As Ms. Stefani Germanotta once exclaimed, “I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance”. Well, if bad romance is your speed, strap in, because you’ll go gaga for Finnish feature Dogs Don’t Wear Pants.
When heart surgeon Juha’s (Pekka Strang) wife dies in a lake and he nearly drowns trying to save her, he is left cold and unable to connect with others—even his daughter. Years later, he finds himself reaching out again, having found himself in the firm grasp of a dominatrix whose suffocation allows him to feel peace.
This movie is a wild ride, full of neon lights and pitch-black humor. In a lot of ways, it reminded me of a Nicholas Winding Refn movie. Like him, J.-P, Valkeapää has a flair for body horror and minimal dialogue with contemplative close-ups. The real difference lies in the heart that comes through in the relationship that develops between Juha and Mona (Krista Kosonen), his dominatrix.
The performances by both leads are great, with some wonderful physical performances turned in by Strang and Kosonen. Pekka in particular really creates an aura of isolation, but both have a remarkable commitment to their roles and it helps make the body horror scenes truly grisly. There were many groans and much eye-covering at my screening—to say nothing of the handful of people who straight up walked out.
Dogs Don’t Wear Pants is a strange, fun, good movie. It’s not for everyone, though. Between the subject matter and the visceral (although short) horror elements, there’s a lot to drive people away. But for those with a strong stomach who are willing to watch a strange little subtitled movie from Finland? Well, you just may find yourself watching a beautiful movie about self-acceptance and discovery.
