Written by Michael Vacchiano
The stars of Monday Night Raw and Smackdown Live get ready to throw caution to the wind with WWE’s latest installment of their annual midyear slugfest. Ironically, the show emanates from the birthplace of hardcore and the House that Heyman Built…Philadelphia, PA!!
Extreme Rules featured a few potential match-of-the-year candidates, multiple championships on the line, and the return of a legend and guaranteed future Hall of Famer. Not to mention that the show’s main event is a mixed tag team match in which (in ABBA singing voice) “the winners take it aaallllll !!!” Please forgive the cheesy ‘70s pop music reference and let’s get to it….
No Holds Barred: Roman Reigns & The Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre
Reigns and McIntyre, unsurprisingly, carried most of the load for their teams throughout the match. But all hell broke loose soon enough when the no count out and DQ stipulations came into play. Steel chairs were introduced, as well as the interference of a guitar-wielding Elias. Roman was momentarily eliminated by the Drifter who laid him out with a six-string shot. That allowed the heels to gang up on the Deadman, and Shane O’Mac delivered his patented flying elbow drop through the outside commentary table.
After the self-proclaimed “Best in the World” nailed Taker with a Coast to Coast complete with trash can, The Big Dog mounted a big-time comeback. Superman punches led to Undertaker recovering enough to lay them all out with chokeslams, and Shane was soon alone in the ring with his opponents. McIntyre tried to save his boss by taking the Deadman on a shopping trip to Claymore & Flanigan, but got intercepted with a spear from Reigns. Instead, Shane gets taken to Tombstone City, and that’s all she wrote.
Winners: Roman Reigns & Undertaker
Raw Tag Team Championships: The Revival (c) vs. The Usos
Both great teams doing their usual thing throughout the majority of the contest. In one particularly noteworthy spot, Dawson and Wilder broke out the old school tandem finisher of the superplex and flying body press combination. Wrestling nerds like myself immediately recognized it as the old finisher of Power & Glory (aka Hercules and Paul Roma). Don’t judge me.
The end of the match featured Jimmy and Jey hitting their stereo superkicks and top rope splashes, only to have the pin broken up. Soon after, the Usos were cut off by the champs from delivering their simultaneous dives to the outside. The Revival got the upper hand right away to hit their devastatingly awesome Shatter Machine to retain the belts.
Winners and still champions: The Revival
Aleister Black vs. Cesaro
These two no-nonsense European grapplers may have been a last-minute addition to the lineup, but that did not prevent them from putting the rest of the card on notice with an excellent, hard-hitting contest. Early strikes and chain wrestling resulted in the Swiss Cyborg mocking his opponent’s meditative sitdown. The big spots soon came fast and furious, however. Black hit a beautiful moonsault to the outside, but fell victim to a Cesaro springboard uppercut upon reentering the ring.
A few great reversals included Cesaro catching Aleister’s flying meteora, turning it into a brutal pop-up uppercut. The Dutch Destroyer responded with a nasty knee strike to stop Cesaro from a midair attack. Black worked on his opponent’s legs with stiff kicks, as well as a scissor takedown into a kneebar/leglock submission. The Swiss Superman reversed the hold into a sharpshooter, but was also unsuccessful in getting a tapout. The match’s conclusion was a standing strikefest of kicks vs. uppercuts with plenty of dodges and blocks, almost MMA style. But it was the gothic Dutchman who landed a vicious Black Mass to secure the victory. Match of the night so far!
Winner: Aleister Black
2-on-1 Handicap Match for the Smackdown Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) vs. Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross
The majority of the match had the Hugger trying to overcome the odds, mostly to no avail. One cool spot featured Little Miss Bliss trapping Bayley in the ring apron sleeve to be easily pummeled. An homage to the veteran Dave “Fit” Finley, who currently works backstage as a road agent and match booker for the women’s division FYI. But getting back to business, the champ was continuously double teamed by the Goddess and her newest BFF.
Bayley soon retaliated against her opponents, putting Bliss in an Indian deathlock variation and locking Nikki in a crossface submission simultaneously! The challengers easily took back control, and Alexa tried to finish off the champ with Twisted Bliss. Knees up counter by Bayley left it between just her and the rabid Scotswoman, who then fell victim to an offensive knee strike and top rope elbow for the pinfall. Plenty o’ hugs for everyone tonight as Bayley celebrates her huge win!
Winner and still champion: Bayley
Last Man Standing Match: Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Lashley
As you’d expect, these two bohemoths kept the match at a lumbering pace as they fought throughout the arena for most of the match. While visiting the concession stand, Braun actually suplexed Lashley into one of the soda vending machines before dropping him straight on the floor! Nasty landing. Making their way back through the crowd, the Dominator retaliated huge with a pickup running gore on Strowman through the barricade back into ringside.
Like King Kong and Godzilla before them, the two beasts soon rampaged on a worldwide scale as they battled through the row of international broadcast booths. And the match’s finish may very well have produced a comment of “Oh my God” in twelve-plus different languages. A running powerslam from Braun off a platform put both gladiators into a pile of blocked-off debris. The Monster Among Men lives up to his name by breaking down a wall, answering the ref’s 10 count, and being the last man standing.
Winner: Braun Strowman
Triple Threat Match for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship: Daniel Bryan & Rowan (c) vs. New Day vs. Heavy Machinery
It’s a battle of pancakes vs. steaks vs. soy patties in this one, as all six men lay into each other early and often. Otis and Tucker, the newest kids on the block, took control at the end to unload the heavy…well, ya know. A caterpillar from Otis took out Bryan, only for Rowan to make the save. Xavier was barely able to make the save himself after Big E got squashed by the Compactor. However, the requisite Tower of Doom spot eliminated everyone involved momentarily.
Rowan obliterated Woods on the outside, which allowed D-Bry to land a top rope headbutt on E followed by the Lebell Lock. The Planet’s Champion transitioned into multiple submission to try and force the tapout, but Big E held on. He then showcased his crazy strength and caught Bryan in midair from a moonsault attempt. Xavier was there and ready to assist at the proverbial Midnight Hour to get the win. The Unicorn Posse are 6-time champs!!!!!!
Winners and new champions: The New Day
United States Championship: Ricochet (c) vs. AJ Styles
The potential match of the night started off with the Club attacking Ricochet during his in-ring entrance theatrics. Despite the early advantage for Styles, the match was even as both men went move-for-move and kept a fast pace. The One & Only hit his patented running shooting star press off the apron, and later took out Gallows and Anderson with a beautiful Foxbury Flop-ish plancha to the outside.
Towards the end. a hard enziguri by the champ was trumped by A.J.’s trademark Pele kick. The Phenomenal Forearm was avoided by Ricochet, who then nearly got the win with a Codebreaker and breathtaking springboard shooting star combo. Styles saved himself with a foot on the rope, and soon after crotched Ric on the top turnbuckle. A brutal-looking reverse Styles Clash off the second rope was the coup de grace, and A.J. wins the title. Very good match, but I would have liked it to have been given another 5 minutes or so. However, I definitely smell a Summerslam rematch brewing, so sign me up!
Winner and new champion: A.J. Styles
Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler
Last-minute impromptu match was over before it ever even started. A slap across the face from Ziggs immediately resulted in a KO stunner for the quick and easy pin. Post match, Owens goes on another pipebomb-esque rant about in ring talent being underutilized, and how Shane McMahon is destroying the product and needs to go away (to put it nicely). The Philly crowd raucously voiced their approval as Kevin Kayfabe dropped the mic and exited the ring.
Winner: Kevin Owens
WWE Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Samoa Joe
The champ is once again the underdog to the Samoan Submission Machine as he tries to keep his magical main event ride going. The larger Joe takes control early on with hard strikes and power moves early on. Kofi’s comeback attempts are quickly stopped by the challenger, who viciously employs and enjoys bending his opponents limbs and joints. Particularly cringe-inducing was Joe stomping on Kofi’s fingers after trapping them between the steel steps. Ouch.
The malicious Joe spends the next few minutes toying with Kofi and slowly wearing him down. The heart of the champion would not die, as Kofi retaliates using his quickness and resiliency, and a well-timed SOS for a near fall. Joe soon trapped his opponent in a standing Coquina Clutch but could not bring him down to the mat. A Kofi reversal led to a surprise Trouble in Paradise outta nowhere, and the Cinderella story continues!
Winner and still champion: Kofi Kingston
Mixed Tag Team Match for the Universal and Raw Women’s Championships (Winner Take All): Seth Rollins (c) & Becky Lynch (c) vs. Baron Corbin & Lacey Evans
It’s worth mentioning that the coolest couple in WWE wore matching black and yellow X-Men movie-inspired gear to the ring. Yet another reason for us wrestling fanboys to worship at their feet. But anyway…
Steel chairs and kendo sticks came into play early on with Corbin laying some stiff shots into Rollins. After countering by throwing Baron into a chair wedged in the corner, Seth makes the tag to Becky. The Man let loose on Lacey with some brutal spots involving the chairs: a Bexploder suplex onto a pile of them, as well as a second rope legdrop with one on her face (the latter of which busted open Lacey’s lip).
The champs double teamed Corbin with a VanDaminator type spot with him crotched on the top rope. But the Sassy Southern Belle nearly got the win herself with a beautiful springboard reverse moonsault. The challengers then took turns whacking the Architect on the ground with kendo sticks, and then planted both champions with vicious chokeslams.
The violence continued with #Brollins suplexing the heels onto the steel aisle ramp. They then channeled their inner Dudley by breaking out some tables, and unleashing diving moves to them on the outside (Becky with a legdrop; Seth with a frogsplash). The men got back to the ring, where Corbin turned a curbstomp attempt into a powerbomb/Deep Six combo.
Becky saved her man from getting pinned, but received an End of Days in response, which drew massive heat from both the crowd as well as the commentary team. An incensed Rollins goes ballistic on the former Lone Wolf with multiple chair shots, but his bloodlust was not yet satisfied. After three successive Curb Stomps, Seth finally made the cover to retain both his and Becky’s titles. Wild main event, and much better than expected.
Winners and still champions: Seth Rollins & Becky Lynch
Before he could even check on his woman lying on the outside, the familiarly haunting music of the Beast Incarnate hit the speakers. Brock Lesnar, with both Paul Heyman and his speakerbox briefcase in tow, charged the ring to attack the worn-out and wounded Rollins. After a couple of nasty-looking throws and suplexs, Heyman did the inevitable and cashed in…
Universal Championship: Seth Rollins (c) vs. Brock Lesnar
Pretty elementary at this point as one F-5 later, the red-strap belt becomes a part-time title yet again. Ugh.
Winner and new champion: Brock Lesnar
Extreme Rules was a fairly decent show, with the main event surprising me most of all with some really nice spots and moments. The popularity of Rollins and Lynch can never be denied. Black/Cesaro was an awesome little contest, as was Ricochet/Styles, but I selfishly wanted each to go a little longer. The U.S. title feud will most likely continue to Summerslam, which I’m sure we’re all more than okay with.
The direction of Kevin Owens really interests me, as I’m curious how long the E will continuously point out their flaws on their own programming. The new champions being crowned offered some surprises, but the return of the barely-there Beast pointed out yet again that Money in the Bank should have been won by McIntyre. Hopefully now, at least, the Scottish Psychopath will stop being Shane’s lackey and finally ascend to being one of the company’s top heels. Their own version of Fight Night in Philly was better than expected, but it’s raising my optimism for an even better edition of Summerslam next month. Please don’t disappoint us, WWE
Rating: 7 out of 10
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