Captain America Civil War Trailer: Everyone Calm Down, it’s just Okay

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Captain America Civil War Trailer:  Everyone Calm Down, it’s just Okay

From everything I read and hear, it sounds like you all love the new Captain America: Civil War trailer.  Yup.  Everything Marvel does is just so amazing.  DC gets constantly dumped on.  X-Men is frequently attacked for their costume choices.  Star Wars gets overly criticized for recycling a few story points.  But when it comes to the MCU, it’s free passes all around!  Avengers: Age of UltronThor: The Dark WorldIron Man 3.  Eh, those were fine.  Come on, it’s Marvel!  Yaaaaay, Marvel!  Everything is just so fun!

In the words of Mace Windu, “This party’s over!”  That’s right.  It’s time for your friendly neighborhood MCU Grinch to make an appearance:

In all seriousness, this trailer is okay.  As a self-proclaimed MCU hater though, I was irked.  This trailer once again does so many Marvel-esque things, I can’t let it slide.  And as a DC fan, yeah, I’m bitter as hell.  There is such a double standard going on, it makes me want to puke.  I’m sorry, but I’m not going to bathe myself in acid and rip my tongue out with pliers in sacrificial praise of this trailer.  Get your pitch forks ready, because I’m about to nitpick the crap out of this thing.

THE TONE

I actually like the first thirty seconds quite a bit.  When General Ross (William Hurt) shows Captain America (Chris Evans) all the devastation they’ve caused, the “Okay.  That’s enough” was effective.  I appreciate the MCU finally showing a more serious side, which is my preference when it comes to superhero movies.  It still feels mediocre and generic, much like all their films, but it’s an effort nonetheless.

What pisses me off isn’t really the trailer itself, but the reaction.  Why is it that when the MCU gets serious and dark, they get praised, yet when a DC film does it, they get smashed to high heavens.  There’s your double standard.  It makes me so damn mad!  Let’s put a pin in the tone though, because we’ll be circling back to that later.

POSING AND PLEASING

One of the aspects of the MCU I detest is the carefully calculated marketing and presentation of all their films.  They care so much more about pleasing the message boards than making a better product.  Clearly it’s worked for them, so who am I to judge.  All I can do is offer my opinion, and my opinion is most MCU films play it safe to please fanboys instead of telling a more compelling story, ala Man of Steel.

I’m sure all the MCU executives sat down and carefully checked all their boxes.  Okay, Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) needs to do something cool.  We need to make sure Ant-Man has a geek out moment by jumping on Iron Man’s hand.  Let’s not forget carefully choreographed Black Widow fighting.  We have to have the classic superhero pose where they all run at each other, and everybody can be seen in the same frame.  Oh, and let’s not forget to show Spider-Man (Tom Holland).  If we don’t show Spider-Man, the chatter will all be about “Why didn’t they show Spider-Man?”  That means some thing is wrong, right?  Uh-oh.  They’ll think Tom Holland’s performance is bad.  I know it would be a better idea to hold off on Spider-Man till the actual movie, but we need to please those damn movie blogs.

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That leads me to my next rant.

WE’RE SPOILING THINGS, AND WE DON’T CARE

This is a problem with most trailers, but the MCU are usually the worst culprits at it.  Uh-oh, everyone figured out the Vision is in Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Well, I guess we better show him in the trailer then.  Wouldn’t that have been cool to see for the first time in the actual movie?  Nope.  The MCU cares more about pleasing the masses so nobody flips out.  In this Civil War trailer, they spoil several moments.

While we don’t know every nook and cranny, they absolutely give away too much.  Yeah, let’s just spoil a character death.  Why not?  I suppose he could come back like they all do in the MCU, but don’t show Tony cradling his friend in the damn trailer.  Come on, man.  What really grinds my gears though is we already know who’s on what side.  Don’t you think that would have been interesting to see play out on screen?  Why is nobody talking about this?

I also don’t appreciate great lines being ruined in a trailer.  “I could do this all day.”  That’s actually a really cool line, and harkens back to the first Captain America film.  Why show that in the trailer?  That would have been amazing to see at the first screening!

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“UNDEROOS!”

Out of all my nitpicks, this is the one that cemented it – the MCU will always be the MCU.  They’ll never get serious.  For all my kvetching, I appreciated this trailer showing a more mature style, but this one line ruined it all.  We’re supposed to be in the middle of this dramatic fight of ideologies between two friends.  This is it.  Enough with the jokes.  “UNDEROOS!”  Ugh.  I was told this would be Tony Stark’s big serious movie, yet he screams “UNDEROOS!”  How am I supposed to take this conflict serious when Tony still finds time to joke around.  I’m sure you all think I’m WAY overreacting to one line, but for me it symbolizes what the MCU is all about.  They try and please everyone.  They want to go serious, but at the same time keep that kid-friendly fun.  It’s infuriating.

As far as Spider-Man goes, I like the voice, but the CGI costume blows bags.  I would say it will probably look better in the final film, but even the most diehard MCU fan has to admit that CGI has never been their strong suit.  I’m sorry, Age of Ultron looks like CW’s The Flash.

LEAVE ME ALONE

If you’re a huge fan of these characters, I totally get it.  But when you watch this trailer objectively, is it really that amazing?  Give it another look?  The dialogue and music is generic as hell, and it’s stuff we’ve seen a hundred times.  I’ve seen way better superhero trailers, such as the first X-Men: Days of Future Past teaser, or that latest Suicide Squad gem.  Now those are trailers!  Are you really going to tell me this was better than those?  I don’t see it.

With all my complaining, I would never root against a movie.  I want every movie I walk into to be great.  I truly mean that.  I hope I can love this film like everyone else inevitably will.  We’ll know soon enough I guess.

I certainly have my fears and worries for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I pray it’s as good as I hope it can be.  It’s time for the MCU to get a legitimate challenger on the field.

Daniel Cohen is the hard-boiled Film Editor for the Pop Break. Besides reviews, Daniel writes box office predictions, Gotham reviews and Oscar coverage. He can also be found on the Breakcast. If Daniel was sprayed by Scarecrow's fear toxin, it would be watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on a non-stop loop.