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Review: Hell in a Cell 2014

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The Preshow saw Miz and Mizdow mimic each other, at some point I wasn’t sure who was doing the talking. Sandow at this point is outclassing Miz, and that is not a good thing for Miz right now if they are trying to continue to push his arrogant Hollywood a-hole gimmick. As predicted, we got Mark Henry in yet another match against Bo Dallas, but unlike the past two months, Henry picked up a decisive victory by squashing the cream filling out of the inspirational young star.

Kicking off the PPV is the Best-of-Three between Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler defending against Cesaro. Fantastic back-and-forth. Cesaro hit a huge underhook Powerbomb, and carried the Show Off with a cradle Suplex from the ring, to the top turnbuckle, all the way back to the mat. The most shocking part, Ziggler retaining the championship by winning two falls back-to-back. Yes, that’s right, it did not go to a third fall. Easily earned the “This is Awsome chant.”

Winner: Dolph Ziggler via two consecutive pinfalls

 

In one of the most atrocious displays ever, Nikki Bella defeats Brie Bella. No one cared, but the concession stands rejoiced.

 

The Usos versus The Dusts for the WWE Tag Team Championships

Awesome match, usual spots plus some bonus material. Sounds like a DVD, right? Seriously though, great showing by both teams. Saw more aggressive style from the Usos this time, while we got solid tags between the Dusts. Great double top-rope superplex spot, which was followed by an Uso splash, but no pinfall. With an assist by Cody, Dustin hit the twisting Suplex for the title-retaining victory.

Winner and still WWE Tag Team Champions: The Dusts

 

In a shocker, we get our first Hell in the Cell bout, between John Cena and Randy Orton. Finally, WWE is smart enough to realize Cena and Orton do not need to close every event. In a relatively slow match, in which Orton wrecked Cena’s nuts twice, went for a pin attempt after a single chair-shot. Because the last time anyone won after a single chair shot was likely back in 1995. Anyone else notice how Orton leaked sweat all over the place while Cena did not shed a single drop? Plenty of “Outtanowhere” moments from Michael Cole as Orton hit an RKO in counter to a shoulderblock and to Cena’s Attitude Adjustment. Sadly, the shoulderblock-into-RKO was more impressive. Cena just kept hitting AAs over and over, but realized he needed a table. So an AA through a table got Cena an extremely anti-climatic feeling of victory.

Winner: John Cena

 

United States Championship Match: The Miz vs. Sheamus

The power of acting. The star of this match was easily “Mizdow” with his dead-on imitation of Miz getting pummeled from one end of the ring to the other. Miz had some offense, but the focus was clearly on Sandow’s antics. Miz eats a Brough Kick while coming off the top, and the Celtic Warrior retains. Post match, Sheamus plays with Miz like a puppet, and Sandow perfectly copies every move, and they all dance to YMCA.

Winner and still U.S. Champion: Sheamus

 

Big Show vs. Alexander Rusev

For a moment you thought Show had a chance. Mark Henry came down to the ring, and did not interfere. Show hit a chokeslam, but things went south as Rusev clocked both Show and Henry, and eventually locked on the Accolade. Now, they rang the bell and Cole stated Show tapped out, but it looked more like he passed out. Good match between a goliath and a behemoth.

Winner by submission: Rusev

 

Divas Championship: Paige w/ Alicia Fox vs. AJ Lee

Solid match, and as predicted, best feud the Divas have in years. Even exchange of offense from both, until Paige took a nasty fall off the crowd barrier, appearing to land on the back of her head. Alicia Fox rolled her friend back into the ring to beat the ten count, but only allowed for AJ Lee to lock on the Black Widow submission for the win. Post match, Paige smacks Fox. No more friends.

Winner and still Divas Champion: AJ Lee

 

The MAIN EVENT! Hell in the Cell Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

These two beat the hell out of each all over the place, mostly on top of the damn cell and then plummeting through BOTH announce tables simultaneously. That, was before the bell even rang. Once the bell rang, all insanity continued to break loose. Ambrose and Rollins beat the hell out of each enough to force Mick Foley to smile with whatever teeth he has left. Chairs, kendo sticks, even an almost-used screwdriver. Cinderblocks nearly came into play also. Ambrose turned Rollins inside out with his Slingshock Lariat, but before he could do his own version of the Curb Stomp, the lights… Went OUT. Dark. Suddenly, a lantern was in the ring, with a ghost-like image floating above it. Suddenly, a wild BRAY WYATT appeared! Bum-rushing Ambrose and cleaning his clock. Rollins makes the easy pinfall, and the live crowd is not happy. Bray further infuriates everyone by hitting Sister Abigail post match.

Winner in a great main event match: Seth Rollins

I am slightly disappointed Rollins won in this fashion, however this does mean we see a one-on-one feud between Ambrose and Wyatt, which I would very much look forward to. We know John Cena will challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship at some point. We also know Cesaro and Randy Orton have common losing streaks in big time matches. I worry for Cesaro. I really thought he was going to finally get a big win, but this time I was wrong, and Dolph Ziggler, to his credit earned the huge victory tonight. Well deserved. I hope he moves up the roster, closing in on some RAW main events. Miz losing was not a big surprise, and I see some sort of dissention between him and his “stunt-double” in the very near future.

As always, tomorrow night on RAW will dictate the pace heading towards Survivor Series, which is the precursor to the Road to WrestleMania, the Royal Rumble in January. Not so far away.

 

Quick Results:

 

Mark Henry squashed Bo Dallas

Dolph Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Championship against Cesaro

The Dusts retained the WWE Tag Team Championships against The Usos

Nikki Bella defeated Brie Bella, Brie is now Nikki’s “assistant” for a month

John Cena defeats Randy Orton in the Hell in the Cell

Sheamus retained the United States Championship against The Miz w/Damien Mizdow

Rusev defeated Big Show by submission

AJ Lee retains the Divas Championship against Paige

Seth Rollins defeated Dean Ambrose in the Hell in the Cell Main Event after Bray Wyatt interfered.

Michael Dworkis
Michael Dworkishttps://thepopbreak.com/
Michael Dworkis is a Senior Writer and has been part of the The Pop Break family since 2010. For over a decade he has contributed columns featuring Anime, Comics, Transformers, Television, Movies, and most notably, Professional Wrestling. Additionally, one of the key players in the original Angry Nerds column and a periodic guest on one of Bill's various podcasts. If not grinding away at his next feature, or shouting expletives while gaming or watching wrestling, Michael maintains a full-time job as a Mental Health Professional at a medical group, and runs a telehealth private practice.
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