TV Recap: Extreme Rules 2014

Would it be strange to say the WeeLC Match was actually good? Not the way I thought to start off the recap of WWE Extreme Rules, live from the IZOD Center in New Jersey, but Hornswoggle and El Torito outperformed their tag team counterparts. We even got a mini Cole, JBL, and Lawler announce team. Cute. Torito wins following a Senton through a table.

Boy, do I regret not attending this live. The NJ crowd is insane.

We start the official Extreme Rules PPV with a good ol’ WCW-style Triangle Match. This is a Triple Threat match with an Elimination Rule pitting Rob Van Dam against Cesaro and Jack Swagger. Great match to open the show, really got the live crowd going. All three men going for their big moves, and I have got to say, Swagger and Cesaro outclassed RVD. Don’t get me wrong, RVD pulled his own during the match, but Cesaro was the clear star. RVD eliminates Swagger first, and after more suplexes and incredible displays of strength from Cesaro, the King of Swing splatters RVD with the Neutralizer for the pin and decisive win.

Backstage: Stephanie tells Daniel Bryan to forfeit the WWE Championship since Kane is out of her control. Bryan tells her to stuff it.

Alexander Rusev demolishes R-Truth and Xavier Woods. Did you expect any different?

“Bad News” Barrett comes out to a huge cheer from the Jersey crowd. This is why I regret going. The Intercontinental Champion, Big E. Langston earns boos. Despite not being pushed, he is still plenty talented, would I have booed? No, but then again Wade Barrett is the favorite. This match was awesome, Langston beating the hell out of Barrett but the Bastion of Bad News fought back, countering the Big Ending and clobbered Big E. with the Bull Hammer, emphazised with a loud “BOOM” from the audience as Barrett won the match and championship. The crowd exploded with cheers. Finally, Wade Barrett is back with gold, for the fourth time as Intercontinental Champion. Barrett is back on the rise, and that is the best news.

It’s only 9pm, and they release the hounds! Shield vs. Evolution! I have to skip right to the result in order to properly address this match. The Shield defeated Evolution in what might have been Match of the Century. The bout starts as a brawl, but after Shield initially cleans house, order is restored. Everyone gets their time in the ring, eventually Evolution pulls ahead and Ambrose is the main target. You knew Batista was in the ring when the crowd roared with boos and “Bootista” chants. Also, a few “you can’t wrestle” chants between him and Randy Orton. Ambrose takes a beating, but after spiking HHH with a DDT, he makes a hot tag to Reigns, and the match breaks down into all out insanity. Fight goes to the floor, Ambrose and HHH crash through the announce table, Reigns and Batista beat each other senseless in the ring. Triple H and Orton take Ambrose and Rollins through the crowd, suddenly, Rollins is decked while Ambrose is beaten over and over by Evolution. Suddenly, as Orton and HHH assault Ambrose, Seth Rollins DIVES OFF A BALCONY, crashing onto all three. In the ring, Batista thinks he has Reigns set up for the Bomb, but the big man counters with the Superman Punch and a spear to earn the pin and win. This recap is not enough.

What the hell was on Batista’s face? A beard? A sharpie?

Bray Wyatt defeated John Cena in the Steel Cage. I admit, the whole “Wyatt Family” preventing Cena from escaping the cage was a bit too much and it seemed to make it obvious Cena would overcome all odds to win. Not so. Great match overall, and I laughed hard when Cena hit a dropkick and the announce team were all in shock over it. Good match, not great, but the finish was creepy as all hell. In short, every time Cena tried to escape, Luke Harper or Erick Rowan stopped him. When Cena finally had all three members down, the lights go out and a child is singing, but the voice is slowed down to creepy levels and Cena is stunned. Bray sneaks up and spikes him with Sister Abigail. He walks out of the cage and wins. Later on backstage, we learn the child is “little Johnny” and Bray announces his virus is out and Cena will be lost forever. Creepy stuff.

Paige successfully retains the Diva’s Title against Tamina Snuka. Ref screwed up and counted three after Paige countered a second rope Samoan Drop into a powerbomb but the match kept going. Paige countered a superkick into a Scorpion Lock/Double Underhook combo submission which looked SICK. Tamina somehow tapped, considering all limbs were tied up.

Why does the WWE Champion come out first in the main event? Kane and Daniel Bryan brutalize each other from the start, and it is apparent this was not ever intended to be a wrestling match. We got chairs, canes, even a snow shovel used in this one. Match goes into the parking garage where they destroy a car Street Fighter-style. I’ll just fast forward to the good stuff. Bryan beat Kane into unconsciousness with a tire iron. So, while this match is under Extreme Rules, it is not Falls Count Anywhere. Odd. So, Bryan rolls Kane onto a forklift and drives it to the ring, raising it over the top rope before dumping Kane back in, and then JUMPING OFF with a diving headbutt! Did that get the win? No. Kane’s energy meter must have replenished because the last five minutes had no effect. Kane hits a chokeslam, but only a two count. He goes for the tombstone, but Bryan counters out and then waffles Kane over and over, before slapping the Yes Lock on. Kane grabs a kendo stick, but Bryan takes it away and uses it in the submission, but Kane escapes the ring. Bryan attempts a dive, and eats another chokeslam through the announce table! Kane is not done yet, as he brings out a table… gasoline, and a damn lighter! Tables aflame! Bryan counters and sends Kane through it! The crew put out the flames fast, but a blinded Kane is clobbered by a running knee from Bryan, who covers and earns the pinfall in this hard-fought match. Bryan celebrates, except sees Kane sit right up, Deadman style and hits his own pyro to close the PPV. Rematch anyone?

Thoughts:

• Really, what on Earth was on Batista’s face?
• For once a Diva Match was decent. Not getting hopes up yet.
• No Sandow. No Ziggler.
• Bray/Cena could have been better, we will probably get one more match at the next PPV.
•Who is the kid’s daddy?
• Just because a few weapons get used, does not mean E-C-Dub chants are warranted. Do people even know what ECW was anymore?
• This was a goddamn SOLID pay-per-view.
• Bryan/Kane started off sluggish and turned out to be an awesome match. I was worried, since brawls usually don’t go over very well for main events, but they pulled it off nicely. Kane is truly back as the Big Red Monster.

Quick Recap:
El Torito defeated Hornswoggle
Cesaro defeated Jack Swagger and RVD
Alexander Rusev defeated R-Truth and Xavier Woods
Wade Barrett pinned Big E. Langston to become the new Intercontinental Champion
The Shield defeated Evolution
Bray Wyatt escaped the cage against John Cena
Paige retained the Divas Title against Tamina Snuka
Daniel Bryan retained the WWE World Championship over Kane