Film Review: Evils of Night

A couple of idiot mechanics are hired by aliens to kidnap teenagers for experiments and for their blood, which the aliens need to survive.

Full of all of the best parts of 80’s horror, Evils of the Night provides bad hair, music, acting clothes and special effects. Did I mention nudity? Because the sheer amount of nudity in the first twenty minutes alone is astounding. I suppose this is what happens when you cast porn stars in your movie.

The first five minutes are full of some of the most awkward and explicit scenes, which force you to wonder if you are actually watching a horror movie or straight up porn. There is a scene where a chick is getting it doggy style while the guy is being strangled to death, which is almost exactly like the headless sex scene from Hatchet 2. In addition, the sex scenes have some of the strangest music choices. At one point, the sex is kind of raunchy but the music is reminiscent of Lionel Richie and Diana Ross, which would be the equivalent of playing Marilyn Manson in a daycare.

Starring as the aliens in the film are Julie Newmar, John Carradine and Tina Louise. Their costumes are made out of cheap, shiny fabric and every time they are in a room together, their voices echo like in The Twilight Zone. Each wears a ring, which looks like a black Lego with green Lite-Brite pieces glued to it, that shoots lasers and they are followed by synthesizer music everywhere they go. It makes me think of The Rocky Horror Picture Show without the great song and dance.

Now, the movie is marketed as having “some of the most gruesome special effects ever put on film.” I would like to talk about that. I don’t know what movies they have been watching, but they certainly weren’t watching horror films in the past thirty years. The weapons are obviously rubber with metal sound effects and three quarters of the murders are done with cut away shots so you don’t see them anyway.

They never really explain why the aliens are here and kidnapping teenagers. We get that they want their blood and that they are paying the mechanics in gold coins to do so but there is never a real hint as to WHY. Then the film ends with no logical conclusion or answers in any way.

I had high hopes for this movie considering the cast and awful plot line but I honestly have no idea what I just watched. I cannot, in good conscience, tell you that Evils of the Night was a good movie, because it definitely was not. What I CAN tell you is that it was so incredibly horrible that it was almost fun to watch.

I have a feeling that this is one of those movies that I will think about all week and have to watch again, enjoying it more the second time around. I suppose we will see. In the meantime, I will let you see and judge for yourself.

http://youtu.be/Fdso2Phy360

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Ann Hale is the horror editor for Pop-Break.com and a senior contributing writer, reviewing horror movies and television shows. She is also the American Correspondent for Lovehorror.co.uk. Ann attended East Carolina University, majoring in English Literature. She is a collector of Halloween (the film) memorabilia and is a self-admitted opinionated horror nerd. You can follow her, her collection and her cat, Edward Kittyhands on Twitter and Instagram @Scarletjupiter
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