Meesa, Jar Jar Binks: A Star Wars Story (Angelo Gingerelli)
There is no more hated Star Wars character than Jar Jar Binks. Even in a universe with characters that are pure evil (Emperor Palpatine), represent massive falls from grace (Darth Vader) and are openly acknowledged as ploys to attract young children to the franchise (Ewoks), no character stirs up more hate and vitriol from fans than Jar Jar Binks. The reasons for the animosity are varied and largely valid. The late-90’s CGI effects weren’t quite good enough to make his interactions with humans believable. His voice was incredibly annoying, and he was generally a doofus that made life harder for the heroes of the prequel trilogy.
A Jar Jar spinoff film would be a good chance to redeem the character and hopefully give fans a new perspective on a character that is hated by many and loved by…almost nobody. Let’s take a look at two possible movies that would give the character another shot at moving out of the lowest level of the Star Wars canon.
Option 1: Jar Jar Binks: The Prequel
With the improvements in CGI in the nearly two decades since the release of The Phantom Menace, now would be a good time to show Jar Jar’s upbringing on Naboo as a bumbling, goofy, but ultimately likeable kid growing up with his Gungan friends (“The Lil’ Gungans?”, “The Sandlot on Naboo”?). There could be an ensemble of other young Gungans and Jar Jar would be the lovable loser of the bunch, like a Charlie Brown or Diary of a Wimpy Kid for the “Galaxy Far, Far Away…”
Option 2: Jar Jar Binks: Bottoming Out
After the events of the prequel films and the universe turning against him, he turns to drugs to numb the pain of being the most reviled being in the galaxy, and eventually becomes addicted to the hardest drug in the Star Wars Universe. This leads Jar Jar down a dark path of stealing from other Gungans, smash & grab robberies at the Jedi Temple and failed muggings of characters like Sebulba and Greedo. After numerous interventions and attempts to get clean, his friends/family give up on him and Jar Jar eventually ends up living on Tatooine (yes, a desert planet is an odd choice for a water-based species, but addicts don’t always make the smartest decisions).
Jar Jar is hired by Jabba the Hutt as a male escort in the prostitution branch of his gangster empire, but is eventually caught skimming profits from Jabba. He is forced out of the crime organization after being brutally beaten and left for dead in the sand.
Following his unceremonious fall from the graces of Jabba the Hutt’s crime syndicate, Binks has only one option left: make enough money to feed his habit and become a bounty hunter. He’ll eventually be seen in the remastered Blu-Ray version of the original trilogy (because you know it’s coming) in the scene where Darth Vader talks to various bounty hunters like Bossk, fan favorite Boba Fett and the criminally slept on Dengar (who is now, oddly enough, a recurring character on the Bloodshot Asbury Park podcast).
This movie would be influenced by films like The Basketball Diaries, Requiem for a Dream and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (“Fear and Loathing on Naboo?”) and show the Star Wars universe through the eyes of a character at the absolute end of his rope.
[php] wp_link_pages(array(‘before’=>’
‘)); [/php]
