kimberlee rossi-fuchs looks at the new adventures of Philly’s finest …
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia returned to FX for its seventh season last week in typical balls-to-the-wall fashion with the stellar “Frank’s Pretty Woman.” From the opening dual delights of Charlie, Dee, and Dennis’ argument over adopting a customer-attacking pit bull for the bar and Frank’s unsettling make-out session with his bedraggled hooker girlfriend, it’s instantly clear that the gang have remained the same horrible selfish miscreants, and this episode was filled with the typical dark humor Sunny fans have come to expect.
In fact, the episode hits high notes of depravity right off the bat, as mere moments after we’re introduced to Frank’s girlfriend — Roxy, a gravel-voiced, foul-mouthed, drug-addled hooker, reminiscent of a less-refined Amy Winehouse — she engages in a particularly loud and disgusting sexual encounter with Frank. Roxy is gleefully vulgar and gross, hurling graphic, sexual innuendo and insults whenever her mouth isn’t previously engaged with a crack pipe, and her musical, slurred delivery of such delightful lines as, “Shut up, baby dick,” is priceless. Frank’s proudly announced intentions to “make that whore my wife” are subsequently met with horror, albeit of the mostly selfish variety, as Dennis frets that this turn of events, along with Mac’s recent fifty pound “mass” acquisition, is quickly turning the gang is into “the gross crew.” What follows are the equally disastrous attempts of finding Frank a more suitable woman, civilizing Roxy, and, to a lesser extent, getting Mac back in shape.
I can’t even begin to discuss this episode without addressing the literal elephant in the room, Rob McElhenney, whose intentional 50-pound weight gain generated a ton of buzz for this season of Sunny. Throughout the run of the show, Mac has been ridiculously vain and disproportionately proud of his physique and athletic abilities, so the sight of him grossly overweight, carrying around a garbage bag full of Mexican food in a salsa-stained T-shirt provided a great sight gag which definitely lived up to the hype. For the most part, though, the Mac and Dennis subplot was the weakest part of the episode, though I did laugh at Mac’s repeated Brimley-esque pronunciation of “diabetes” and at their acquisition of the Tommy Bahama shirts. I really enjoyed Dee’s storyline, as Kaitlin Olson’s rapid-fire switch from embarrassment at Roxy’s horrific drunken display in the upscale boutique, pouring Peppermint Schnapps on a $500 leather jacket that fits “tighter than dick skin,” to downright awe at the whore’s ability to pay for said jacket with a stack of hundreds was fantastic.
In my opinion, though, the strongest thread of this episode was the Charlie/Frank subplot, in which Charlie arranges a blind date via a millionaire matchmaker site in hopes of finding Frank a woman who’s not solely interested in his money. Posing as wealthy, yet casual, Texas billionaire Hoss Bonaventure, CEO (who’s made a fortune in the boiled denim market), Charlie secures a date with an attractive woman, planning to feign sickness and then pawn her off on Frank, who’s posing as his noble, common-man limo driver. Of course, this plan goes horrifically wrong within moments and the sight of Charlie violently vomiting blood directly into the woman’s face — while shouting in a Southern drawl, “I think I’ve been poisoned by my constituents!” — had me in tears.
“Frank’s Pretty Woman” perfectly culminates in a classic Sunny moment, a glorious proposal scene, featuring Tommy Bahama shirts, a boom box tinnily piping Pachabel’s Canon, and Frank’s pimptastic, rhyming proposal speech. As Frank presents her with the engagement ring, Roxy, her heart overwhelmed by both emotion and massive amounts of crack, collapses dead on the nasty carpet. Without missing a beat, the gang swings into self-preservation mode, deciding that Roxy wouldn’t have wanted them to risk getting into trouble by calling 911, and deliver a quick eulogy (set to the same boom box orchestral of the moments-earlier proposal), before dragging her body into the hallway and fleeing the apartment. The episode gets laughs until the very end, as one of the funniest moments occurs as the credits roll over the scene of the hooker’s corpse lying in the filthy hallway, set to the strains of Roy Orbison’s “Oh, Pretty Woman.”
The season’s second episode, “The Gang Goes To The Jersey Shore,” doesn’t quite live up to the magnificent premiere, but definitely has some solid moments. Judging from the title alone, I expected an over-plucked parody the ubiquitous MTV guido-fest. Luckily, the Always Sunny version of the Jersey Shore isn’t populated by orange-skinned fist-pumpers, but by bands of stray dogs and rum-infused hams, with less GTL and a little more PCP.
The episode starts off with the Reynolds twins excitedly convincing the rest of the gang to join them in a visit to the summer vacation heaven of their childhood, the Jersey Shore. Upon arrival, they realize that a recent toxic waste spill (or “liberal bullshit,” as Mac calls it) has left the beach and boardwalk virtually deserted, aside from the bands of mangy strays and a pair of sexually adventurous hobos. Initially, no one is impressed by the seaside resort other than Charlie, who is intoxicated by his first experiences with both the ocean and drinking sunscreen. The gang soon split apart and their wildly divergent paths on the same summer night culminate in a great montage set to “Vacation” by The Go-Go’s.
For me, the hands down best part of this episode was Charlie’s magical, puppy and firework-filled night on the beach with the girl of his dreams. The Waitress wandered onscreen so randomly, I initially assumed she was a hallucination brought on by Charlie’s rampant sunscreen chugging. It was funny and kind of sweet to see Charlie live out his long-running fantasy, only to have it snatched away when the sun rises and the Waitress, who had taken a bunch of Ecstasy the night before, remembers none of it and immediately reverts to treating Charlie with her customary revulsion and disgust. Charlie takes the whole thing in stride, possessing a sense of childlike wonder at the evening’s events despite the morning’s outcome and his completely non-judgmental observation that, “You’re really off the wagon, huh?” made me laugh, too.
Frank and Mac’s stranded-at-sea subplot was also great and provided a lot of laughs — from the Castaway-esque visual joke of Frank crying out to Rum Ham as it floats away to Mac’s typically over-inflated sense of his own strength, when he offers to “dive down there, spear a tuna, wrestle him on board, we’ll feast,” after the two endure a staggering five minutes without food. Even though it provided a few too-easy guido jokes, I enjoyed the yacht rescue, mostly because I loved seeing a shirtless Frank and Fat Mac partying it up. The return of Rum Ham was pretty glorious, too.
Dennis and Dee easily have the worst vacation experience, one that culminates in their being forced to dig a grave at gunpoint. Aside from the great visual of Dee’s cornrows and a healthy chunk of scalp being ripped from her head on the boardwalk ride and the subsequent trip to the emergency room (also populated with stray dogs), the Reynolds twins’ adventures were the weakest part of the episode and were somewhat predictable. As soon as they got into the van, I knew they were in for a violent, drug-fueled David Fisher-type experience, one which leads Dennis to the eventual conclusion that “There are worse people at the Jersey Shore than the cast of the Jersey Shore!” It’s always funny to see the gang confronted with people even more depraved than they are and I did enjoy watching Dee and Dennis have such a horrific time. Overall, “The Gang Goes To The Jersey Shore,” is a pretty strong episode and I’m looking really looking forward to see what the rest of the season has to offer.
All Photos Credit: FX Networks
Nothing about the gay butt sex?!