Review: WWE Survivor Series

michael dworkis looks at the fall classic …

Survivor Series 2011. A night of returns (yes, plural), a night of a new champion, and a night of … ONE SUPLEX? Seriously WWE, what the hell is going on? I counted ONE suplex all night! Do not, I repeat, do NOT tell me that Cena’s little spinny slam after he ducks the always-predictable wide swing that was preceded by two running shouldertackles is considered a suplex. It is not, it is NOT a suplex. We saw backbreakers, neckbreakers, spinebusters, and throws-a-plenty … but I watched Survivor Series 2011 with four of my friends, and we all agreed to have seen ONE suplex. Are suplexes a rarity? Were they banned with the Piledriver? Oh to hell with it, let’s move on to the review.

Madison Square Garden, the Mecca of entertainment, the place where one man would debut into the wrestling world, and where that same man would make his return to the squared circle. The Rock, made his debut at the 1996 Survivor Series as Rocky Maivia, winning his first-ever match. At the 2011 Survivor Series, The Rock would step back into the ring with partner John Cena to square off against The Miz and R-Truth.

Dolph Ziggler retains the United States Championship over John Morrison

The show began with Dolph Ziggler defending the United States Championship against John Morrison. The match was fast paced as par-the-course for these two. Ziggler, a former World Heavyweight Champion is basking in his bright future. Ziggler continues to impress me every time I watch him, and Morrison only continues to disappoint as he seems unable to break away from his routine of high spot maneuvers. No doubt that Morrison knows how to shock a crowd, but it is time to see something new. The match was well-paced, with many near falls, and Vickie Gurerro was ejected from ringside after caught interfering. Throughout the match, the hot NYC crowd chanted for Zack Ryder. The “Long Island Iced-Z” has become a huge favorite in the WWE Universe, thanks to his use of the internet. Ziggler countered the Starship Pain splash from Morrison, and struck with his falling neckbreaker for the win.

The victory celebration was cut short, as ultimate fan-favorite Zack Ryder appeared before the Garden crowd and downed Ziggler with his finishing move, the Rough Ryder. Will Ryder be next in line for the United States Championship?

Beth Phoenix defeats Eve to retain the Divas Title
This was a lumberjill match, or an excuse to parade all the WWE Divas around ringside in their skimpy spandex. As usual, I openly admit I did not watch the match. Ironically, I boycott watching the Diva matches for the same storyline reasons Beth Phoenix and Natalya turned heel. Although Phoenix is champion, I still cannot bear to watch. However, if you put a gun to my head and asked me to choose between a Diva Match and say, the main event of a TNA Impact Wrestling pay-per-view, I would choose the WWE Divas.

Team Barrett (Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler & Hunico) defeats Team Orton (Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, Mason Ryan & Sheamus) as Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes were the Survivors
This potentially great match began with disaster as Sin Cara mistimed a risky leap to the outside and severely injured himself. Suffering a ruptured patella tendon, Cara was carefully escorted out from the ringside area. Before that happened, Ziggler was eliminated after a swift RKO from Orton. With the sides even, Mason Ryan went to work, taking apart Team Barrett. The British Brute dominated the bout until a team effort took down Ryan, allowing Rhodes to spike him head-first with the Crossroads neckbreaker and take team Orton down a notch. Orton found himself all alone after Sheamus got himself disqualified by beating Swagger past the count of five from the ref. Although the odds were down 4-to-1, The Viper hit the RKO on Swagger. I began to feel worry that this would turn into another Orton-mania rampage of eliminations, as a high-risk leap from Hunico only earned him a mid-air RKO and another elimination. Rhodes and Barrett used their brains to outsmart Orton and Barrett would earn the decisive pinfall following his Wasteland Slam on Orton, giving his team the victory. I love Wade Barrett, and my magic glasses see a championship around his waist very soon. Hunico looks like a watered-down version of a Mexican gang-member, and honestly could not intimidate an infant. Rhodes has grown on me, and I dig his revival of the classic Intercontinental Title. I feel it is still a shame that Ted Dibiase Jr. has not found the same success as Rhodes.

The Big Show defeats Mark Henry by DQ, Henry still World Champion

No one expects a match between two 400-plus pound men to be fast paced, or full of technical wrestling. They showed the ring crews “reinforcing” the ring to prevent it from breaking again. By the word reinforce, I mean, not hitting the button to trip the collapse.

I thought this would be the night The Big Show would see a world title again, but I was clearly wrong. We did get to see the giant climb the top rope. Although it took him about four minutes to get up there, the reward of watching a gigantic elbow-drop was worth the laughable wait. Following the elbow-drop, Henry kicked Show in the baby-show-maker, getting the DQ and ending the match. The best part actually happened after it was over. Show unleashed the WMD Punch, sending Henry to the mat in a heap. Show then trapped the ankle of Henry in a chair, and crushing it, just like the World Champion did to Show a number of months ago.

CM Punk forces Alberto del Rio to submit to the Anaconda Vice, winning his fifth World Title

Becoming the 16th man to win the WWE Title at Madison Square Garden, CM Punk celebrated his victory with those he dedicated his crusade to: The fans. Jumping into the crowd, Punk proclaimed that now is his time to bring meaning and integrity back to the Title, and WWE. For months Punk waited for his chance, and once given, he seized it and successfully held to his word.

Adding a second WWE Title reign to his three World Championship reigns, this victory was also a moment of getting even with Alberto del Rio, who cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase and successfully stole the WWE Title away from Punk at SummerSlam.

Alberto del Rio had Ricardo Rodriguez, but CM Punk brought his own ring announcer tonight. WWE Legend and Hall of Famer Howard Finkel introduced the Second City Saint to the roaring New York City Crowd. The match was intense. To be honest, it was awesome. I have said it before, and will continue to say it. Del Rio is probably one of the best in-ring workers in WWE right now. His mic skills still need some work, but the arrogant aristocrat does his speaking between the ropes. Mostly a mat-based bout with numerous pin attempts and submission holds, Punk and del Rio put on one hell of a match. Del Rio worked over the arm of Punk to warm him up for the Armlock and Punk likewise worked over the neck and shoulder sections on del Rio. The match went over 30-minutes, and not a single one disappointed. The pace picked up as Punk attempted the Go-To-Sleep, but Del Rio countered into his submission Armlock. Punk shuffled furiously to the bottom rope, forcing the champion to break the hold. Del Rio again went in for the win, but Punk struck back at del Rio, finally clamping him into the Anaconda Vice and forcing the submission victory.

The Rock & John Cena defeats The Miz and R-Truth (Rock pinned The Miz)
The most entertaining parts of this match came from Cena and the fans.

Wait.

Did I just say Cena was entertaining? Well, you have to understand it in context. Miz and Truth in the ring, and ignored by the crowd. How so? The crowd chants of “Cena Sucks” were loud and clear. As Cena stepped onto the stage, you could not hear his theme music at all, the boos from the crowd at Madison Square Garden was deafening. Cena took it in stride with a “they love me here!” and a goofy grin as he ran to the ring. The crowd did not let up for a moment as Cena strutted around the ring. The crowd began to quiet, waiting… listening …

Then there it was …

“IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLALALLALLLLALLLLLOOOOWWW …. WHAT THE ROCK … IS … COOKING!”

The crowd exploded. I could hear the noise echoing from the TV and the arena all the way from midtown Manhattan to Fair Lawn, New Jersey. Here he is! The Rock! The Rock is back! The People’s Champion stepped into the ring, and even started the match. The Rock took the fight to Miz and Truth, causing an early four-man brawl which saw The Rock hit the first suplex of the night! Not just any suplex, it was a Hennig-plex (or Perfect-plex)! However, the referee was busy trying to persuade Cena to leave the ring, thus The Rock could not get an early pinfall. Rock and Cena portrayed the obvious distrust for each other quite well. Rock barraged Miz and Truth with a number of arm-drags, hip-tosses, and take-downs, earning a “You still got it” chant from the fans in attendance. The Rock continued his assault until The Miz dared The Great One to tag his partner in. The crowd booing grew louder as The Rock obliged, and tagged in Cena. Cena appeared to have little interest in participating, either furthering his distrust of The Rock, or just maybe, the booing of the New York crowd got to him. Either way he performed as he always does, shouldertackle, shouldertackle, Miz swing-and-a-miss into Cena catching him for his not-at-all-a-suplex-but-a-glorified-slam, followed by the five-knuckle-shuffle. Eventually Cena became the punching bag for the majority of the match, until he finally made the hot tag to The Rock who quickly cleaned house, and ending the match with his spinebuster followed by the People’s Elbow for the pinfall victory.

After the match ended, Cena attempted to leave ringside, but The Rock invited him back into the ring to celebrate, but wound up being booed yet again. The Rock offered his hand to Cena, and like the silly fool, Cena took it and earned himself a Rock Bottom.

The match was good, the crowd reaction, and seeing Cena take it was pretty entertaining. I did not expect much from The Rock, but I did see enough to know that he will certainly be ready come April 1st to go one-on-one with Cena at WrestleMania 28.

Up next is TLC (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs), where I am sure we will see some rematches between Show and Henry, as well as Punk and Alberto del Rio. I wonder where Cena goes from here, and I hope superstars not featured this month, such as Ted Dibiase Jr., Daniel Bryan, and Zack Ryder will earn some ring-time at TLC. The losers of the night will seek retribution, and I wonder what is next for Wade Barrett following his big win over Randy Orton. Also, we have yet to see Kevin Nash in action. The answers to my questions will hopefully see some answers beginning on Monday Night Raw.