Kinsey would have a field day with TLC’s My Husband’s Not Gay.
The new TLC series follows a group of Mormon men, who deal with what they call Same-Sex Attraction, their wives, and their single friend who is trying to find a girlfriend, but also has SSA.
While it’s fascinating to watch the women deal with the reality that their husbands are more attracted to men than women, it quickly becomes uncomfortable because the men do their “best” to convince their wives that they are attracted to them and maybe two other woman in the world. For some reason, these men and women think any attraction to a woman automatically means a man can’t possibly be gay. The people ignore the fact that the phrases “girl crush” and “man crush” exist because you can be a straight woman or man and admire the form of another member of your sex. That doesn’t make you gay in the same way as self-identifying as a gay man or woman and finding a member of the opposite sex makes you straight. Also, don’t get these people started on the concept of bisexuality. It doesn’t exist in their world. They take the fallacy of “gay, straight, or lying” to a whole new level.
The worst part of the show is that the group talks about Same-Sex Attraction the same way one would deal with depression or OCD. The men talk like it’s something they struggle with every day and that can be managed through the love of a good woman and a supportive group of friends. Two of the men even have something called the danger scale. The danger scale goes from 1, which means that they “looked once,” to 4, which is “I’d like to have sex with that person.” Of course, the 4 is exclusively reserved for their wives because giving a guy a 4 would mean they instantly have to move to San Francisco or Chelsea.
Most problematic about the view presented in My Husband’s Not Gay is that these men felt they had to choose between being gay and staying in the Church of Latter-day Saints and having a family. They make a difference between being gay, which they view as a lifestyle choice, and having Same-Sex Attraction which, according to them, is something you’re born having. It’s a game of semantics that completely ignores the fact that no one actually lives the stereotypical gay lifestyle of frequenting both Broadway and back-alley bathhouses. Plenty of gay men and women have stable family lives, stay together longer than straight married couples, manage to live fulfilling lives in their chosen religion, and raise kids.
When the only single man feels the need to say, “The only thing gay about me is my love for show tunes and men,” it’s clear that these people are blinded by their dedication to their church. They have no interest in learning about gay people who don’t hide behind the Same-Sex Attraction excuse. These people need to learn that loving show tunes makes you a human being with a fondness for Broadway. Finding men more attractive than women means you’re gay or at the very least bisexual.
Are these men happy? Only they really know, but bragging on national television that your sex life with your wife is better than that of your straight friends who are married to a straight woman feels like they’re trying to hard to convince the world that everything’s fine. After all, they admire hot men’s bodies as a couple and their husbands act as a man and a girlfriend. Sorry ladies, but you’re the beard.
In the end, this show’s not even fun to hate watch.
Rating: 1 out of 10
Allison Lips is the Founder of Wait! What’s a Dial?, a television blog that showcases the writing of millennials. Allison graduated from Rowan University in May 2013. She has a passion for TV history, especially late night and game shows. If she could go back in time, Steve Allen would still be hosting The Tonight Show. Follow her on Twitter @waitwaitsadial.