2016 WWE SummerSlam Results


Well, that was interesting.

The pre-show featured a clean sweep of predictions. American Alpha, Usos, and Hyper Brothels defeated The Vaudevillians, Febreezeos, and the Declining Ascension. I expected no different. Thankfully, the match was a good watch. Also, Sheamus defeats Cesaro in a really good match. They work well together, both able to show off some big power moves. As expected, the Dudley Boys continue their run as enhancement talent, jobbing to Sami Zayn and Neville.

The first match of SummerSlam saw Team JeriKO defeat Enzo and Cass in a very entertaining match. The mic promo from Enzo and Cass wasn’t their best, but still funny. Owens, as expected, was hysterical. Non stop talking. Jericho is always great as the arrogance personified heel. Solid action, hoping this will continue on RAW.

A surprise early on sees Charlotte defeat Sasha Banks to win the WWE Women’s Championship.  Yes, you are reading this right. Charlotte counters the Banks Statement into a roll-up for the pinfall victory. Important note, there were a number of botches in the early moments of the match, one nearly breaking Banks back, then later some sort of crucifix went wrong with Banks landing badly on her neck and legs. Insane spot, Charlotte has Banks in a Razor’s Edge like move on the top rope, Banks hopping up on Charlotte’s shoulders with everyone falling down with a hurricanrana, Bank narrowly avoiding breaking her neck. Good match, but wow, there were a lot of scary spots.

The Miz retains the Intercontinental Championship against Bobby Lash… I mean, Apollo Crews. There was nothing special about this. I was bored, the crowd was bored, we were all bored.

Funny backstage moment, a reunion with The Club is momentarily interrupted by a fourth member in Finn Balor. Styles, Gallows, and Anderson beg for a Too Sweet, but Balor walks off, and indy fans everywhere cried.

A great match. Fantastic. Plus a surprisingly clean finish. AJ STYLES DEFEATED JOHN CENA.

Yes. Yep. It happened. it was a fantastic match. Some great spots, awesome exchanges. This was the John Cena of 2005, the Cena who wrestled long matches and earned a ton of respect. Styles put on a hell of a show too. Lots of near falls and finishing moves with kick outs. Some great new stuff from Cena sent the crowd into a frenzy, but each Styles Clash attempt cause the crowd to lose their minds. In the end, Styles countered Cena into a Styles Clash, followed by the Phenomenal Forearm to score the pinfall victory. Very interesting post-match, Cena takes off his “Never Give Up” wristband, camera zooming in close of course, leaving it in the middle of the ring as he heads out of the ringside area. Wonder if this has a meaning of some sort?

Our next match starts very confusing, as Jon Stewart addresses the Brooklyn crowd, who, oddly, boo him during the promo where he reveals himself to be in New Day’s corner due to the absence of Big E. Langston. Really good match, between New Day and Gallows/Anderson, until Stewart gets involved. Before the good doctors can perform a Ringpostetctomy, Big E. rushes the ring, clocking the challengers and forcing the DQ conclusion. Gallows and Anderson win the match, but New Day retain the Tag Team Championships.


Dean Ambrose retains the WWE Championship against Dolph Ziggler

Good match, but timing seemed to be way off throughout. A number of near falls had me thinking Ziggler might get the win, but ultimately Ambrose telegraphed Ziggler and planted him with the Dirty Deeds. I wish I had more to say, but the match was a bit disappointing. I expected better. Maybe my expectations were too high?

In an abysmal Women’s Match, Alexa Bliss, Natalya, and the returning Nikki Bella defeated Carmella, Naomi, and Becky Lynch. Nikki Bella returns to fill in Eva Marie’s spot? Blech.

Seth Rollins decked out in what looks like a Tron outfit. Finn Balor is in Demon Mode. Finn Balor defeated Seth Rollins to become the first WWE Universe Champion. What a match. Great back and forth, and a lot of near falls and big impact moves. Balor winning is a big step for WWE, I am very happy with this decision.

Roman Reigns vs. Rusev for the United States Championship is thrown out when it breaks down into a brawl. Never happens. Loud crowd chants for Heath Slater and CM Punk. Also, this match would have been sponsored by adult depends, as modeled by Lana.

I have a hard time with this one. It is expected, but still disappointing Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton got top billing, sending a reminder to WWE fans that titles mean nothing, and money always has the spotlight. The whole match was “who can hit their finisher” first? Brock’s german suplexes were atrociously lame. Brock then hit Orton with a flurry of “ungloved” punches, and Orton bladed in full view of every camera angle. Match stopped, Orton bleeding everywhere. A lot. Sigh. Shane McMahon confronts Brock and eats an F5 for it. Lands in the blood. Sigh, again. What a lame finish. No Heath Slater.