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‘The Hills: New Beginnings’ Premiere Review: It’s Basically The Hills But Everyone’s Older

The Hills: New Beginnings
Photo Courtesy of MTV

The Hills: New Beginnings is wildly indicative of the current state of MTV. The once cutting edge network is now heavily relying on mid-aughts nostalgia to drive their programming. Reboots and spin-offs of their uber hits Jersey Shore, and Teen Mom are at the forefront of the network’s marketing alongside their requisite everyone’s hooking up with everyone dating/reality/contest shows.

However, no show embodies this nostalgia trip more than The Hills: New Beginnings. The theme of last night’s premiere was in essence, “Wow, so much life has happened in the 9 years since the series ended.” To non-fans of the series (me) it’s the biggest “Thanks Captain Obvious” theme of all-time, but at the same time this theme is absolute genius.

The concept and appeal of the original series was people in their 20s watching good-looking, affluent people in their 20s go through the wild ride of sex, dating, careers and growing up in the mid-00s. It worked probably better than anyone could expect, creating numerous reality celebrities, launched the Lauren Conrad empire, and even introduced many to future Oscar and Grammy winner, Lady Gaga.

Now, a decade later those same fans can watch those same affluent, good-looking people (albeit with plastic surgery), going through the wild ride of parenting, marriage, divorce, and adulting in the late 2010’s. Yes, it’s literally just the same show, but “grown up.” Fans will be thrilled to be thrown immediately back into the Audrina/Justin Bobby debacle, the world of douche lords Spencer and Heidi, and the man child tendencies of eternally 5 o’clock-shadowed Brody Jenner. It’s everything a fan of The Hills would want to see in a reboot of the series.

But there’s some really bizarre twists in the premiere that we need to discuss. First, the inclusion of non-reality star, and actual actress Mischa Barton to the series. It’s near Inception-level of weird that Barton — the star of the early 2000s teen soap The O.C., the show which inspired: MTV in to create a reality series take version of The O.C. called Laguna Beach the series which The Hills and The Hills: New Beginnings is spun off from — is now part a star of this series. This is like if Bruce Springsteen joined a popular Bruce Springsteen cover band. To make things even more batshit, the decade old beef between Barton and celebrity blogger Perez Hilton is going to be a major plot point of the show. Yes, we’re living in an MTV-produced version of The Upside Down.

Then we get a weird cameo from Pamela Anderson. You did not read that wrong. Her son Brandon Lee (again, you did not read that wrong) is somehow friends with Brody Jenner, and so that means he’s on the show. The cameo is batshit crazy because Pamela Anderson literally comes in, talks a whole bunch of nonsense, and then “sages” her son’s house. Honestly, the scene is flabbergasting, and makes no sense, and yet makes all the sense (given this an MTV reality series) at the same time.

And while we’re at it, for a reality series there sure as hell are a lot of posed, and cinematic moments in this premiere. There’s some serious glamour shots, poses, and just sweeping, slow motion shots that do not belong anywhere near a reality series. But then again, The Hills has always been a controversial show. Remember when cast members openly said the show was scripted, or that meta series finale where did they did (or didn’t) say “Yeah, this is all fake.” That’s the tone of this new series. The cast members address documented real life events that they went through, but at the same time will be shot in slow motion during the magic hour walking into a club. It’s beyond thunder dome weird.

The Hills: New Beginnings is a perfect return for fans of The Hills. It is everything you wanted — beloved characters returning to a familiar setting, and old drama reigniting. For those on the outside looking in, this is a bizarre (and dreadful) piece of nostalgia that has a this self-aware tone that is utterly batshit crazy, and should be studied by anthropologist, and television historians alike.

The Hills: New Beginnings airs Monday nights on MTV at 9 p.m.

Bill Bodkin
Bill Bodkinhttps://thepopbreak.com
Bill Bodkin is the editor-in-chief and co-founder of Pop Break, and most importantly a husband, and father. Ol' Graybeard writes way too much about wrestling, jam bands, Asbury Park music, HBO shows, and can often be seen under his season DJ alias, DJ Father Christmas. He is the co-host of the Socially Distanced Podcast (w/Al Mannarino) which drops weekly on Apple, Google, Anchor & Spotify. He is the co-host of the monthly podcasts -- Anchored in Asbury, TV Break and Bill vs. The MCU.
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