7. The Morning After
Classic/Terrible Love Song: ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ by John Mayer Rockin’ Replacement: ‘Turn Out The Lights’ by Steel Panther
Let’s start with the guy who your girlfriend wishes you were, John Mayer. Pretty good guitar player, and he wastes it on sleep inducing pop music. Nevertheless, here we are with his name on a list. “Your Body is a Wonderland” is a song that everyone knows, and probably has heard. Closer examination of the lyrics gives us a song about a guy tenderly and gently exploring the body a beautiful woman is a hotel room for two. “But you look so good it hurts sometimes.” Yep, because people you randomly meet in hotels and have sex with are all gorgeous. “Take all your big plans and break ’em, this is bound to be a while.” John, if you have sex the way you play guitar, it’s going to be about a minute of awkward finger placement with some really weird faces. That’s why Steel Panther’s “Turn out the Lights” Is a much better choice for a love song. It tells the story of a guy exploring a girl, because he’s not actually sure if she is one. “We’ve all had indiscretions, I think you’re my biggest yet.” The best part about this song is that while its sung from the male perspective, ladies can appreciate this one too. I’m sure some of you have woken up to a dude that went from sexy lumberjack to just Jack, the guy waiting for aliens under the bridge.
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