5. Monogamy Isn’t The Only Type of Wood We’re Talking About
Classic/Terrible Love Song: ‘Faithfully’ by Journey Rockin’ Replacement: ‘Community Property’ by Steel Panther
You guys still with me here? Good, because those two songs only last about 7 minutes, and even though you do too, you need to make sure you throw some songs for cuddling in there. It’ll show that you’re sensitive and shit. And nothing is more sensitive than commitment. Your significant other wants to know that you will always think about them and remain faithful, even when the distance between you is greater than 5.5 inches. Journey’s “Faithfully” is a song about just that, making it the go to song for weddings and cheesy movie montages everywhere. “Wondering where I am/Lost without you,” “I’m forever yours/Faithfully.” The road is tough but by God these two will stay together! Or, and this is just a suggestion, you can get real with me. Life on the road is tough, especially for musicians. Booze, drugs, women, it’s basically a never ending party! And we are only human after all. “’Cause my heart belongs to you/My love is pure and true/My heart belongs to you/But my cock is community property.” Having this song on your playlist will ensure that your SO knows that you love them with all of your heart and mind, but sometimes that thing downstairs has a mind of its own. So don’t get pissed or nothing, ok?
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