3. A Different Kind of Dance
Classic/Terrible Love Song: ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’ by Whitney Houston Rockin’ Replacement: ‘GloryHole’ by Steel Panther
Unfortunately, not all of us are lucky enough to have someone special for Valentine’s Day. If that’s you, raise your hands! Wow, really? Well I guess this section is for just me and you then. This upbeat track from Whitney Houston is a song of hope for the single people. At the end of the day, we just want to have someone to be with. “And when the night falls, loneliness calls/Oh, I wanna dance with somebody.” It’s a song about finding a connection, and the possibility of a spark that can light up your life. Good news is, Panther still has you covered. Gloryhole is also a love song about two people finding a connection, although it’s less of a “spark” and more of a “small hole in the wall between bathroom stalls.” This song features one of Satchel’s coolest, heaviest riffs to date, as well as a catchy chorus and sexy slow break from Michael Starr. “Come get what you need/do the dirty deed/deposit your seed at the gloryhole.” See? It’s basically the same song; the other person won’t even notice you’ve changed it, except now you won’t have to listen to Whitney.
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