Satan Loves A Hook #7


Satan Loves a Hook #7 – The Rise And Fall Of Satan Himself

Don’t you worry your pretty little heads. Someday Satan will return and give you all the Satan-based lovin’ you need in this world.

I’m Greg Kennelty, senior news writer for I pitched the idea to Pop Break about having a lifelong metal fan such as myself review popular songs outside the realm of “that damn devil music” every week. Obviously it went over well and here we are! The stipulation is while I get to choose the ten songs I review, all my choices must come from a pool of tunes chosen by the Pop Break staff. 

The goal of the article is for me to voice my honest opinion on the chosen songs every week from the perspective of a metal head that isn’t really familiar with these artists and their work. Ready?

“Mesmerise” by Frank Ocean

How was this not a song they used as background music on Hey Arnold or something like that? Minus the vocals anyway, because the instrumental bits are pretty killer. it has this weird roomy vibe to it, but in a very small-scale kind of way that feels oddly claustrophobic… for some reason I feel like this room also has Christmas lights in it. I don’t know why, but when I hear this it makes me think Christmas lights.

Frank Ocean is probably the ghost of Christmas Past. At least that’s what he sounds like when he sings. Dude sounds like he’s trying to be really quiet because if he speaks any louder, we’ll hear his terrible deliver and boring lyrics. The man gets an A for effort at least considering he could’ve taken those lyrics and yelled them at the top of his lungs over a really generic beat, so hooray Frank Ocean! Kind of!

“Dear Jane” by The Madden Brothers

I was expecting Good Charlotte on this and was pleasantly surprised when I was not greeted with a verbal lesson on the intricacies of the lifestyles of both the rich and famous. Instead, I got a quirky little folk-type song that has some cool bass tones and vocal lines that I didn’t want to get stuck in my head but did. Actually, you know who this reminds me of? Dispatch. Like, if Dispatch were a little more electrified and subscribed to electronics in their music, it would be this.

I almost got pissed off during the chorus too because I could have sworn I was about to hear the stereotypical “pop” chord progression, but apparently The Madden Brothers are masters of deception. That or they’re just really sick of hearing the same progression over and over again and wanted to lull people into a false sense of security before bitch slapping them right in the face with a left turn right into a hook.

I approve of that kind of violence.

“Snow” by New Found Glory

I think the last time New Found Glory was even remotely relevant to my life was around 2003 or 2004 when I was in summer camp and these two kinds who thought they were the punkest punks to have ever punked in the history of punk raved about the group. That was a weird time for music or they just had no idea what they were talking about, but yeah- that’s the last time they were even brought up and honestly, I wish it stayed that way.

“Snow” is an attempt at a ballad-type thing with a lot of romantic imagery but it comes off more like New Found Glory got a hold of every cliche that has ever existed and threw them all together. if you’re comparing anything in any song ever to anything pertaining to your soul, just know that I’m cringing hard enough that it’s considered an ab workout. Couldn’t they have at least written a fun pop punk song about pizza and plaid and friends? Snow could’ve worked its way in there…

“Smallpools” by Karaoke

“Smallpools” straddles this weird line between being totally forgettable and stupid catchy. As in, I feel like I’ve heard songs so similar to this about a thousand times before and by all means this is nothing special, but there’s something about the rise and fall of the melodies in this song that are catching me in a strange way.

Have you ever really listened to Christmas music and paid close attention to the melodies? There’s a pattern. I can’t quite figure out exactly what the pattern is or explain it in any logical terms, but “Smallpools” has that quality to it… I’m sure the chime keyboards in the background are pushing me toward that assumption as well.

What do they know anyway? They’re keyboards.

“Supernatural” by AlunaGeorge

So you’ve got Skrillex cutting up vocal tracks on his 2010 work and using them like they’re notes on a keyboard patch. You’ve got Daft Punk throwing out their own brand of retro electronica and then you’ve got David Guetta funking up the place forever with his music. If you take all three of those things and sprinkle some female vocals overtop, you’ve got AlunaGeorge.

The woman knows exactly what she’s doing in terms of composition. Nothing is overdone and there’s plenty to be paying attention throughout the entire listen. Maybe you’re getting a little weirded out by the vocoder and need a break? Bam! Enya keyboards. Are those making you have Girl With The Dragon tattoo flashbacks? Well about how about some killer female vocals? There’s nothing bad about this song because there’s not one aspect that repeats to the point of boring me. Everything is timed perfectly.