ann hale reviews a phantasmagoric film…
In the past few weeks, I have revealed my fears of crabs, spiders and clowns. It’s time to share another one with you. I have Achondroplasiaphobia. In order to avoid offending anyone, I’ll let you Google that one.
There are three reasons I have this irrational fear: One, they look like children but aren’t. Two: I can’t defend myself against them as I can’t punch a child. Three: Phantasm.
Mike, whose parents have died inexplicably, is being raised by his older brother, Jody. There have been multiple mysterious murders in the town and upon attending the funeral with Jody, Mike seeing the mortician, The Tall Man, lifting a coffin by himself. This gives him the theory that The Tall Man is behind all of the deaths and is determined to prove it.
Dragging along their friend Reggie, Mike and Jody break into a mausoleum to find proof of The Tall Man’s misdeeds. When split up, Mike is chased by these alien dwarves before The Tall Man sends out flying metal balls with spikes and drills that come out of them. He then find a room with a portal to another dimension where he finds that the dwarves are actually the murder victims, dug up and changed to be used as slaves. Now they must stop The Tall Man and escape before their fate is the same.
Phantasm is a spooky gore fest with an original story and a shock of an ending. It’s scary enough to be around dead people at night, but the idea of someone desecrating your grave and turning you into an undead dwarf slave is just wrong. I mean, how insecure is The Tall Man if he needs you to be that short?
If you did what I told you and Googled my phobia, you know what I thought was the scariest part of the movie. However, on the opposite side of the spectrum, Angus Scrimm aka The Tall Man, is pretty damn scary himself. Even though he is only 6’ 4”, they make him look 8 feet tall. Plus, he has this crazy eye that just weirds me out.
I also desperately want one of those flying balls. The spikes on those things look crazy intense and that drill is beyond brutal. You could just send one of those babies after every jerk that cuts you off in traffic or blocks the aisle at the store with their cart. By the way, if that happens, it wasn’t me.