ann hale doesn’t mess with texas…
In 1974, director Tobe Hooper released the terrifying gore fest The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now, in 1974, that was considered to be true but, by horror standards today, the film isn’t that gory. The 2003 remake, however, goes above and beyond with the blood and guts. Now, normally, I would just watch the original but this year I am spending Halloween with my cousin Andrew in New York and I like to save the most screwed up and bloody movies to watch with him. As my flight just came in today, I thought we should start these last five days with a bang.
Five teenagers are driving through Texas on their way to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert on their way back from Mexico. On the way, they pick up this hitchhiker who looks just awful. Once inside their van, she starts babbling about there being this bad man who killed everyone and freaks out that they are driving towards him instead of away. To prevent herself from having to go back there, she produces a gun from between her legs and blows her brains out all over the back of the van.
The teens are now stuck with bloody brain chunks and a body with a hole in its face. When they go to call for help, they find that the sheriff and his family are a bunch of disfigured backwoods murderers and these teens are the next to enter their house of slaughter.
The movie really starts when that girl blows her face off. If you weren’t prepared for what was coming to you, you definitely are after seeing that. I mean, a guy gets his leg cut off and then he is hung from a meat hook, a guy gets his face skinned off, another guy gets cut from crotch to face with a chainsaw, and yet, the girl blowing her face off still manages to get a bigger reaction out me than any of the other deaths. God, with the sweltering Texas summer heat, you know that body had to just stink in that van and then having to scoop brain chunks and skull pieces out of your vehicle….Makes me cringe.
I will not say that the remake is better than the original because, after all, there wouldn’t be a remake without Tobe Hooper’s creation. What I will say, however, is that this is one of the best remakes I have ever seen.
Lesson learned: If you ever find yourself driving through backwoods Texas, don’t stop for any reason.
