Didn’t we just have a pay-per-view? We sure did. It was Payback.
Is there another one coming up? We sure do. Money in the Bank.
Tonight, we focus on the Elimination Chamber. We have two Elimination Chamber Matches, and a number of eyebrow-raising singles bouts.
Pre-Show: Daniel Bryan on Miz TV
This will likely be either a straight-talk segment with Miz “getting gritty” and “asking the hard questions” except Bryan already publically stated he might be done with in-ring competition. This could result in some history between the two, bringing up Tough Enough, the original NXT, and how The Miz will likely take credit for the success of Daniel Bryan, and the turn arrogant heel, berating Bryan for being a failure.
John Cena vs. Kevin Owens – NOT for the United States Championship
It would not ever shock me if one day Cena became NXT Champion, because crazy happens in WWE. This will be a closely watched match. I can say Cena will sell the hell out of anything Owens dishes out. I believe we will get the result most wanted by fans, since it is not a title match. This will be a must-see match as Owens is the fastest rising star through the NXT ranks onto the main roster.
Winner: FIGHT OWENS FIGHT
Maybe the die-hard fans will chant “Kill Owens Kill!”
Adrian Neville vs. Bo Dallas
This will be a match to see how Neville can tee off on Dallas. I would be shocked if Dallas is scripted to get the win, but it would not 100% surprise me. Dallas has been off television for a long time, with sporadic appearances to piss off and have his ass kicked by someone. Based on his recent facial growth, the guy is looking more and more “Wyatt” by the day. Someone call the CW because this one is ending with a Red Arrow.
Winner: Neville
Speaking of Arrows, Star Dust issued an open challenge to Stephen Amell to face him. I want Star Dust to go all crazy Joker now…
Divas Title Triple Threat Match: Naomi vs. Paige vs. Nikki Bella
I feel ashamed to say this, but I have some interest in the outcome of this match. I have no interest in watch the match itself, because now I’ve been spoiled with the epic-level of competition from the women in NXT. Maybe the participants in this match will up their game, if possible.
Winner: Paige
Honestly, forget the crappy #GiveDivasAChance gimmick, and let’s change it to #PutNXTWomenOnTheMainRoster
Intercontinental Championship Elimination Chamber Match aka King of the Mid Card:
King Barrett, Sheamus, Rusev, R-Truth, Ryback, and Dolph Ziggler
As much as my kids want to see King Barrett win, because “he has a crown,” that is all he has going for him. Recently jobbing to R-Truth is just all sorts of pathetic. You know what, I am rooting for R-Truth. He’s off TV for months, returns, and suddenly is in all these mid-tier championship situations. He was in the King of the Ring, and now the Chamber. As much as I want to see Ryback with the title, because I’m off my meds at the moment, let’s just go with Shock of the Century and put the strap on R-Truth.
Winner: R-Truth…. SERIOUSLY? You believe a word of what I said?
Let’s try this again. Rusev is out of the match, from his injury this past week, and I highly doubt they will pull the trigger on Zack Ryder to rush in and win it all. I’m calling for Bray Wyatt or Luke Harper as a replacement. Bray I could see winning, but Sheamus is the front-runner for now, since giving him a title will push the feud between him and Ziggler. They won’t go with Ziggler because the next night he’ll get injured, and Barrett is already King, so giving him the IC title might as well be the equivalent to giving him his walking papers.
Winner: Ryback
Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match:
Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadores vs. Brass Ring Club vs. Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons vs. New Day in a let’s make a joke of packing multiple people uncomfortable in the cell pods.
This match will be all sorts of insane. This could steal the show. Seriously. The Ascension will probably get one elimination, just to have us thinking they could win, but then El Torito will outsmart them somehow into an elimination. I would love nothing more than for the Prime Time Players to win it, but even I know it’s not happening. What will happen is another rejuvenation of the tag team division, similar to something we had about two years ago. As much as I hate Ascension and the gimmick of Los Matadores, they serve the needed purpose of added bodies. Ascension are clumsy and worthless, so having them as big bads to be taken down is enough, which leads me to believe one day they will be tag champs, if only to build up a new face team. Los Matadores, we all know by now are Primo and Epico, so the talent is there, but the gimmick is ridiculous and is dying. Let them go back to being the Colons, and then let the crowd show the love. Lucha Dragons, the “new’ Sin Cara and Kalisto are a dose of novelty and the tandem of Cesaro and Kidd turned out to be a great combo of killer entertainment. Lastly, The New Day. They are arrogant bastards and happy to let us know it. Clap or Snap. They walk around with ****-eating grins on their faces, and this gimmick, while at first did not catch on, became fine entertainment by embracing their dark side. This is the first time in the career of Kofi Kingston to dabble in the dark arts. Question is, who wins tonight?
Winners and New Tag Team Champions: Lucha Dragons
It’s a random pick. On one hand I could see New Day retaining, if only to increase the level of hate for them, on the other, it could drive New Day crazy to lose due to the “conspiracy” against them.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
If this were SummerSlam, then I could easily predict a title change. But it is not. Ambrose suddenly thrown into the main event against Rollins and by association, the Authority. This match will have what we have become desensitized to, loads of interference, Kane taking off his shirt, and two Cruiserweights having less effectiveness than a rouge referee. We want Ambrose to go loony and win the title, but I have a hard time seeing it. Now, I could see Ambrose losing here, and then winning Money in the Bank month, then challenging again at a later time. Or, Ambrose could win here, but then lose it back in a rematch at Money in the Bank. I am making this a harder call than it should be, because we know who will probably come back at SummerSlam, and it is not Sting.
Winner and Still WWE Champion: Seth Rollins
Keep in mind, Seth Rollins has been a bit “abrasive” lately with the Authority, the premise being having an over-inflated ego. Randy Orton is not on the card, nor to I expect him to show up. He has been using the Pedigree as a finisher lately, initially making his mentor Triple H happy, but one has to wonder if this will soon turn sour.
