Written by Matthew Widdis
In ring
Here comes the money! Shane McMahon comes out to boos and downward thumbs as the announcers show us the FastLane results of The Greatest Co-Besties in the World Ever losing to The Usos and Shane taking out the frustration on Miz and Miz’s dad, Mr Miz. Shane shines up that Best in the World trophy real good a sthe crowd chants “You suck! In a much less affectionate way than they do for Kurt Angle. Shane then calls for a ring announcer to proclaim him as “The Best in the World.” It wasn’t to Shane’s liking, though, and he says it has to be done over while strong arming the announcer in the corner.
Shane addresses his beatdown of Miz. He’s tired of all of the people of in his life asking him how he can get them ahead in life. This includes the fans, the WWE superstars, and the thousands of WWE employees. That stopped with Miz’s beatdown in his hometown. He’s the best, not because he won a trophy… but because he was born that way. And it felt good to dominate and humiliate Miz in front of his father. So good, in fact, that he wants to continue it at Wrestlemania.
Aleister Black & Ricochet and The Hardy Boyz vs The Bar and Shinsuke Nakamura
Huge eight man tag match sees Jeff Hardy and then Ricochet playing Ricky Morton to the physically larger, all-International heel team. After a finisher fruit salad it breaks down into a brawl and the referee loses all control. In the middle of it all, The New Day come down and clear the ring! A Shining Wizard on Shinsuke and Trouble in Paradise on Rusev. Will this affect Kofi’s Wrestlemania opportunity?
This bout ruled a no contest. (I’m assuming.)
In the back
Jimmy and Jey Uso half-rap their appreciation for The New Day taking their yard and the Hardy Boyz as their preferred opponents for the grandest stage of them all.
In ring
The arena hears the music and Randy Orton hears the voices. Randy grabs the mic and says that he can’t understand how Smackdown Live is “The House That AJ Styles Built.” When Randy was becoming the youngest champion in WWE history and facing the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, AJ was shaking hands in bingo halls and getting tans with Dixie Carter! Smackdown was around before AJ. It’s the house that Randy Orton built!
AJ comes out and says that he’s flattered the Randy followed his career so closely. AJ came from the indy scene and he’s proud of it. He says that it’s agood thing that Randy went straight to the WWE because he wouldn’t have made it in AJ Styles’ world with a goofy pose and a knock-off Diamond Cutter. Randy questions if AJ and his indy pals are really calling him out on ripping off someone else’s work and gives the nWo/Bullet Club “Too Sweet” Hungarian wolf hand sign. AJ tells Randy to look around backstage because he’s surrounded by former indy stars who earned the right to be there instead of going to their fathers for help. Randy lists off his accomplishments and said that he never needed help but AJ brings up Evolution, The Legacy, Rated RKO, and The Wyatt Family. He says that Randy had lots of babysitters that he used and tossed aside. Randy says it’s his house and rent is due. AJ says that he can collect at Wrestlemania.
Asuka vs Sonya Deville
Prior to the match, we see Sonya trying to aid Mandy Rose in her FastLane match against Asuka but inadvertently causing a disadvantage to “God’s greatest creation.” Sonya and Asuka kick the hell out of each other but a baseball slide meant for Sonya catches Mandy. Mandy tries to pulls herself up to her feet put uses the ring apron that Sonya is standing on to do it. Sonya gets tripped up and rolled right into an Asuka Lock. Mandy seems unconcerned as she attempts to accompany Sonya to the back but the New Jersey Nasty Girl is hesitant.
Your winner by submission: Asuka
In the back
The New IIconics (Billie Kaye, Peyton Royce, and Peyton Royce’s hair extensions) comment on Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville getting in each other’s way and claim the Women’s Tag Team Champions, Sasha Banks & Bayley, are ducking them. Neither are considered… IIconic!
Fun Fact: WWE has more social media followers than Disney, Marvel, HBO, or Pepsi with over one billion faithful in the WWE Universe!
In ring
The music hits and the arena is on their feet for The Man! Becky gets a few feet out from gorilla and tosses away her crutch. She’s still favoring the left leg on her way to and into the ring. We get a recap of Becky being picked apart by Charlotte only to be attacked by and (by obvious design) saved by Ronda Rousey who, as she reinforced on Monday Night RAW, intend sto decimate them both at Wrestlemania.
Becky says that everyone got brave while she was injured… or suspended… or arrested. She thanks Ronda for getting played like a fiddle and helping her earn her way back to Wrestlemania and second time. This brings out Charlotte Flair. She congratulates Becky for getting herself into The Queen’s main event. She says that the fans and Ronda feel bad for her. That’s why Becky got a hand out at FastLane. That’s why Charlotte has to carry the division for four years and make Becky and Ronda relevant. Becky tells her that she had four years on top and did nothing while Becky got hot for six months and put the Smackdown Women’s Championship in the Wrestlemania main event. They don’t need a queen and never did. They need The Man.
In the back
Kayla Braxton is outside The McMahon Family dressing rrom when Daniel Bryan and Rowan walk out. She asks about whether he was talking about Kofi Kingston with Mr McMahon. He says that it was a private conversation about the unfair addition of Mustafa Ali to his championship defense at FastLane. Mr McMahon’s response was to put the champ and his intellectual peer in a tag match vs Mustafa Ali and Kevin Owens tonight!
In ring
Rey Mysterio & R-Truth (w/Carmella) vs Samoa Joe & Andrade (w/Zelina Vega)
These four made magic last week, did so again on Sunday night at FastLane, and continued that formula tonight. Rey and Truth managed to gel with coordinated double team maneuvers while Joe and Andrade worked the smart tags. Great sequencing with R-Truth emulating John Cena, Carmella laying down the law on Zelina, Corey Graves taking a dig at Rey’s bizarre nude-tone-with-censor-bars ring gear, Rey getting the rollup win, and Samoa Joe brutalizing teammate and opponent alike in frustration.
Your winners by pinfall: Rey Mysterio & R-Truth
As announced on RAW, Alexa Bliss will host Wrestlemania.
Kevin Owens & Mustafa Ali vs Daniel Bryan & Rowan
Rowan steamrolls over Mustafa Ali until Daniel Bryan comes in and, after such a long wait and to (criminally) very little fanfare, drops his “I have until five” line after a rope break. Kevin Owens tries to take out the big man but he’s literally taken out at the knees. Some inspired tag work lands Ali in Rowan’s Iron Claw slam and flat on his back.
Your winners by pinfall: Daniel Bryan & Rowan
As the WWE Champion and his insurance policy walk up the ramp, The Chairman himself, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, comes out to the ring to discuss Kofi Kingston’s Wrestlemania opportunity. He says that he is going to give the WWE Universe and Kofi Kingston what they want. First, though, he wants to play the footage from Kofi being put in a handicap match against The Bar after being teased with a triple threat match for the title. Vince begins to speak again but The New Day walk out their music but without their usual pomp and pancakes. They say Kofi deserves his opportunity. Vince says that nobody deserves anything, even himself. Vince says that he likes Kofi and sees his accomplishments and abilities but not his championship potential. Neither does WWE Champion, Daniel Bryan, who refers to Kofi as a *gasp* “good B+ player.” Kofi talks about all he’s accomplished and sacrificed without complaint. He doesn’t want a free ride. He just wants to know what he needs to do to get his opportunity.
Randy Orton’s music hits and Vince says that all Kofi has to do is beat Randy… and Samoa Joe… and The Bar… and Rowan. If he beats those five men in a gauntlet match, he’s going to Wrestlemania. The heels rush the ring and get some good licks in but New Day fends them off to end the show.
Final Thoughts:
Shane going heel on Miz for losing isn’t quite as satisfying as Miz doing so on Shane (especially after Shane forgave Miz for losing the titles in the first place) but that isn’t what they want at Wrestlemania. They want the newly sympathetic Miz to defeat a traitorous McMahon on the grandest stage of them all and prove himself The Best in the World in front of his father and 100,000 people. I still feel that they’re wrong.
Usos vs Hardys for a brawling and falling tag title match? Sounds like a potential classic.
Ricochet & Aleister Black as a tag team probably isn’t how most expected them on the main roster but it is working out like Arnold in the 70s.
We got two fantastic promos tonight: one old and one new. Becky and Charlotte are giving the people what they want (Bex in the house) and what they need (repeated exposure to heel Charlotte to give Smackdown the same ‘Mania gravitas that RAW does with Ronda.) Randy and AJ seems like it could be a goodbye to either one of them but they’re as good right now as they ever were. These two had a pretty deep back and forth where they showed a distinct lack of respect for each other and espoused their justifications for it. The heel says, “You’re not on my level,” and the hero says, “Try me and see.” Two lines in two weeks and one face-to-face promo and we get what would be a main event any other time or place but Wrestlemania.
I wouldn’t be surprised Rey, Truth, and El Idolo all ended up in the US title picture for WM. I wouldn’t be the least bit disappointed.
I’m a big fan of subtext and I can appreciate some good meta. This “Kofi keeps getting screwed” bit is like candy for me. The tone and feel of it reminds me of the Tri-Lamb nerds getting shut down at the Greek Council, Carl Brashear’s dive bag being cut open on those New Jersey docks, and, yes, even Cinderella’s dress being torn to rags. As for the meta, there’s two snippets of Vince’s recent dialogue that stick out the most for me. Tonight Vince said what I’ve often said, “Nobody deserves anything,” and at FastLane, “Do you think that I don’t know what I’m doing.”
, there were worked shoots and more groundwork was laid for Wrestlemania.){kind=link}