Did you watch the massacre which was the Super Bowl last night? The Legion of Boom, the Seattle Seahawks trounced the Denver Broncos 43-to-8. Denver was pretty pitiful. I found funny meme I saw online showed Peyton Manning with the caption “I tried throwing in the towel… But it was intercepted.”
I’m not much of a sports guy. So what the hell am I talking about anyway?
I am sure most of you watched the commercials…but I think we can all agree that the only ones which will likely be remembered are the important ones, movie trailers.
So…which of these teaser trailers successful in leaving us wanting for more?
Muppets Most Wanted:
The teaser does not give much about the plot, although I am thinking clones, Russia, and lots of silliness. The teaser goes overload on the social media train, which is a bit of a turn-off. I get it is likely making fun of Twitter and critics in one shot, but it takes away from what I want to see, which are Muppets! Of course ,there is only so much to cram into so little time, so we get to see traveling through Europe and what looks like a clone of Kermit. Or an evil twin. Lots of cameos and a funny conclusion.
Teaser Success: Moderate
Apparently, Noah is a warrior badass fending off villains and rebellious animals from taking over his project, the U.S.S. Ark. I must have missed this chapter during my Torah classes. Obviously this will result in a generation of young children and more likely dimwitted teenagers who will believe the story of Noah and the Ark was an all out-assault rather than the spiritual journey of one man to save humankind. The trailer shows a lot of action, which is more likely to garner interest than showing Noah sitting on a rock contemplating his own existence.
Teaser Success: Very Little
Another piece of crap. Oh look, a fraternity moves right in the middle of a quiet neighborhood and instantly earns the ire of a young couple next door who have just welcomed a newborn into their lives. The frat agrees to keep the volume down, but soon parties go out of control and Seth Rogen calls the cops. The frat gets revenge by making the lives of Seth Rogen and family a living hell. Jackass-type pranks, women kissing, and all the stereotypical college party behavior crammed into a worthless trailer. My question is, none of the OTHER neighbors had a problem?
Teaser Success: ZERO, but I’m sure the teenage crowd totally thinks this is something which could really happen
Amazing Spider-Man 2:
Our heroic webslinger gets more than he could bargain for as we get some clear shots of (Green?) Goblin, Rhino, and Electro. Gwen Stacey is in big trouble and if this is the film which follows the comic book narrative, we know where she’s headed. The movie clearly continues its serious and dark tone, but a nice comedy spot at the end reminds us it’s still a comic book. Big battles and more mind-shattering revelations appear to be the focus of the film and Peter Parker may never be the same after this.
Teaser Success: Want More!
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Like Spidey, we have seen some teasers already, but this one continues to show some impressive effects. It also shows what appears to be the ultimate showdown between Steve “Captain America” Rogers and his beliefs of truth and justice as he is confronted by both Robert Redford and the appearance of Russia’s Winter Soldier (who comic fans know is a figure from Cap’s past come back to haunt him). Once again, Marvel crafts a short teaser but with enough to excite us for the film’s release.
Teaser Success: Want More!
Transformers 4: Age of Extinction
The trailer was not as bad as it could have been. We all have this love/hate relationship with Michael Bay. We criticize him to no end, yet we come back to each and every movie he makes. This time, we get the fourth installment of the Transformers live-action franchise. We see Optimus Prime get his guts shot out, hung upside down in some sort of chamber, starships cruising about Earth, and of course, silly humans. Mark Wahlberg and company cry in vain for help as they are dragged into the conflict between the humans and their Cybertronian emigrants. Sparks and explosions fly and the last thing we see is who appears to be Optimus Prime riding atop a giant T-Rex, presumably fan-favorite Dinobot Grimlock. Giant robot dinosaurs! Whoo-hooo!
Teaser Success: Bay be Damned, Want More!
Need for Speed: Paul Walker is probably rolling over in his grave. What? Too soon? This movie is a clear-cut rip off of Fast and the Furious. Crappy trailer and cliché racing catchphrases. Will probably fill the void for some, but I feel its just shoving a square peg in a round hole. Just doesn’t work.
3 Days to Kill: Kevin Coster is a ruthless spy who kills his targets within three days. He wants out of the business, as do most international hitman, but he has to do one last job. Sound like any other movie yet? The catch is he is visiting his teenage daughter and her new boyfriend while having to do his final job. I bet there are complications.
Draft Day: Kevin Coster in another one! This time as a cutthroat NFL agent trying to make the best team. Co-starring Dennis Leary and Frank Langella, this one will be see by sports-fanatics and no one else.
RoboCop: We have already seen enough trailers on television to show us only those who never saw the original will be able to tolerate what is expected to be a crappy remake. The stellar cast is my reason for having any interest in this film.
We also had trailers for Monuments Men and Pompeii, which given the nature of the films, the Super Bowl versions of the teasers did not really give us anything new. Pompeii will be on a similar level to Pearl Harbor or Titanic, so, hope for those who failed or have yet to take a history course, prepare to be shocked. Monuments Men, also based on true events, has a great cast and definitely on my movie list for 2014.