Written by Scott Clifford
A curious thought bloomed after watching “House Call” today. This thought was planted in the first episode of this season but this latest episode confirms it. Archer may be the main character of the show. He may be a suave man-child who is good with guns and obscure entertainment references. He may even be the biggest reason for the failure of ISIS. Yet in spite of all of this, he is NOT the craziest character on the show anymore. In fact, Archer is now on the fringes like the rest of us, commenting on the insanity of everyone around him while sipping on a stiff drink for breakfast. “House Call” theorizes that Archer may be slowly maturing into an adult. Of course one could argue that anyone would mature after being around people like Pam and Cheryl. That’s why it’s brilliant.
Cyrill starts the episode off by pointing out that the gang has lost almost 25 percent of their supply of coke without making any real profit out of it through a slightly inappropriate numerical graph. Archer cracks a few jokes and points out that most of their loss is due to Pam upsetting the Yakuza and developing a serious cocaine addiction. Malory suggests that they should force Pam to go to rehab. Pam disagrees as Archer notices her flattering figure that is a byproduct of heavy cocaine use. Pam threatens to go to the cops as Woodhouse knocks her out with a frying pan.
Lana ties Pam up to a chair as they talk about tit bondage porn when Malory suggests that they should kill Pam by giving her a cocaine overdose. Cheryl freaks out when she learns that Lana is pregnant with a real baby as Krieger shows his improved mind control chip. This causes Malory to remember one of her ex-boyfriends which Ron doesn’t appreciate as he is still recovering from a gunshot wound. Pam hulks out, breaks out of her chair, throws Cheryl over her shoulder, and escapes into another hidden room of the mansion.
To make things worse, the FBI makes an unwanted appearance outside of Cheryl’s mansion. Cyrill, the only one who seems to have any brains at this point, tries to explain the laws that govern the search and seizure procedures of the FBI. Unfortunately, Woodhouse lets the FBI agent, whose name is Agent Holly, into their home so he can do whatever he wants just like a vampire. Cyrill tries to use his knowledge of the law to point out that the agent must leave since there is no immediate illegal activity in plain view. That’s when everyone hears someone screaming and the FBI agent runs after her while explaining that he can now run a “protective sweep”. Now the game is to keep Agent Holly from seeing the cocaine. Malory suggests that they tranquilize Holly, dress up in woman’s clothes with Woodhouse, and take some pictures to blackmail him. Pam and Cheryl then find Gillette crying in his underwear.
Krieger reveals that Gilette can walk again with a simple reboot of his cybernetic spine. Then Lana shoots Woodhouse with a tranquilizer dart as she hides in the prison room with the cocaine. Archer reveals that he is concerned about Lana’s well being and correctly theorizes that she is thinking of going into witness protection. Lana appreciates his concern while wondering why he doesn’t have access to an internet connection. Archer shows that he hasn’t completely changed by suggesting that Lana run for it after performing oral sex on him.
Agent Holly starts to bang on the door, cutting off Lana’s only means of escape. Holly then exclaims that he’s coming a little too often for it to be normal while Cheryl leads Pam to more cocaine. Ron leaves Malory due to the news about her ex-boyfriend. Cyrill and Krieger discover that the wall that the cocaine is sitting on can be spun around. They spin the wall back around in order to tranquilize Pam and Cheryl. Holly finds nothing in the room by the time he breaks down the door and explains that he’s going to watch all of them like a hawk, eagle hybrid. Cyrill convinces Krieger to use his only mind control chip on Cheryl because of Pam’s voluptuous figure. Cheryl is now Cherlene. She dresses up like a stereotypical country girl and threatens to burn the house down if someone doesn’t cook her breakfast. This will end well.
It’s amazing to see that the writers have been able to create hilarious episodes that stay in one location the whole time. It is an extreme departure from the rest of the series that is working for some unexplainable reason. Pam’s cocaine addiction hasn’t turned into an annoying plot point because she is changing into a character that everyone likes more. It’s a not-so-subtle commentary on how people enable their friends who have serious problems because they like them more that way. It’s also great to see Archer and Lana slowly coming together as a real couple due to the meddling of Agent Holly who is probably more of a sexual deviant that Archer is. It makes me want to see the next episode as I write this article. This is great stuff.