Bold Box Office Predictions: The Pre-Christmas Weekend Extravaganza
Notable Openings This Weekend: Annie, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
On paper, all these movies should do pretty well, but is anybody excited about any of them? I just look at all three of these movies and hear a collective yawn from the audience. But let’s cut the preamble short, and get right to my annual Hobbit rant.
Please. I’m begging you. I’m literally on my knees as I type this: Please, for the love of Gandalf’s beard, let this be the last Lord of the Rings/Hobbit/Whatever movie. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch those trailers. I can’t listen to the annual “Well, it’s the Hobbit. I guess we have to care.” I know better though, don’t I? I know right now studio executives are scrambling around all locations where J.R.R. Tolkien might have walked around, or taken a dump, and looking for notes he wrote on a cocktail napkin, or a piece of toilet paper as they desperately try and glue a new trilogy together. I know we haven’t seen our last Lord of the Rings movie, just as Deathly Hallows Part II was not the last Harry Potter related film. It boggles my mind these Hobbit movies have made so much money, when there is literally no one looking forward to them. Lord of the Rings fans don’t even care! The reviews are mediocre. This should never have been split into three damn movies. I’m so sick of this franchise. Go away Bilbo. Go away Gandalf. Go away Legolas. And finally, this one’s for Peter Jackson: Do something else. Please.
The Night at the Museum franchise has been pretty successful, but this is a classic case of “they waited too long.” The previous film came out five years ago, and for a series like this, you really needed to crank the following film out right away. I’m shocked nobody is talking about how this is one of Robin Williams’ final films. It’s barely brought up, which leads me to believe he’s in like two scenes. The previous film made just over $54 Million its opening weekend, so even if you shave off $20 Million, it will still be respectable.
I don’t know what the budget is for Annie, but it will not crack $20 Million this weekend. I’ve got to think that’s subpar for a film like this. Sure, you got Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz, but banking your film on the girl who was nominated for an Oscar that three people saw isn’t a slam dunk. Annie was very popular back in the day, but come on – nobody has been interested in this movie from the beginning.
HOW WILL IT ALL BREAK DOWN…
This has probably been the most cynical box office predictions piece I’ve ever done, so hopefully next weekend I’ll bring more holiday cheer. As a final nail in the coffin to piss me off, The Hobbit opened on a Wednesday, which makes my job harder. Final Analysis: The Hobbit will do well. Happy? Bah humbug.
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies — $55 Million
Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb — $33 Million
Annie — $17 Million
Exodus: Gods and Kings — $13 Million
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part I — $8.5 Million
Daniel Cohen is the Film Editor for Pop-Break. Aside from reviews, Daniel does a weekly box office predictions column, and also contributes monthly Top Tens and Op-Ed’s on all things film. Daniel is a graduate of Bates College with a degree in English, and also studied Screenwriting at UCLA. He can also be read on www.movieshenanigans.com. His movie crush is Jessica Rabbit. Follow him on Twitter @dcohenwriter.