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WWE Monday Night RAW is Scary

The Halloween Edition of RAW is, as usual, weird. Something about Halloween editions of WWE. Michael Cole is still dressed as a tool, Byron Saxton is a bigger tool in pajamas, while Corey Graves kills it as David S. Pumpkins.

Spoiler Alert: No appearance by the Boogeyman.

The show kicks off with Goldberg and Paul Heyman. Crowd really going nuts for Goldberg. Heyman cuts a solid promo, best one in a few weeks, and fools us all by teasing Brock Lesnar being in the building, but instead we get Rusev. I guess Rusev is now the guy to get beaten up by top-tier part-time talent. Rusev cuts a good antagonistic promo, forgetting his accent, and is crushed with a Jackhammer.

To add to the carnage, Goldberg SPEARS Paul Heyman clear into Survivor Series. Following the segment, we see an ambulance taking Heyman away. Geez.

Buzz Lightyear and Woody, Enzo and Big Cass respectfully, cut a very funny promo, even my five-year old who couldn’t sleep thought it was funny. We get a Halloween-style street fight, which is the comedy portion of the first hour as Enzo takes on Luke Gallows, and the Club member is forced to bob for apples, eat pie, and ultimately, get clobbered with a pumpkin over his head. Winner: Enzo Amore

Brian Kendrick defeats TJ Perkins to retain the Cruiserweight Championship

I’m a bit torn here. The ending of the match was pretty genius. Think about it, the champ can just get counted out on purpose to retain, while losing the match. Perkins appeared to show some more fire, which might benefit his character somewhat. In any case, good match, Perkins takes Kendrick to the floor with the top rope hurricanrana, but as the ref gets to 9, Kendrick stops, and Perkins is left sulking. Post match, Perkins snaps and tries to snap Kendrick’s leg via Knee Bar.

Backstage: Braun Strowman demands to be put on Team RAW at Survivor Series. Mick Foley tells him to win the Battle Royal tonight, and he is in.

In the ring, Foley starts recapping Hell in a Cell, but is instantly interrupted by Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho. This turns into a great Foley-bashing segment, and Foley comes back with some fire of his own, and then puts them both on Team RAW. He brings out the next member, Roman Reigns, who is mercilessly booed. He tries shrugging it off with some witty comments, but of course, makes no sense. Jericho cuts a great tease, threatening to put us all on the list… But we don’t deserve The List! The List is too good for us! Beautiful. Jericho then tells Reigns he doesn’t deserve to be United States Champion, so Mick Foley books a U.S. Title match tonight.

Braun Strowman wins the Battle Royal to qualify for Team RAW. Well, when the only other possible choices of Cesaro and Sheamus are eliminated and the rest of the challengers are lightweights and below-grade mid-tier talent, it’s a foregone conclusion. Maybe this was the comedy segment of the second-hour?

Great segment by The New Day, with all three members dressed as previous gimmicks of Charles Wright… as Papa Shango, Kama, and The Godfather. Hysterical. They ragged on all of SmackDown’s tag teams, promoting the “tag team” Survivor Series elimination match, but when they get to American Alpha, they can’t say anything bad. They compliment them. Very well done. They also have a moment to mourn the loss of Francesca II, however her “sister” is on the way.

Rich Swann, Cedric Alexander, and Lince Dorado defeat Tony Nese, Drew Gulak, and Ariya Davari

Great match. Swann just looks so happy. He’s fantastic. Once again, this type of match, while fast, is able to bring out some great spots from all six.

Charlotte gloats about her Hell in a Cell win over Sasha Banks. Yes, she deserves praise for the match. Bayley interrupts thank Primus, and is put into a qualifying match for Team RAW Women’s Survivor Series match… against Nia Jax. You can guess where it goes from here… Nia Jax wins. Fatality.

Backstage: Cesaro and Sheamus continue to bicker.

Cesaro and Sheamus defeat Primo and Epico. I won’t even call them the Shining Stars anymore. Freakin’ time-share garbage gimmick.

A long taped segment with Goldust and R-Truth in a Haunted House. Sigh.

Great backstage segment with Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho about how they will rename the U.S. Title into the Canadian Championship just like Lance Storm. That inclusion of Lance Storm is beyond awesome.

I really tried hard to get into this match. Reigns just looked like he was phoning it in, while Jericho made it look like he had a chance of winning. Kevin Owens wound up interfering as Reigns was about to win off the spear, so the match gets tossed by DQ. However, Seth Freakin’ Rollins charges to the ring, because that’s what it says on his T-Shirt and titantron intro. The show ends with Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns together in the ring, oddly, the crowd chanting “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Maybe they’re thinking Shield reunion?

This was an odd RAW. Some of the comedy segments were not likely meant to be funny, but come on, Braun Strowman in a Battle Royal with Neville and Darren Young dressed as Bob Backlund?

The hype is now on Survivor Series and the three traditional Survivor Series matches, which I assume will all be Elimination Matches.

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