghostbusters like a glove.
There’s no doubt Baywatch will go down as one of my worst films of the year. As I said in my review though, Zac Efron has something. To be able to take the garbage that was the Baywatch script and come off mildly amusing tells me something. This guy needs a good project.
I see Efron’s character as a brash, young cop who gets kicked off the force for insubordination. Desperate and down in the dumps, he joins the Ghostbusters. He’s a cocky, arrogant kid who has to learn how to work in a team environment. While I see Venkman in this character because of his massive ego, this is more of an original creation as opposed to fitting him into one of the four Ghostbuster buckets.
Zac Efron would crush it as a Ghostbuster. I know it.
Who You Gonna Call?
Before I reveal my choice for writer/director, Dan Aykroyd would certainly play an advisory role. I’m not sure if he should write the script at this point, but he should certainly have input. As the guy who’s been trying to will this movie into existence for decades, let the man have his say.
Having said that, my choice for who should direct (and write) is none other than…
Hey, they’re available. This seems like another on the nose choice, but come on? Tell me these guys weren’t born to make a Ghostbusters movie. Let’s also remember they were briefly in talks to do this at one point.
Here’s the bottom-line: You need directors who really get comedy. Comedy is in rough shape, but these guys were able to deliver two of the funniest movies of the last decade with both 21 Jump Street films.
This will not be an easy task, but if there’s anyone who can pull it off, it’s the guys who took a dated melodramatic 80’s show and Legos, but made them both hysterical.
I Want Bustin’ to Feel Good Again
Do I think this will ever happen? No. If that’s the case, I urge everybody to please forget about the debacle that happened last year and remember the original. It’s easy to forget, but it really is one of the greatest comedies ever made, and probably one of my favorite movies of all time.
It’s not that the Ghostbusters reboot was horrible, but it left such a bad taste in everybody’s mouth from all angles. Is this really how we want to remember Ghostbusters? No way.
It’s a long shot, but hey…whoever thought crossing the streams would work?