WWE RAW Beats Down the Balls

You know a show is going to be good when it starts with Roman Reigns being tossed into an ambulance by Braun Strowman in the opening segment. We got the drivel from Reigns about WWE being “his yard” which cues an ambulance, sirens blaring, backing into the arena. For a moment, I thought Scott Steiner’s theme hit.

The first match sees Finn Balor and The Hardy Boyz defeat the trio of Elias Sampson, Cesaro, and Sheamus. I was disappointed we didn’t hear them sing. Really good match, despite interference from Josh Duhamel on commentary. Yep, it counts as interference. Cole raves about his involvement in Transformers 5. Even Duhamel didn’t want to hear it. They are promoting his new projects and at some point I think someone prodded him to have interest in the match. Match was very good though. Good showing by all parties.

Pre-taped promo, Goldust hypes his match with R-Truth. However, despite being hyped for a month at least, the longest hyped feud currently on RAW, is only a two-minute no-match beating where Goldust brings out his personal cameraman, and Truth gets all beat up. Odd way to carry that one out.

Backstage: Rabbi Paul Heyman begins to discuss tonight’s inevitable confrontation between Brock Lesnar and Samoa Joe, however is cut off when Joe jumps on Heyman and feigns locking in the Cocquina Clutch.

Hype for the RAW Women’s Contender’s Match, as Bayley is seen with Kurt Angle picking her number. Meh. Why bother with this?

The Miz and Maryse come to the ring for a special Miz TV segment with Lavar, Lamelo, and NBA Draft Pick Lonzo Ball. Lavar Ball is weird as hell. He’s crazy. Big Baller Brand. Lonzo better work on his on-air personality skills if he’s going pro. Miz attempts to con a partner-buddy-whatever with Lavar, who calls Miz “too low for him.” This causes everyone to lose their minds during the segment. This came out all sorts of horrible. Doesn’t matter, this got WWE more mainstream press.

This leads to Dean Ambrose teaming with Rhyno and Heath Slater in losing against Miz, Curtis Axel, and Bo Wyatt… I mean Bray Dallas… Sorry, he just looks exactly like his brother at this point. Odd, Rhyno is the one to take the brunt of the match, gets a hot tag, and loses the match. It’s like no one else could be bothered to participate.

Recap of The Breakup of Enzo and Cass. It is a bit odd to see Enzo Amore all solo. Usually he is the punching bag in most matches. This worries me, as WWE likes their big guys, and may push Big Cass up the ladder while Enzo becomes fodder for mid-carders. Cass’ entrance sounds exactly like Enzo’s. It probably is. Enzo moves on to cut an amazing promo which I believe is partially real as they feel some sadness to being split up. Enzo’s promo was great, and for a moment, it even felt real to me. Big Cass and Enzo apologize, hug it out, and all seems all right with the world… until Big Cass turns, again, and tosses Enzo clear down the ramp. Geez, the little guy takes some Spike-Dudley level bumps.

After commercial, Cass threatens Corey Graves for his role in he reveal last week, however can’t touch him because “I don’t know what you have on Angle… It must be good.”

Seth Rollins defeats Curt Hawkins. Bray Wyatt cuts a creep-promo afterwards. It would have been better for this to happen during the match, allowing Hawkins to get a win for once.

Sasha Banks pulls her ball out of the slot.

Paul Heyman cuts his in-ring promo and says “Brock Lesnar” no less than a dozen times in the first few minutes. As Brock Lesnar comes out, Samoa Joe jumps and locks in the Cocquina Clutch. After a few breakout attempts, breaking the entrance screen, Brock falls.

Lince Dorado loses to Neville in a very awkward match. Dorado was off. Very off. Akira Tozawa, decked in suit and all, watching ringside, then confronts Neville when Titus O’Neal comes out to do the talking for Tozawa. He does a pretty good job with the promo and the hype for their upcoming title bout. Will it be Neville-Level or The Pow-ah of Tozawa?

Emma picks at the balls for a position. That sounds bad, doesn’t it?

Backstage: Heyman cuts another interesting promo, from the angle of promoter to hype how much damage Samoa Joe could believably cause to Brock, which in turn, causes Brock Lesnar to become even more damage.

Backstage: Alexa Bliss tries kissing up to Nia Jax, which fails. I guess Jax is the favorite? Does that makes sense? I feel as though she hasn’t been so effective lately.

Bayley draws number one, and her opponent, is Nia Jax. Bayley is pinned in a few minutes, as are the next opponents, Mickie James, and Dana Brooke, the latter going down in a matter of seconds. Emma is out next, gets two moves off before being made into pancake and pinned. Out last, is Sasha Banks, and the two put on a great match. I was very impressed how they put on a great back-and-forth story. In the end, a very long standing Banks Statement forces Jax to tap out. Normally I would roll my eyes and say “of course the good girl triumphs” but the way this unfolded was well done. Nia Jax lasted over 30 minutes.

Kurt Angle congratulates Banks on the win, as Alexa Bliss attempts to spoil, but Banks stands tall to close this episode of RAW.

Overall, pretty good. Good show. Nothing felt overdrawn, except for the Goldust/R-Truth thing.