Written by Matthew Widdis
Our go-home show for Stomping Grounds opens up with The New Day refreshing our memory about WWE Champion Kofi Kingston’s steel cage match vs Dolph Ziggler and letting it drop that Ziggler will face Xavier Woods in a match tonight. They go into something that Big E calls “The Freaky Hour” but, just as they’re getting to the part with the Slip-n-Slide, they’re interrupted by Dolph.
He says that The New Day is simply distracting everyone from the fact that Xavier Woods kicked him in the head during his title match with Kofi at Super Show Down. He goes on to tell Kofi that, next time he goes to Ghana, it will have to be an apology tour because he’ll have to tell everyone that he failed when the chips were down in a steel cage. Kofi tells Dolph that he knows all about steel cages because his path to the title started at Elimination Chamber. Dolph says that he’ll beat Xavier and that Kofi should watch because it’ll be a reminder of what can happen to him with Xavier and Big E. Kofi bears the “sad Kofi meme” face throughout.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIyB6Ycn0Ww
Dolph Ziggler vs Xavier Woods (w/ Kofi Kingston & Big E)
After a little bit of freestyle wrestling that saw Dolph hitting the old low single to get us started, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come out attack Kofi and Big E. It distracts Xavier who turns his attention from a top rope attack on Ziggler to saving his friends. KO, Sami, and Xavier’s New Day brothers are ejected from ringside but Dolph takes advantage of the distraction with a satellite DDT. He gets sadistic with face-clawing and stretch holds. When Xavier starts his comeback, it includes a dropkick into the announce table and a gorilla press into a gutbuster! Zig turns it around by driving X into the ring post and superkicking him off the apron. Dolph hits the Zig-Zag but, when Xavier rolls away, Ziggler stops him and pretzels him in the top rope. It looks like he’s trying to break Woods’ arm but settles for a knockout superkick after being backed off by the referee.
Your winner by pinfall… Dolph Ziggler!
The announce team gives us a recap of Seth Rollins using a steel chair to beat on anyone who accepts the “special guest referee” position for his match vs Baron Corbin at Stomping Grounds. Elias, EC3, and Eric Young all got their beatings but so did Seth when Corbin gave him receipt. Shelton Benjamin and the B-Team are discussing the pros and cons of the opportunity with Shelton saying he’ll hve no problem using Corbin to get ahead. Matt Hardy comes out of Corbin’s dressing room and gives “Senor Benjamin” the go ahead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSfUR5PsPDA
A Moment of Bliss is up with Nikki Cross as co-host. Alexa is disturbed to notice that her coffee isn’t ready and waiting for her. She snaps her fingers to summon her cup but out comes Smackdown Women’s Champion Bayley… drinking from Alexa’s cup! She tries to warn Nikki that Alexa is just using her like Nia Jax and Mickie James but that just prompts Alexa to call her out. She says that Bayley’s “nice girl” act is just that; an act. When she was struggling in NXT, everyone in the locker room looked down on her and she looked to the “nice one” for help but got the cold shoulder. Bayley calls her a liar and an entitled brat and Alexa says that Bayley is just a placeholder champion that peaked in NXT. Bayley gets to scrapping, hitting some ground-and-pound on The Goddess until Nikki Cross pulls her off and screams at her to stop. Bayley argues her point until sucker punched by Alexa, who flashes the mean girl grin as she walks off.
Zelina Vega is checking herself out in the mirror when Apollo Crews comes around asking about Andrade. She accuses him of flirting with her and, while he’s denying it, Andrade blasts him from behind and puts the boots to him. El Idolo and his business manager walk off as Chad Gable stands idly by taking notes on the incident.
The B-Team vs Heavy Machinery
The Smackdown (and Planet’s) Tag Team Champions, Daniel Bryan & Rowan, are ringside. As Tucky and Lil’ Brother Otis make their way down the ramp with a Bushwhacker tribute, Daniel goes so far as to say to bring up that the Bushwhackers were never champions and “jokes their entire careers!” When advised that they were indeed Hall of Famers, Daniel is unimpressed because “Koko B Ware is in there, too.” Wow! He does give some love to The Sheepherders, though.
Tucker gets in trouble early on but Otis clears house with slams and the Caterpillar elbow drop. Tucker tags back in for The Compactor. Daniel Bryan praises their athleticism and amateur backgrounds but chastises their lack of seriousness.
Your winners by pinfall… Heavy Machinery!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8EFM0zkGjY
As Bo Dallas gets to his feet, WWE Universal Champion, Seth Rollins, slides into the ring and beats the holy hell out of The B-Team with a steel chair! The sons of Mr. Perfect and IRS are left in a heap.
We cut to the parking lot and the arrival of (thebestintheworld) Shane McMahon. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn look to him for help and he suggests a best-2-out-of-3 tag match between them and Seth Rollins & Kofi Kingston. They seem less than enthused about it.
Aleister Black seems to have a theory as to why no one will pick a fight with him. It’s because he wasn’t supposed to be anything and, now, they’re afraid to be changed by him just like he changed himself.
Here comes the money! Shane comes out with Elias and Drew McIntyre. Shane is upset enough to eschew his usual introduction. They rant a bit about Roman Reigns but that brings out The Miz. He plays some video of Roman beating up some random employees, putting McIntyre through a catering table, and flattening Shane with a spear on Monday Night RAW. Shane asks if he thinks that he’s being funny. Miz says that he’s not but plays the video of Shane running away from Roman in slo-mo with sound effects to be so. Miz goes on to criticize Shane for once being the man who made Smackdown the land of opportunity who now sucks up all the airtime to feed his ego and give opportunity to a select few. (Meta!) Miz claims responsibility for Shane’s reign of terror as his injury at World Cup is what led to Shane’s “Best in the World” status. Shane suggests an elimination tag team match between McIntyre and Elias vs Miz and a partner of his choosing… so long as that partner can be out in the next ten seconds. Sure enough, R-Truth and his 24/7 Championship bumbles out from under the ring during that timeframe and The Awesome Truth rides again!
The IIconics run into Paige and Asuka & Kairi Sane in the hallways. The Make Up Mean Girls wonder aloud if the “pirate,” Kairi Sane, is looking to plunder their gold. Paige tells them that they are and that she has arranged for a match between the two teams next week… in Tokyo, Japan… where they will earn a title shot if they win. (as opposed to actually winning the titles for some reason?)
The Miz & R-Truth vs Drew McIntyre & Elias (w/ Shane McMahon)
Miz and then Truth work on Elias and his taped ribs. Truth does a little dancing and Elias tags in the big bad wolf for the momentum shift. A leaping knee strike from Elias takes R-Truth out.
Immediately afterwards, a bevy of 24/7 championship hopefuls (including what I believe to be the Colons in Bret Hart inspired garb!) flood the ringside area. Shelton Benjamin, grabs the title belt and runs around, chased by the other contenders as the announce team wonders if any of them know how the title works. A referee stops them and, while he’s explaining the rules of the 24/7 Championship, R-Truth snags the belt and takes off through the crowd!
Miz is alone vs McIntyre, Elias, and the occasional cheap shot from Shane. He manages to ole McIntyre into the timekeeper’s area and begins to isolate Elias and his injured mid-section. Miz goes on a roll and has Elias set up for the 1-2-3 but McIntyre recovers in time to save him with a headbutt. He tags in and the Claymore does the trick.
Your winners by pinfalls… Drew McIntyre & Elias!
Shane holds Miz up for (Clay)more punishment as Drew McIntyre taunts Roman Reigns throughout.
Ember Moon is looking for Mandy Rose. Carmella hasn’t seen Mandy but is looking for R-Truth. She tells Ember that she has unfinished business with Fire & Desire as well. The War Goddess finds Mandy & Sonya Deville munching on doughnuts but, like C. Montgomery Burns, she must not like ethnic foods because she refuses their baked goods and attacks them until pulled away by officials.
It’s time for Firefly Fun House! Bray has been doing some gardening. He tells the kids that some ideas are rotten… like a round earth and that dinosaurs have all gone extinct. He and the rest of the Fun House Friends invite the kids to join them in fear and power. They invite the kids to follow the leader. The screen jumps in and out with various versions of The Muscle Man Dance. The Fiend makes an appearance and tells the kids to let him in.
R-Truth is in the parking lot, looking for Carmella. He finds her and his Uber driver… slash referee? But it’s not really Carmella, or even mini-Carmella! It’s not even Hornswoggle. It’s a disguised Drake Maverick who manages to get his feet up on the car to roll up Truth for the three count. Drake Maverick is the GM of 205 Live and the 24/7 European TV Champion!
Your winner and new WWE 24/7 Champion… Drake Maverick!
He immediately jumps into the Uber-ref’s car and celebrates not just his championship but also his impending nuptials. Mazel Tov, champ!
Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn vs Kofi Kingston & Seth Rollins
Right off the bat, Kofi hits a Trouble in Paradise to eliminate Sami Zayn! The tag team (of) champs are up by one!
Kevin Owens weathers the Seth storm for a bit to hits a big slam off of a springboard attempt by the Universal champ. A DDT can’t get him a three count after three consecutive cover attempts, though. Regardless, Paul Heyman, watching on a monitor in the back, is loving it. After a superplex tease, KO and Rollins manage to take each other out of the equation. Sami and Kofi go at it until a Blue Thunder Bomb can’t put Kofi away. Owens is tagged in but so is Rollins. They go at it like Kevin Steen and Tyler Black for a bit until a Curb Stomp puts down The Prizefighter for the second straight fall.
Your winners… Seth Rollins & Kofi Kingston!
Final Thoughts:
People want to know when WWE will “get scared” into upping their quality. The work that the Smackdown folks are doing should give you your answer. Dolph Ziggler has had, what, five matches since Royal Rumble 2019? And he’s doing some of the best work of his career. As great as Kofi’s story is, as much as we all love to see hard work and dedication pay off, as much as he had exceeded my expectations for his championship reign, Dolph’s promos and the clever booking make you ask if his lament of “It should have been me!” is more than just a catch phrase. Bayley is keeping up with Alexa Bliss on promos, her longtime Achilles heel. Shane saturates both main shows but Miz ties in their history since Crown Jewel and keeps their interaction relevant even after numerous matches.
If Drake Maverick loses the 24/7 Championship to best man, EC3, on his wedding day, I’m buying a T-shirt.
I agree with a certain other pro wrestling reviewer and (self-proclaimed) greatest tag team wrestler of all time. The Firefly Fun House should not be commented on (or even acknowledged directly) by the announce team.
Gamer Girl, Ember Moon, vs Glamour Girl, Mandy Rose, could be the sleeper feud of the summer. Nice design on Sonya’s shirt, BTW.
The IIconics lack of in-ring polish is nowhere near as damaging to the Women’s Tag Team Championship as these non-title match rivalries. Same applies to all titles, really.
With his continued in-ring involvement in question, Daniel Bryan continuing to be a stand-up guy and elevate talent like Heavy Machinery is every bit as admirable as his real-life scrappy underdog story.
