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We’ve Got a Bad Feeling About The Solo: A Star Wars Story Trailer

“I’m going to be a pilot. Best in the galaxy.”

Gee, thanks. I didn’t know that about Han Solo. Glad we’re getting this movie.

I don’t think there’s ever been a movie I want to evaporate from existence more than Solo: A Star Wars Story. This probably comes from a place of loving Star Wars too much, but it is what it is. I’m sure I’m over reacting, but I have to be honest with myself. If there’s one-word to describe this trailer, it would be off-putting.

This has the exact same feel Rogue One had: It’s a JV Star Wars movie. It’s dingy. It’s cobbled together by a director who took over from another director. The effects are rushed.  Even the title card is embarrassing. Much like Rogue One, it looks like a Star Wars movie put together in an attic by a bunch of seventh graders.

Before I get to the big “uh-oh” that people who even like the trailer seem worried about, I’ll be positive for a moment. Unlike Rogue One, the characters have some life. Woody Harrelson could single-handedly save the film. He’s into it. Even though Donald Glover doesn’t do anything, you can already feel his Lando coming off the screen. Emilia Clarke looks strong, as she usually does. The music was decent. The showdown scene looked kind of cool. That ends all the praise I’m going to give this trailer.

Alden Ehrenreich. Yikes.

I really hate to pile on this poor actor, but it’s all there on the screen.  Alden Ehrenreich could be one of the biggest miscasts we’ve ever seen.  I was all for this choice after Hail, Caesar!. He’s the only part to that film I enjoy, but holy Rancors, he looks rough. Does this guy remind you at all of Han Solo? Not even a little bit. To quote one of the great screen villains of our time:

Geez. Dial it back a bit. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but they need to Marvel this guy up. What is this? Maybe there’s something to this though, because the one Han Solo line he gets (“Thought we were in trouble there for a second, but it’s fine”) was cringe-worthy delivery. Oof.

I want nothing more than to walk out saying this guy was one hell of a Han Solo. I’m rooting for him, but this is a role that really needed to go to Miles Teller.

Other than that, it’s fan service over load, as I feared it would be. Look, there’s Chewbacca! The Falcon! You can even kind of see the poker game where I’m sure Han wins the Falcon.  I know people don’t want to hear it, but this trailer feels like a movie George Lucas would have made right after the prequels had he wanted to continue making Star Wars films.

As much as I want to take a stand and proclaim I’m not going to see this out of principle, I feel a responsibility to do so. I want to be wrong. I want to be blown away. I truly do. It’s only one trailer, but the early returns are not good.

I recognize I’m on an island when it comes to my dislike for Rogue One, but this may have everyone saying Disney flew too close to the Tatooine suns.

The box office will be fine relative to normal movies, but for Star Wars, it could sting, and have long lasting repercussions.

Solo: A Star Wars Story drops Memorial Day Weekend 2018.

Daniel Cohen
Daniel Cohen
Daniel Cohen likes movies and bagels, and that’s pretty much it. Aside from writing Box Office predictions, Daniel hosts the monthly Batman by the Numbers Podcast on the Breakcast feed. Speaking of Batman, If Daniel was sprayed by Scarecrow's fear toxin, it would be watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on a non-stop loop.

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