TV Recap: (Monday Night) RAW is Hugh Jackman

The Wyatt Family gimmick has just reached a level of epic-ness which may never be repeated. A children’s choir?! Wearing masks! Singing that song “He’s got the whole world… In his hands…” Good lord almighty Primus. John Cena questioning the loyalty of the WWE Universe is yet another great turn for this feud, and finally a potential turn for John Cena. Having crowds telling him he sucks, cheering for Bray Wyatt, you would think in storyline Mr. Cena might be having second thoughts about being the company poster boy. He questions why the crowd is not as supportive of a number of rising stars, yet they choose the wayward Wyatts.

The Cena promo was pretty good, watching the guy always accepting when the fans boo him suddenly question their sanity. However, the singing choir of children then donning the goat masks was truly a spine-chilling scene. Bray rocking in his chair, back and forth, with a child on his lap. The hairs on my arms stood right up. Chilling. Pure awestriking.

This, is genius, thanks to WWE embracing the reality of the fans. I have heard this era being called the “Reality Era” and right now I cannot think of a better term.

In a match I really cannot call entertaining, The Usos retained the WWE Tag Team Championships against Ryback and Curtis Axel. Sorry, but the match was lacking any sort of spark, and I felt Ryback once again sleptwalk through the match while Axel appeared to really put his all into it. I feel for the son of Mr. Perfect, he is really trying, but he is missing the IT factor. Even being paired with Paul Heyman during his run as Intercontinental Champion did nothing for him. Some people, no matter if they have managers or titles, are just not ready for the spotlight. Ryback had his time, he had his push, and flopped worse than Goldberg’s run in WWE. Axel… just be Joe Hennig already. #RetireRyback

“Exotic” Adam Rose is coming to RAW… Next week. All aboard!

Oh Titus, how far are we falling? I first thought he was going to get a push, but right now he is being pushed into an oncoming freight train. He beats up Sheamus before the bell, but once it rings, Sheamus blasts O’Neal with the Brough kick, pinning him in about 18 seconds. Sound familiar? #SheamusSmash

Dolph Ziggler is headed to the ring, but not to wrestle, since we have had enough seeing him job every week. Instead, we get a clip of X-Men: Days of Futures Past and our guest for tonight, Hugh Jackman. This guy is funny. Funnier, is when they show his last appearance where he dislocates Ziggler’s jaw out of his face. Oops. Gets even better, as Damien Sandow embraces his inner-comedian and comes out in a Magneto costume. After numerous attempts to silence the crowd, he then tries to use the Force, or something, and winds up eating a hip-toss from Jackman, then a Zig-Zag from Ziggles. Funny stuff. #SillySandow.

Paul Heyman cuts such a great promo. Heyman is truly inspirational. He can piss off a crowd with a mere smirk. Cesaro defeats Swagger after Heyman and Zeb Colter get into it, and call me crazy, but I would love to see a match between the two managers. We get a match between Cesaro and Swagger which should have gone longer, but ends when Cesaro scores a German Suplex with a bridge for the pinfall victory. When was the last time we saw that happen?! #HilariousHeyman

Backstage: Renee is unsuccessful in getting Cena to comment on earlier tonight. #SadCena

Break ups happen. Get used to it. Goldust and Cody Rhodes will be splitting up soon as Cody endures another loss, this time to Alberto del Rio. Cody wants none of his brother it seems. #GlumGoldust.

Alexander Rusev makes short work of Xavier Woods. The victory comes by DQ as R-Truth interferes. Rusev is then forced to retreat, as we are reminded he takes on both Truth and Woods at Extreme Rules. #JobberFodder

Backstage: Zeb Colter offers an alliance with Rob Van Dam to take on Paul Heyman. RVD declines the offer. #ConfoundedColter

3MB defeats Los Matadores. Hornswoggle and El Torito fight. I refuse to say anything more. #BleedingEyes

Stephanie McMahon comes out and explains how she can no longer control Kane. He is reverting back to his old monster routine, which is good, because Corporate Kane got stale real fast. She wants Daniel Bryan to come out so she can personally apologize. Daniel Bryan does come out, and brings Brie Bella, his wife with him. I’ll make this short and sweet. Bryan calls Steph a liar. Steph says she isn’t lying. Bryan still thinks she is lying. Steph gives Brie a Divas Title Match. Says she has Kane’s mask under lockdown. Before we get to the Divas match, we see Kane’s mask is missing from the sealed case. Brie and Paige have a decent match, bit sloppy, but is inevitably interrupted by Kane, who comes THROUGH the ring. Awesome stuff. He nearly pulls Brie underneath, but Bryan whacks him with a wrench. Kane does the ol’ Undertaker sit-up routine, since that’s OK again, and chokeslams Bryan. Brie and Bryan escape, and Kane looks damn scary again. About damn time. #KanesAKillerAgain

Backstage: Renee does get a word from Cena, who admits to being speechless, but promises a fight at Extreme Rules. #StillSadCena

Locker Room: Stephanie pleads her innocence about being involved with Kane. Like an award-winning actress Brie screams “get out you bitch!” to a crying Steph. #SobbingSteph

Bad News Barrett is freaking awesome! The crowd is 100% behind him as he calls RVD a geezer and robs his catchphrase by promising victory for B-N-B, doing the whole thumb-pointing and all. #BnB. Good news for everyone, as thanks to interference from both Cesaro and Swagger, my Wade Barrett clobbers RVD with the Raging Bull Hammer for the pinfall victory, and the #1 Contender’s spot at Extreme Rules. Great match, and I love RVD as much as the next ECW fan, but the guy is slowing down. He can hit his usual spots, but he seemed very sluggish and unable to keep up. #BestInTheBarrett #RVDRetirementParty

Incredible main event to close the show. Evolution comes out, Triple H, thankfully does majority of the talking. The Shield comes out and we are about to brawl until…

… RIC FLAIR! The Nature Boy himself is on RAW, slurring his lines about dominance and power in wrestling, but turns out he was referring to the Shield! HHH, Batista, and Orton are peeved, and we get our main event match between Orton and Reigns. Match goes evenly until the other members of the respective trios get involved, and an all-out brawl ensues. For a while it appears Evolution have crushed their opposition until Rollins out of nowhere turns the tide and Reigns mauls everyone. They are about to Triple-Bomb the COO but Batista and Orton save him. Shield members grab chairs and chase off their antagonists. #RomanReignsSupreme

This was one hell of a show. Kudos to WWE for really stepping up the program. This show, from the start was damn entertaining. The Wyatt promo was so damn creepy I had chills every time they replayed it.

Cena is accepting people really hate him, maybe his character will just go loony. Extreme Rules looks to be a great looking PPV.

If you have DirectTV or DISH, then I’m afraid I’ve got some BAD NEWS. They won’t carry the PPV because they are run by whiny-ass-children who don’t like the WWE Network. Congrats you morons, if your customers turn to the WWE Network, they will NEVER order another goddamn pay-per-view ever again because they are getting is cheaper. Maybe you enjoy losing business.

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