Tonight is Extreme Rules. What is extreme about tonight anyway?
The New Day challenges The Brass Ring Club for the Tag Team Championships
At this stage it is two heel teams facing off, even though the gimmick here is how much hate can the New Day earn. Cesaro and Kidd are cheered because they are good and fans like them. Fans don’t like bad racial profiling gimmicks which take three talented guys and lump them into something stupid. Might as well make them the Nation of Domination 2.0. Where is Clarence Mason when you need him?
Winners and still WWE Tag Team Champions: The Brass Ring Club
John Cena defends the U.S. Championship against Rusev in a Russian Chain Match
This is a glorified four-corners match. That’s all. The chain will be used as a weapon, Cena will roar and rage, Rusev will stomp and swear. If you have low expectations, even then I fear you will be disappointed. I once thought this feud could have been better, but with Cena making the United States Championship into WWE’s version of the Television Championship, we know where this is heading.
Winner and still Champion: John Cena
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper in a Chicago Street Fight
Insert city name here match. Street Fight, Falls Count Anywhere, No DQ, it’s all the same. With Ambrose and Harper, gimmicks are not needed. This will likely be match of the night. Ambrose is being built up to be WWE’s “Hardcore” wrestler, shades of Mick Foley not quite, but along those lines. Harper can go three minutes or thirty. Expect this one to be awesome, but expect the outcome you didn’t want. Ambrose will lose because he doesn’t need to be a winner. He is just a guy who will go to whatever lengths needed to dish out the hurt, but will ultimately leave himself a beaten mess.
Winner: Luke Harper
Big Show vs. Roman Reigns in a Last Man Standing
More like last fan awake. Reigns went from main eventing WrestleMania to going back to a feud which went nowhere. No one cares, but we know who wins.
Winner: Roman Reigns because Big Show has to make him look strong
Naomi vs. Nikki Bella for the Diva’s Championship
I wish I could care, except all the Divas have to now be evil sinister bitches because of Total Divas. Lame.
Winner and still Divas Champion: Nikki Bella
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus in a Kiss Me Arse Match
I want to look forward to this one, but I have a bad feeling of failure here. I hope I am wrong. Ziggler can always put on a great showing, and Sheamus could however he is often inconsistent and this match may suffer for it. The new gimmick is good for the Celtic Warrior, he can get away with vicious beatdowns. This should likely be a good match, however there is nothing to be gained or lost here. Ziggler will stay where he is, while Sheamus… Who knows where he will go.
Winner: Sheamus
Intercontinental Championship: Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
Here is the match I want to see. It will mostly be a brawl, because WWE is too afraid of another injury with Bryan. There was a scare two weeks ago, so do not expect any high-impact or high-risk stunts. But, I could be wrong. Bryan is known for going his own way. Occasionally WWE will pull a swerve with an unexpected title change, but not tonight.
Winner and still IC Champion: Daniel Bryan
WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins in a Steel Cage
I just don’t care. All the possible interference and shenanigans which could prevent this from being good. Yes, I said this could be a good match. Randy Orton has proven he can put on a good match when placed in the right situation. Rollins can carry a can of tuna, so carrying Orton is no problem. Orton is also able to wrestle long bouts, while his counterpart Cena needs a rest hold break every five minutes. Rollins will perform some crazy shit to make our eyeballs shoot out of our sockets, but then end of the match will have us all booing and hating The Authority stable even more. It does not make sense for Rollins to lose anyway.
Winner and still WWE Champion: Seth Rollins
To be perfectly honest, this is one giant pay-per-view featuring a bunch of gimmick matches, and there is nothing “Extreme” about it. If this was to be an “Extreme” event, the stipulations should have been:
John Cena vs. Rusev in a Singapore Cane Match
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper in a Scaffold Match
Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett in a Ladder Match
Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Best 2-out-of-3 Falls match
Big Show vs. Roman Reigns in a Falls Count Anywhere
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins in a Hell in the Cell match
These would have been much better. In any case, I do expect this to be an above-average show as the build for SummerSlam begins. Expect Bray Wyatt to call out his next opponent tonight as well.
