The Jersey Shore Reunion is a Lifeless, Drakkar Noir-Drenched Trip Down Memory Lane

The Jersey Shore Reunion — Reunion Roadtrip to The Jersey Shore Plot Summary:

The cast of MTV’s once popular television series Jersey Shore reunite.

We have a Situation here. Mike Sorrentino may have finally developed a softer, gentler side.

Cast members of Jersey Shore reunited for a one-night television show five years after their fist-pumping, club-destroying, womanizing ways graced the beaches of New Jersey.

In the opening scene, The Situation says he wanted to have a reunion because he has gone through two stints in rehab, is facing jailtime for tax evasion charges and destroyed all his friendships along the way. Celebrating 18 months of sobriety, he decides to pick up each of his willing former roommates to head back to their old stomping grounds; however, since Seaside Heights would not permit further filming, they head to Jenkinson’s in Point Pleasant instead.

First on the list is Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, who has transformed from a self-described “hot mess” and “train wreck” to a married mother of two – and she looks great. However, the interaction between Snooki and the Situation is anything less than Snooki-like as she enters the SUV. I thought there would have been screaming, kissing, hugging, just overall Snooki antics after not seeing her castmate in so long, but it was an awkward interaction between the two. She asked some typical Snooki-like questions of Mike, but they lacked the outlandishness she came to be known for.

The next stop is Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio, who seems to be the most similar to his former self. He is deejaying around the world, is dating Aubrey O’Day and still practices GTL; though his Gym is at home, Tanning is a spray tan and Laundry gets sent out, he said. He definitely has embraced his fame and fortune from the show and has taken it to a new level.

Jenny Farley still has her edge. Also a mother of two, she has taken strides from the ghost of JWoww past.

Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola also hasn’t changed personality-wise, as she is “obsessed with” and “loves” her new boyfriend – a far cry from her tumultuous relationship with castmember Ronnie Magro, who she refuses to talk about.

The conversations during the reunion lunch centered around Sammi and Ronnie, the girls’ new boob jobs and reminiscing about past fights – but without adding in footage from those fights, it sounded like a group of grandparents talking about, “I remember when …”

I admit, I got suckered into watching the show every week, as well as the spinoffs, almost because it was like watching a bad car accident – you knew you shouldn’t look and keep moving on, but something draws you in, and then you become obsessed with finding out what happened. It was great television back in the day.

Let me be clear: I do not condone the behavior of anyone on the show, and often could not believe how ridiculous they were. And I believe it’s great that everyone has grown up five years later, approaching their 30s and beyond. But in terms of good television, this was not it. This episode was dull, dry and boring, especially for fans of Jersey Shore who were hoping for the fights and antics they came to know and love. Everyone was so subdued, which made this show boring by Jersey Shore standards. I know five years is a long time to not see someone, but I thought there would have been more chemistry amongst everyone. I think other than the Situation trying to move past his demons, the show was pointless.

On the flipside, maybe this will help Restore the Shore, since so many people had a negative view of New Jersey because of the six seasons of filming along the coast.

Rating: 4 out of 10

I am a managing editor/staff writer for Newspaper Media Group and a content coordinator for Best Version Media's "Our Robbinsville" magazine in addition to contributing to The Pop Break. I love crime dramas such as "Blue Bloods" and "Chicago Fire," reality shows like "Impractical Jokers" and anything on The Food Network.