Some people will argue that Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. Those people are Ellis and nobody likes Ellis. Basically, not only is Die Hard the perfect movie, it is also the best Christmas movie ever made. Let’s look at some of Die Hard’s Christmasisms.
Everyone loves a good Christmas party. You have sweaters and egg nog and guys doing coke in your office. Okay I guess not every party was like that but office Christmas parties are an opportunity to let loose and have fun and no decade knew how to have fun better than the 1980’s. Sure, Die Hard is about a Christmas party gone wrong, but how many of them go according to plan anyway?
One thing most people look forward to the most about Christmas is the opportunity to reconnect with family. In John’s case, Holly took the kids and moved across the United States. She even changed her name. From the beginning, John’s mission was to woo Holly and become a family again. Sure, there were some unconventional road blocks that get thrown up but in the end, reconnecting with his family is exactly what John manages to do.
Who’s that in the chimney? Is it the jolly old man with a bag full of presents or the not so jolly old New York City cop with a bag full of detonators? Either way, if there is someone sneaking around in your ventilation system, you know it’s Christmas time.
People forget how inherently German Christmas is. The first Christmas tree is believed to have been created by a German missionary. The Yule Log and many elements of the Christmas feast originate in Germany. The first commercially produced Christmas decorations came from Germany. Even Santa’s loveable demon henchman Krampus is German.
You know what else comes from Germany? Hans Mother-Effin Gruber, that’s who. And yeah maybe he’s Austrian but shut up you! With the help of his blonde haired blue eyed terrorists (and that one black hacker) Hans brings some old fashioned German Christmas cheer to the good people at Nakatomi Plaza.
Wrapping Paper Tape
There’s always lots of it lying around.
Hans says it himself. “This is Christmas; the time for miracles.” Die Hard is a movie that is full of miracles. John survives the explosion in the elevator shaft. Argyle doesn’t just leave. John is able to swing from a fire hose off of the exploding roof and through a window. Karl survives long enough to get shot by Allen. Really the spirit of Christmas miraculously makes everything work out for everyone. Except for Ellis. Screw Ellis.
Matthew Nando Kelly is a staff writer for Pop-Break. Aside from Die Hard reviews, he writes about television, film, music, and video games. Matthew also has a podcast called Mad Bracket Status where he discusses pop culture related brackets with fellow Pop-Break writer DJ Chapman. He loves U2, cats, and the New Orleans Saints. He can also occasionally be found writing lists on Topless Robot and his twitter handle is @NationofNando