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RAW Rules The Night

Tonight’s show beings with a bump with a memorial for Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. This was a man who brought me hours of entertainment, listening to him on the USA Network’s Prime Time Wrestling, WWF Superstars, the early days of Monday Night RAW, and his antics as manager for decades. He brought entertainment to the announce table. Color commentary became more than just calling matches, it became funny, enjoyable to hear. He was creative and absolutely genius.

Kurt Angle comes out to hype up this Sunday’s No Mercy event, featuring Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar and John Cena vs. Roman Reigns. The hype is interrupted by The Miz who demands to be put on the No Mercy card. Angle announces a fatal-four way with Matt and Jeff Hardy, Elias Samson, and Jason Jordan with the winner to face Miz for the Intercontinental Championship. The prompts the Direct-To-DVD star to verbally trash both Angle and Jordan, and does a damn good job of it. Jason Jordan comes out to defend his honor and of Angle’s, but it comes off as pretty and poorly worded like a sixth grade spat. Jordan can wrestle and toss suplexes all day long, but geez, his mic skills need a lot of work.

Nia Jax defeats Alexa Bliss

Sasha Banks prevents Bliss from leaving the ring, and post match Bayley returns to assist in dispatching Jax and lobbing Bliss with a belly-to-belly suplex. I’m pulling for Nia Jax to win, if there is a title change, it has to go to her.

I enjoy how Sheamus and Cesaro ridicule how obsessed our culture is about nostalgia. It’s pretty funny, because it’s true.

Lots of promos hyping up Brock vs. Strowman, and I can’t wait to see this one go down. If there was ever time for Brock to take a break and drop a belt, this is it. If there was ever a time to put Strowman at the top tier and make him a champion, this… is… IT.

The Bartenders defeated A Sorta Club and Two-Thirds Shield

Great match, and great to see Gallows and Anderson remain relevant and not buried on the roster. Unfortunately, they are the ones who take the pinfall. While the title bout for Sunday only features Shield and The Bar, I think tonight’s match would have been better for the PPV, as this match was likely the best match of the night thus far.

Apolo Crews pins Curt Hawkins

Hawkins feels he will break his losing streak. Crews comes out and wins. I genuinely rooted for Hawkins. I don’t like Crews, even with Titus O’Neal in his corner, I feel remains worthless.

Very odd segment with Michael Cole interviews both Paul Heyman (with Brock Lesnar staring blankly) and Braun Strowman. Cole asks some ridiculous questions and Heyman commands the segment with his usual eloquency, and Strowman of course drips intimidation and dominance. Brock actually speaks, likely through assistance of a teleprompter. Heyman genuinely is surprised Brock formed a coherent sentence.

Just announced: The RAW Women’s Championship at No Mercy will feature Alexa Bliss defending against Emma, Sasha Banks, Nia Jax, and Bayley.

The Booing Crowd defeats Roman Reigns

The purpose of the promo was to call Cena a hypocrite by showing his 2012 promo against The Rock and his Hollywood absence. Reigns cuts a long winded and whining promo. Even took a shot at Cena through a real-life grudge which tanked Alex Riley. Geez.

Bray Wyatt defeats Dustin Rhodes

Shame, but the outcome seemed obvious. Post match: It’s Finn Balor who cuts the creepy promo about demons and men.

Beautiful tribute to Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. Man, I got chills and almost cried.

Out comes Enzo Amore to hype up his Cruiser… BRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUNNN!!! OH LORD! The humanity! Oh geez… stop! He’s already dead! No wait… NOW he’s dead! Oh my lord in heaven.

Strowman leaves, Neville comes out and hits the Gorgeous Red Arrow on a comatose Enzo, mocking his mannerisms.

That might have been the best use of Enzo Amore in the past month.

Neville defeats Gran Metalik

We get an “Oh $%^&” moment when Neville nearly rips Metalik’s mask clean off. Not sure if that was an oops or not, but you could get a clear view of his face. Damn. WWE pulling out all the shock value tonight!

In the most predictable main event to date, Jason Jordan wins the Six-Pack Challenge and #1 Contendership to the Intercontinental Championship.  Decent match, and I was genuinely rooting for Elias. What kills me is this whole shoving of “Kurt Angle 2.0” down our throats. Jordan (and Gable) could have easily gotten over without the ridiculous storyline. I love Jordan’s Rolling Northern Lights Suplexes. He launches opponents with overhead belly-to-back suplexes, he’s got talent, but not on the mic. His wrestling does the talking. But sadly, all he is now is a gimmick.

In any case, this was a solid go-home show for No Mercy. Some of these matches would have been best saved for one of the big four PPVs, because Braun/Brock has potential to be awesome.

 

 

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