Written by Matthew Widdis
We open our night in the ring with a special sit-down episode of The Kevin Owens Show, featuring The Phenomenal One, AJ Styles, and The Apex Predator, Randy Orton. This would be a PPV main event any other time, anywhere else in the world but Wrestlemania. The two go over their grudge, including Randy preventing Kurt Angle’s final Smackdown match from being completed. Randy expresses pride in doing so because it saved the audience from having to watch it. AJ wonders how he spent so much time in WWE with legends and phenoms but only learned one move. Randy says that he only needs one and goes on to belittle the indie darlings mystique, going on to say that they have pity for scraping to get by while he’s been on the main stage and making money for nearly twenty years.
AJ admits that he wrestled in high school gymnasiums for $50 while Randy was in WWE… failing drug tests! Randy says that, if AJ was as good as he was made out to be, he’d have been in WWE sooner. His legacy isn’t that “hard work pays off,” it’s that, when John Cena leaves for Hollywood, there’s room for a new corporate bitch! Kevin Owens, with adept comedic timing, beats feet out of the ring. AJ starts winging first and the two men go back-and-forth until AJ staggers Randy from the apron. He launches himself into the air for a Phenomenal Forearm but The Viper strikes with an RKO. Randy was right about that, one is all he needs.
In the back, The New Day is reviewing and double-checking Kofi’s Wrestlemania 35 title match contract.
Aleister Black & Ricochet and The Usos vs Shinsuke Nakamura & Rusev and The Bar
The heels use their size and power advantage throughout the match until we see a KO party with Ricochet getting nailed with huge Euro upper by Cesaro, followed by a Black Mass on Cesaro. Rusev takes out Black but both Usos take out legal man Rusev for the win.
Your winners by pinfall… Aleister Black, Ricochet and The Usos!
RAW superstar and Wrestlemania 35 host, Alexa Bliss, hits the entranceway. She lets the Smackdown superstars and the Baltimore crowd know that she doesn’t really want to be there. She thinks Smackdown has lost it’s edge and, since The Usos embodied that by forfeiting to The New Day last week, their Smackdown tag team titles will be defended at Wrestlemania against the other three teams in the ring in a Fatal 4-Way match! The brawling commences and, soon, Aleister Black and Ricochet are the only ones standing in the ring with the belts at their feet.
We get another look at the Becky Lynch/Ronda Rousey/Charlotte Flair brawl and arrests from Monday Night RAW before The IIconics come down to the ring to break down the logic in how they are the surefire bet to win the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles on Sunday.
SAnitY vs The Miz in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match
Miz gives a spiel about how he’s fighting for his family now, his wife, his daughter, and his father. He then tells Shane McMahon that, based on his father, Shane qualifies as a son of a bitch! The match is about to get underway when Shane’s theme hits and he comes out to watch. A few minutes in and Shane announces that the match will not just be a handicap match, but a Falls Count Anywhere match, as well! Miz juggles each member of SAnitY, dodging them as they run into barricades and using production equipment to batter them. He manages to isolate Eric Young and they brawl through the backstage area and out into the loading docks. Miz waffles Young with a production dolly for the win.
Your winner by pinfall… The Miz!
Miz stares down Shane’s black SUV for a moment before it begins to pull out. As Shane’s car leaves, a police car rolls in and, who should hop out of the back but Becky Lynch! The Man is out of the clink! The announce team confirms that Becky, Ronda, and Charlotte have been released and will be competing in the main event at Wrestlemania.
Back in the arena, Becky comes out to the ring where Corey Graves awaits. She grabs the mic and leaves the ring to stand atop the announce table. She apologizes to Graves but she answers to the people and not to him. She says that, last year, Ronda was making her in-ring debut and Charlotte was ending Asuka’s undefeated streak. The universe was set on Ronda and Charlotte meeting in the main event… until Becky slapped Charlotte down at SummerSlam. Now, “we” are on “our” way to Wrestlemania and it ends with winner takes all and The Man as the double champion that they all know she is. The crowd chants for Becky as she drops the mic and walks off.
The Hardys, Heavy Machinery, R-Truth, Naomi, Carmella, Nikki Cross, and Asuka vs Gallows & Anderson, Andrade, EC3, Shelton Benjamin, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Zelina Vega, and Lana in an 18-person mixed tag match (Because why the @#$% not!?)
We get a close up of both the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale trophy (that I’m 50% sure has chocolate inside) and the Women’s Wrestlemania Battle Royale trophy (that 100% looks like a uterus and I have to believe that’s on purpose.)
Shortly after the match starts, we get the obligatory Lacey Evans interruption and, at this point, it’s become an unapologetic running gag. Fine if that’s what we’re going for. Before the match breaks down into chaos, we see some classic Hardy double team action and lil’ brother Otis hitting The Caterpillar on EC3. Once it turns into a free-for-all, we get a re-enactment of the recently controversial shaving commercial as Otis ogles at and tremors over Mandy Rose until Shelton Benjamin tosses him out of the ring. Nikki Cross won’t let a fight happen without her, though, and challenges Shelton. When he turns away, she’s on him like a rabid squirrel until they both go tumbling over the top rope. Jeff Hardy tosses out EC3 after he and Asuka beat on him a bit. They celebrate for a moment before Asuka throws Jeff out! The former Smackdown Women’s champion is ready for Wrestlemania and no one is ready for Asuka!
Samoa Joe vs Ali
It’s a non-title match but Joe is still motivated. He traps the now-mononym-ed Ali into corner with strikes and headbutts. Ali makes space with some kicks and hits some big dives and a tornado DDT but only for so long. Joe blocks the 054 attempt and latches on the Coquina Clutch.
Your winner by submission… Samoa Joe
In ring, Michael Cole is there to preside over the contract signing for the WWE World Title matchat Wrestlemania. Daniel Bryan and Rowan take their places, as do Kofi Kingston and his New Day teammates. Daniel signs the papers and says that he’s not there to talk Kofi out of the match. No, he wants to educate the masses. He says that Kofi is a cautionary tale about becoming complacent for 11 years and how nobody should become a bystander in their own life. He has some education for Kofi, too: Don’t mistake a fad for reality.
You feel good and you feel strong when these people … these parasites … chant “Yes! Yes! Yes!” or “Ko-fi! Ko-fi!” Only you’re not. You’re not stronger or better because it’s just you out there and they’re feeding off you. Kofi takes his turn to educate. He says that he’s never gotten his shot until now but that’s okay because everything has led up to this. Daniel should know because he’s been on the other side of the table; put-down and underestimated. That’s why there’s fear in Daniel’s eyes. It’s because he knows what comes next: Kofi beating the odds and beating him at Wrestlemania! Kofi signs the line and The New Day walks off as their music plays and the fans pop.
Final thoughts:
Good promos from the marquee fan favorites here as Becky and Kofi made sure that they were the last ones the broader audience saw.
The 4-way tag title match is an interesting last-minute plug-in. Aleister and Ricochet have been tearing it up, though, and this is a potential first main roster title win for them and a Wrestlemania payday even if it’s not.
Portraying Miz as a savage brawler is beyond odd and not really needed (especially at the expense of all of SAnitY) but the match is sure to be a classic.
At time of post, Rey Mysterio has an ankle injury and I’d imagine the US Title match with Samoa Joe is in jeopardy. Really would have rather seen a Rey vs Andrade, mask vs hair match, but that’s neither here nor there, apparently.
I think we’re going to see Asuka look strong in the Battle Royale to compensate for recent events.
