Trailer Tuesday on Friday: Fifty Shades of Grey

Written by Daniel Cohen and Logan J. Fowler

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Release Date: February 13, 2015

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Max Martini, Rita Ora

Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson (Nowhere Boy)

Plot: Literature student Anastasia Steele’s (Johnson) life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey (Dornan) and his sexual proclivities.

Pre-Trailer Thoughts: A novel that basically belongs in an adult bookstore is getting a feature film. NC-17 rating? We’ll see I guess. –LJF

Pre-Trailer Thoughts: I barely know anything about Fifty Shades of Grey. The only rumors I’ve heard are that it involves crazy sex shenanigans, and it was originally Twilight fan fiction. Is that actually true? (Shudder). Also, Charlie Hunnam was originally cast, but I guess the 50 Shades community all collectively had heart attacks, and like the mafia, they got him kicked off the film. Okay. –DC

Rate the Trailer (1-5): One out of five. This trailer and/or movie is not meant for me really. It just seems like a loner dude wants to do it all the time, no strings attached. Didn’t Michael Fassbender do the same thing in Shame? This is not a original concept, and I’m sure it’s been done better. Maybe the guy falls in love with her at the end. But the teaser does not portray a tale of love; it more seems like the more time this lady spends with the dude, she’s going to be in for a few wild nights, and possibly some bruising. –LJF

Rate the Trailer (1-5): One out of Five. This is a joke, right? That’s not actually going to be a movie. Look, I understand the female audience looks at Twilight like I would a superhero movie, so I’m not going to be that guy who bashes Twilight incessantly. I get it, okay. Have fun with it. But I’m sorry, I have to draw a line here. Are you kidding me with this? And don’t give me the “It’s a guilty pleasure” argument. Come on, people. Come on, society. I can deal with Twilight, The Kardashians, even TMZ for crying out loud. But this is pure and utter garbage that is going to make a shit load of money. I haven’t read the books, and I understand it’s only a trailer, but my gut reaction is this – We are better than this, people. –DC

Theater, Rent, No Thanks, Undecided? Fifty Shades of Nay. Given the source material, you would think dudes would love the content in Fifty Shades of Grey. But like I said, this is not for me, or the male race really. Also, I don’t think this is a date movie. I have already been told by my girlfriend that her and one of her best female friends are going to see it. Yeah I figured. Have fun ladies. –LJF

Theater, Rent, No Thanks, Undecided? Fifty Shades of No Thanks. If I review this movie, I’m buying a ticket for another film and movie hopping to this one. I will not contribute to this film’s box office.

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